HELP NOW!! HUGE BAT IN THE BEDROOM!!! AAUUUGGGHH!!!! REDUX!! REDUX!! (PICS) archived
jta - Thank you for the help, by the way. As the direct result of your efforts, there is now an immaculately coiffed brown bat circulating above Maplewood, reeking of ros
Well that would put a whole new meaning to party pants now wouldn't it!
I was banned from leaving the property, so the pants (or lack thereof) didn't become a factor. The word "abandonment" may have been used in the response upon my suggestion that I step out for a couple of minutes.
C-man,
HYSTERICAL!
Hey, I thought I saw a rather large bat flying through town wearing Skull and Cross bone Party pants!
HYSTERICAL!
Hey, I thought I saw a rather large bat flying through town wearing Skull and Cross bone Party pants!
You know C,
I think (if not mistaken) the people in India or Africa make bowls and cups out of Bat droppings.
*note to self, NEVER attend a dinner party at C-man's house!:wink:
I think (if not mistaken) the people in India or Africa make bowls and cups out of Bat droppings.
*note to self, NEVER attend a dinner party at C-man's house!:wink:
I was reading last night as the drama unfolded, too terrified to comment lest Consonant Family called upon me for aid. :wink:
Freaking hysterical! :jumping: Is ctrzaskacat still snoozing?
Freaking hysterical! :jumping: Is ctrzaskacat still snoozing?
Should have registered ctrzbat on MOL given him a screen name, switched to Soapbox-Politics and let him die of boredom.
This is probably the funniest thread I have ever read!
I don't know what you do for a living - but writing should be a part of it.
And it brings back such found memories of this time last year - almost to the day - when a bat got into my daughter's bedroom.
We all ended up getting rabies shots - since she was sleeping and we cleaned up the bat poop...
I don't know what you do for a living - but writing should be a part of it.
And it brings back such found memories of this time last year - almost to the day - when a bat got into my daughter's bedroom.
We all ended up getting rabies shots - since she was sleeping and we cleaned up the bat poop...
Batpoo is gone. Cleaning folks have been asked to REALLY spend a bit more time in there tomorrow. We will, however, lounge in the basement this evening I think.
sf1 - Based upon that fact, people in India and Africa obviously have issues. I can guarantee, beyond a shadow of doubt, that our dinner parties have not/do not/will not involve poo. Some very nice Cabs and CduPs and the odd stinky cheese, but no poo. Except when I made chili the last time. But that wasn't a dinner party per se as we had beer in cans. And the poo came much much later.
sf1 - Based upon that fact, people in India and Africa obviously have issues. I can guarantee, beyond a shadow of doubt, that our dinner parties have not/do not/will not involve poo. Some very nice Cabs and CduPs and the odd stinky cheese, but no poo. Except when I made chili the last time. But that wasn't a dinner party per se as we had beer in cans. And the poo came much much later.
No... the chimney flue was closed and all open windows were screened. Attic access was shut. The rear porchlight didn't come on as I walked in, and the back hall light was off, so it was still relatively dark there. I think he could have come in behind me through the back door. Given his 0-60 clocked times of about .000352 seconds, he could have gotten into the house, fixed himself beef wellington and a souffle, and enjoyed a nice cigar before I locked the door behind me.
Posted By: ctrzaskaNo... the chimney flue was closed and all open windows were screened. Attic access was shut. The rear porchlight didn't come on as I walked in, and the back hall light was off, so it was still relatively dark there. I think he could have come in behind me through the back door. Given his 0-60 clocked times of about .000352 seconds, he could have gotten into the house, fixed himself beef wellington and a souffle, and enjoyed a nice cigar before I locked the door behind me.
It sounds as if bat is 60-0 vs. Consonant Man. So sorry dude. It seems that you were lucky to escape with your glasses and party pants and that you need a solid tennis racquet for future confrontations.
Uhh..... he's, er..... um, he's BAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCKKKKKK!
AAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Probably a good idea to talk to your doctor about getting rabies shots for the family. I THINK the local rabies epidemic is pretty much over with, but a little caution might still be in order.
I admit when we had a bat in our house about ten years ago I didn't take that advice. No rabies, but did worry about it for a few weeks.
Your bat must have been a marathoner. The one we had ran out of steam after an hour of flying abound our family room in circles and I was able to capture him in a large thick towel. Mrs. K is still pissed I used a good towel btw.
I admit when we had a bat in our house about ten years ago I didn't take that advice. No rabies, but did worry about it for a few weeks.
Your bat must have been a marathoner. The one we had ran out of steam after an hour of flying abound our family room in circles and I was able to capture him in a large thick towel. Mrs. K is still pissed I used a good towel btw.
Glasses? Check.
Tennis racket? Check.
Box? Check.
Hairspray? Check. Sort of.
Sanity? WIll find it later.
Dignity? Now back in the house, at least, so... check.
Pants? Um, yes, check.
2:00AM: This little bastard just flat out REFUSES to leave. Now I'm pissed. It's personal. Of course now I'm connecting the dots and realizing we were cohabiting with a bat yesterday and today, but we'll just not go there, ok? Good. Hanging out on the blinds this time. Better view. Paid extra I'm sure. Locked him in again, this time with the wiondows closed. No escape this time.
