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Apr 1, 2012 at 4:52am
I am right there with you joann.....although, my Mom has not pulled the nasty or mean card...she mostly pulls the helpless card or the "I don't know" card---which saddens me to no end..... spoiler alert-this might be boring...... Yesterday mr bgs and I were taking Mom along to pick up mr bgs' aunt. we took her to cemetary in East Hanover to put a palm cross on her husband's grave (she has no children and does not drive-85 yo). She kind of counts on us for this stuff although she never asks us... anyway, after the cemetary we all went out to lunch on rte 10 and then to Marshall's because Aunt geri and Mom love that place....my Mom finds this gorgeous gold knit sort of metallic blouse in her size and a risque red blouse that my twenty something would love...mom is determined to buy them both...we manage to convince her that she cannot have the red one but she does buy the gold one and when we got home she went up to her room and put on the gold blouse with some slacks and came down and modeled it for us. she looked gorgeous...and when asked where she would wear it she told me that she would find a place to wear it...she was so happy.... last night when she went to bed she used her cell phone to call her youngest brother who told her that her other brother was buried yesterday. after she got off the phone with baby brother she called me on the house phone and asked me to come upstairs and sleep with her because she was so sad. eventually I did go up, checked on her and said that I wanted to sleep in my own bed and she said okay....after i got ready for bed and got into my bed she banged on the wall separating our rooms and told me to come to her.....I eventually did and got in to bed with her and spooned up to her and we talked....she did not want to talk about her brother who passed but of other things....eventually i tired, rolled over and told her I needed to sleep....she then poked me three times in the next hour telling me that I was snoring and I finally got up and went back to my bed....it was a long day..... thanks for letting me ramble....

Dec 8, 2010 at 12:07pm
Since her second hip replacement and physical therapy, my 88yo mother-in-law loves the Land's End products. I should note that she does prefer the men's short sleeve polo shirts instead of the women's. The reason is that they are boxier and their sleeves are a bit longer (to better cover her upper arms) and hang loose at the bottom edge. Their pull-on elasticized knit pants and simple knit a-line skirts have been a dream. She is about 5'6" and 165 lbs. We bought women's large and I am forgetting the men's size. It was a number.

Dec 6, 2010 at 10:28am
Mine is a winter hat - knit by my Mom - cap with a big rolled brim. She gave one to each of us girls one year. One sister was in a car accident before it was mandatory to wear seatbelts. She was wearing mom's hat and cracked the window shield with her head. Not a scratch on her or any repercussions! Amazing. anyone else have a favorite hat?

Jan 7, 2010 at 7:41am
I'd switch doctors, like yesterday. The pendulum seems to have swung over the years from being all positive and happy to talk to "no guarantees." Yeah, we get it. Legal liability, yadda-yadda. But if the person has a type of cancer with a high survival rate AND the drug regimen has good outcomes, WTF? Even Curt's doc started out that way a bit. Cantankerous people, too, as do their cantankerous caregivers. One of the biggest downs for me during Curt's original diagnosis and surgery, and the more recent one in 2004, was the degree to which some of the literature, websites, nurses and family members expected his cancer to radically alter his personality and mine. While we both were capable of spiritual thoughts, love and what-not, we didn't immediately go to some candle-lit astral plane with a zither orchestra in the background. I stayed both positive and crabby, and he stayed positive and busy. And when casual bystanders said things like "I don't know how you do it," or pulled little sad faces with little knit eyebrows, I wanted to sock them. Mostly, fish gotta swim, pay has to be earned, dishes gotta be wished, kids gotta whine. To the extent the "caregivers" (still loathe that term however appropriate; actually "waitress" is more appropriate) and the patient can be themselves they will I think be happier and more likely to live to fight another day. If they're religious, cool. If they're smart alecks, cool. If they want to make it the Yankees playoffs, or see the next Harry Potter movie, or the VS lingerie show, well...you get it.

