I've had bad luck with random cheap cables on Amazon that look just like what has been posted via eBay. This is what I buy for people at work that need to charge and plug in old-school headphones:
https://www.apple.com/shop/product/HLJV2ZM/A/belkin-35-mm-audio-charge-rockstar
These other solutions would also work:
1. Get a wireless charging phone mount and use the small lighting to 3.5mm adapter.
2. Get a bluetooth receiver for your car that plugs into the AUX and connect to that wirelessly and use lightning for charging only.
3. Get a new car.
We tried a few different Bluetooth solutions and they were all okay but imperfect. We eventually went with option #3.
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Those of you who upgraded to IpX know that the beloved aux is gone. My issue is charging and listening to music/directions at the same time. My car has bluetooth but if I want to hear directions or music from my phone, it's through the aux and the new iPhone's don't have that anymore. So I can either hear directions while my phone slowly dies or charge my phone -- no more combos. Has anyone found a work around for this?