2:10AM: This time I DID make it to QuikChek for coffee, on my way to the police station to see about acquiring any spare assault rifles, grenades, fishing nets, a phone book with an exterminator's number in it, whatever. Explain to the guy what's going on and he gives me the same advice that the woman gave me last evening over the phone. Said been there done that. I need voodoo or something. The woman from the phone lasst eve was there again tonight, however, and came over asking how the cat was. This time too bothered to care, although if the bat drops his route to about a foot above ground maybe he'd take a shot at it. She offers to call the FD to come.
2:25AM: Apparently my coffee set off a chain reaction at QuikChek, as upon leaving the police station a squad car ran past me in reverse, two others were parked in the lot, and a third on Boyden. As I made the left on Boyden some dude goes running like hell up Spfld Ave., seemingly unbeknownst to the cops standing in the QuikChek parking lot, so I did my civic duty, pointed like a madman behind me, and took off home before the FD got there. I assume, of course, that he was just out for a late evening jog and just didn't have the proper form. Or attire, for that matter. Innocent until proven guilty and all that. So I only just pointed.
2:35AM-ish: FD comes. Huge truck. Visions of Alice's Restaurant when the sheriff shows up with the pictures with the circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one and realizes the judge is blind. These guys come in (for the record all utterly cool about the whole thing and a real good bunch of guys) with infrared cameras, tanks of whoknowswhat, flashlights, etc. and ctrzbat is gone. Poof. Not cool. Slowly but surely my sanity is washing away and I am morphing into Bill Murray in Caddyshack.
3:00AM-ish: FD leaves and says to call Animal Control in the morning, or them if I see him later. Not often they don't get them, but they were as confounded as I was, particularly since they could see no way out and there was a couple of fresh pieces of batpoop on the floor.
I now wait. All night if I have to. Lights are out, tennis racket is at the ready, windows shut, towel under the door. When he comes out, he's TOAST.
Oh, forgot to add... AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Tennis racket? Check.
Box? Check.
Hairspray? Check. Sort of.
Sanity? WIll find it later.
Dignity? Now back in the house, at least, so... check.
Pants? Um, yes, check.
2:00AM: This little bastard just flat out REFUSES to leave. Now I'm pissed. It's personal. Of course now I'm connecting the dots and realizing we were cohabiting with a bat yesterday and today, but we'll just not go there, ok? Good. Hanging out on the blinds this time. Better view. Paid extra I'm sure. Locked him in again, this time with the wiondows closed. No escape this time.
2:10AM: This time I DID make it to QuikChek for coffee, on my way to the police station to see about acquiring any spare assault rifles, grenades, fishing nets, a phone book with an exterminator's number in it, whatever. Explain to the guy what's going on and he gives me the same advice that the woman gave me last evening over the phone. Said been there done that. I need voodoo or something. The woman from the phone lasst eve was there again tonight, however, and came over asking how the cat was. This time too bothered to care, although if the bat drops his route to about a foot above ground maybe he'd take a shot at it. She offers to call the FD to come.
2:25AM: Apparently my coffee set off a chain reaction at QuikChek, as upon leaving the police station a squad car ran past me in reverse, two others were parked in the lot, and a third on Boyden. As I made the left on Boyden some dude goes running like hell up Spfld Ave., seemingly unbeknownst to the cops standing in the QuikChek parking lot, so I did my civic duty, pointed like a madman behind me, and took off home before the FD got there. I assume, of course, that he was just out for a late evening jog and just didn't have the proper form. Or attire, for that matter. Innocent until proven guilty and all that. So I only just pointed.
2:35AM-ish: FD comes. Huge truck. Visions of Alice's Restaurant when the sheriff shows up with the pictures with the circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one and realizes the judge is blind. These guys come in (for the record all utterly cool about the whole thing and a real good bunch of guys) with infrared cameras, tanks of whoknowswhat, flashlights, etc. and ctrzbat is gone. Poof. Not cool. Slowly but surely my sanity is washing away and I am morphing into Bill Murray in Caddyshack.
3:00AM-ish: FD leaves and says to call Animal Control in the morning, or them if I see him later. Not often they don't get them, but they were as confounded as I was, particularly since they could see no way out and there was a couple of fresh pieces of batpoop on the floor.
I now wait. All night if I have to. Lights are out, tennis racket is at the ready, windows shut, towel under the door. When he comes out, he's TOAST.
Oh, forgot to add... AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Oh, my ctrzaska, so sorry Mr. Bat never actually left--apparently. What a PIA, but glad to see you still have enough wits about you to write so humorously and eloquently about the whole experience--AGAIN!
Wishing you a peaceful, well-rested night tonight, and hoping your favorite little new friend actually really does leave, soon (and unharmed)!!
Truer words were never spoken. I just love those Firemen!
Wishing you a peaceful, well-rested night tonight, and hoping your favorite little new friend actually really does leave, soon (and unharmed)!!
Posted By: ctrzaska(for the record all utterly cool about the whole thing and a real good bunch of guys)
Truer words were never spoken. I just love those Firemen!
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Quite possibly the most hilarious piece I have read all week.