Oct 1, 2009 at 12:22pm
Posted By: bikefixedWTF is a pashmina, for example? A pashmina is a shawl, usually a very soft, fine knit. Feel free to bring other fashion questions to the group here, or I'd be happy to come over and help sort out the colors and styles, if that would be any real assistance? Posted By: bikefixedYou can tell how poorly I'm handling it by just looking at me and the house. I think most of us would let the house go to pot and quit caring about little things like shaving under the circumstances. You are not handling this poorly at all. It's a gosh-awful situation, and no one would do any better with it than you are. Cut yourself some slack, man. But what would you think of spending more time with friends, and maybe a little less riding every punishing hill you can find on the East Coast? You don't have to be a ray of sunshine or carry the conversation, but maybe it would help you to be around people and get some social distraction?

Mar 27, 2009 at 5:44am
...and being that you have a good figure and probably look great in jeans..... Color is good for sure...I am in a magenta cropped jacket with big buttons, albeit over black knit shirt and black slacks...but the color is great!!! happy day all..........................

May 27, 2008 at 8:56am
yes, baseball hats year-round and knit caps in the winter when i don't have to care what my hair looks like. flipflops or sandals?

May 23, 2008 at 12:59pm
OK, so I'm definitely the fart at the picnic right now. Nyah-nyah-NYAH! Got off work early, and I was coming home (1-ish) all I could think is: "So what's the big woop in this? Kid's at the beach with a friend's family. Kid will later have 9 boys and girls over to par-tay. Me? I got nuttin'" The bone of this, and I offer this as reportage from the front, is there's nothing I want that I can have. It's a sunny day. I have no plans. Oh, I could have plans. Well, given my responsibilities later this evening, limited (can't leave the little mixed sex darlins' in the house alone). I don't wanna go to some other friends' house. I don't wanna go be a 5th (3rd?) wheel. I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna. I don't wanna sit around with other middle aged ladies and knit and talk about reality tv. I don't wanna. I'm restless, and crabby. I don't wanna call a friend and have her indulge me in 15 minutes of my bile. I don't wanna wash the dishes, or get a head start on the laundry. I don't wanna do good mommy things. I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna. My kid is living her life. I'm not saying she doesn't have her "grief process" going on in ways. But I can't live my life yet. It's different. And I don't even know what it is. I don't wanna go to church. I don't wanna go sit on rickety chairs in some widows meeting. All the web sites are for young widows (under 45) or old widows (something over 65 so far as I can see). I am a middle aged widow and I don't wanna. So, I try thinking about what I would do if I could do ANYTHING (within reason). Probably go to the city and get drunk downtown, thus reminding myself that I can't hold it like I used to. Go to the airport and fly away somewhere, though lacking a passport the options are limited. I feel like a Ramones song, 'cept I'm too smart to do those ol' Ramones like things. I don't wanna. MWAH-WAH-WAH-MWAH!!!!!!!....whiney baby doesn't wanna. I guess I'll go unload the snacks for the kids, even though I don't wanna.

Oct 12, 2007 at 1:31am
Heal, recover. Thinking about why I hate those words. Well, part of it is (on my part) my immediate reaction to generalized, pop culture cliches describing profound experiences. And, much as I can eat fast food, these phrases and concepts seem like fast food for human feelings. Not good. "Heal" always sounds like some sort of wound that needs cleaning, maybe stitching, and a bandage so the body can have time to knit itself back together. Ofen a scar. I don't think that's a good analogy for what one does with grief. Seems to me its more like an incorporation, or a toleration. An alien thing is forced upon you and you must deal with it. My experience of grief is that some serious emotional and real things happen, your mind wants to reject it, you go through a certain amount of hell and eventually you assimilate it. It becomes part of you. Can't speak for "recover," though that one gets used more generally, and often in connection with 12-step programs. It, too, is troublesome. Is it like a slipcover? Something new and attractive that you lay over a beat and ugly original? That doesn't seem quite right. Anyway, just thinking about the words we use -- or worse, others use for us -- and how they lie or miss the mark. Some days, "adjusting" seems OK, though not particularly felicitious. I just hate healing. Well, "heeling" might be good as in getting one's grief to heel, like a dog, when walking down the street. I thought about this, too, while watching the Ken Burns WWII series. One woman had been in a POW camp in the Phillipines, as a child. Much later, when she and her family returned to their US ranch, folks asked them about their experience. They shared some, and the old friends countered with their own experiences with rationing etc. The comparison and disconnect was so great, that after a bit the girl and her family stopped speaking of their POW camp experience. They realized the others just wouldn't get it, didn't want to get it and it was way more alienating than it was worth. Sometimes I think that grief and personal hardship is just like that. You can get more PO-ed or upset than when you started. Better to go rake the yard, or walk the dog.

Apr 29, 2007 at 2:23am
Maybe you can knit a steering wheel cover for TS as your donation to the fund las.. Oh and regarding measuring feet, did you know that a persons foot is exactly the same length as the length from the crook of the elbow to where the wrist joins the hand?

Apr 28, 2007 at 2:23pm
**Ask Dr. Greenetree** Dear Dr. Greenetree: I have a friend whose husband recently received a pretty decent report from his oncos et al, yet she still won't measure her feet for me to knit her socks. I have asked her repeatedly over recent weeks to measure her foot, even took my own shoe off to demonstrate what I needed, all to no avail. So, I finished the first sock with only the hopes - yet no guarantees - that it will fit. Do you think I should out her on her own blog as a foot-measuring-avoidance-phobe? Or should I simply knit the second sock and hope it fits? Or should I weave some cat fur into the knit so her imminent new kitten goes berserk when she wears them? Alternatively, should I auction the one completed sock at the new car fund raising F2F? Signed, Confused Knitter

Feb 7, 2007 at 2:23am
Greenetree: Please inform TS that I am able to knit without my left index finger but am having a difficult time flossing my teeth.

Dec 14, 2006 at 11:42am
I paint sometimes, and I knit, and I draw a little, little bit. What is your special talent?

Sep 29, 2006 at 3:34am
For some reason I was unable to sign in the last few days, so you can imagine my frustration at being unable to respond...thanks CLK, for doing it for me. I guess you have all the info now mbb. Anne won't be coming next week, but I'm planning to be there as is CLK. I'm looking forward to meeting you again Winniegirl, and welcoming mbb and pippi (when you can make it). Mostly, we just chat, drink, knit and have fun. It's not formal at all.

Sep 27, 2006 at 7:18am
Glad to know it's still going. I didn't go the week it was closed. I went a week after that I think. I got there at about 6:15 and the bartender said two women had come, but left to get something to eat. I guess the lesson is to be more patient! A little thread drift here... CLK, I know you've knit socks -- do you know how to magic loop?

Sep 26, 2006 at 10:28am
I would be happy to accept the yarn to bring to the knitting group at St. Joseph's Church in Maplewood. We have a group of ladies who knit prayer shawls for shut ins who get visited by representatives of the parish. If you still have the yarn I will come and get it just let me know where and when.

Sep 18, 2006 at 12:35pm
But be careful about buying nursing bras until you know what size you need. Whenever I needed bras during pregnancy, I went ahead and got the nursing type, but not too many. You may end up a different size once the milk comes in. I liked the ones from JCPenney that were made out of cotton knit (like t-shirt material), but everyone has different preferences in this regard. Also, in addition to size, you want to be sure that you like the "hook" on them as there are different types and you need to be able to do it one-handed because the baby is usually occupying the other arm.

Sep 14, 2006 at 5:02pm
I didn't understand how serious bandwidth theft was until I heard about a blogger who had her site shut down by her ISP because people were linking to a picture on her site. She went WAY over her bandwidth limit and was going to have to pay a ton of money to her ISP to get her site back up. It's actually pretty serious. Here is something that practically everybody in the knit-blogsphere links to: http://www.knitblog.com/bandwidth-thief.htm One of the recommendations in that link is to frequently change filenames, so that thieves will get a broken image. That advice is sound - and will lead to exactly what Dave fears, which is archives trashed up with broken images.