SUNY Empire State

If you are looking at both LA City college and SMC I'd 100% pick SMC. If he doesn't like urban environments I can't see him liking  LACC. Pasadena City College is another very well thought of community college. He can't commute from LA to Irvine if he's planning to live with his friend in LA. 

they are open to where they live. They started thinking of Irvine and when I pointed out how far it was to LA, they started thinking of other schools. He's not opposed to urban (and LA urban is nothing like NYC urban) just doesn't like NYC. They like Sant a Monica the best right now but it's pricier of course.

Thanks for the tip on Pasadena city.

I'm also very interested in areas that will be on or n at the new rail lines in the next year or two. They seem a promising prospect and maybe even a good real estate investment.

shoshannah said:

Please think about what will happen financially if he drops out. He—your nephew, not his dad—will have to start repaying the $5500 Stafford loan. The grace period is 6 months after you graduate or drop out or drop to less than full time. The loan is in the student's name. If he doesn't pay, it will affect his credit rating, his wages will be garnished, and any tax refund he's due will be withheld. Can you be sure he's ready to move through four years of college seamlessly so he can get a job to pay back those loans?

If he does go to college, I STRONGLY recommend that you purchase tuition insurance.

If you would please elaborate on the tuition insurance thing. I'd appreciate it.

I've not previously heard of such insurance; but, I have been out of the financial aid thing for some decades. (But hey, there's insurance for most anything if you've got the premium. Remember Credit Default Swaps).

Thanks for any light you can shed on this matter.

---------------------

With regard to Governor Cuomo's "Free" college thing: does anybody know whether a student awarded an Associate Degree is permitted to pursue a Bachelor Degree in another State, without triggering the repayment obligation? Similar to a Bachelor pursuing an advanced degree in another State.

Thanks for any help.

TomR

If you google tuition insurance you'll find companies that offer it. Most colleges I know of have a recommended provider with whom they've partnered. You should get the one they recommend. But before you buy, carefully review the covered events. It doesn't cover leaving college for any reason. I don't think it would cover dropping out for bad grades or getting kicked out. Most cover for unexpected leaving due to health reasons, injury, diagnosed mental health reasons, etc. But read it carefully. Also, there is a time limitation. You can't make a claim with a week left in the semester.

For SUNY scholarship questions, take a look at the HESC website. They're the ones running the program.

https://www.hesc.ny.gov/

I would like to see the young person you describe take some time away from home on his own under controlled circumstances before going off to college.  It wouldn't have to be for a year, even a few weeks would give a sense of how this young person could function somewhat on his own.  There are programs he could consider, some offered by colleges, that would be suitable for this.  If he was able to manage on his own, then with the support you mention CA might be a real possibility.  If not, something closer to home could work.  Have you looked into off campus housing for the more local alternatives?  Even being 15 minutes away can seem long distance psychologically if one does not commute every day.

I'm not interested in finding him an apartment on Long Island. The cost will be high, he doesn't want it and he wants to go to CA so it seems pointless for a few months.

No Gap year program- he's not interested.

What program is offered that would give him a sense of being on his own for a few weeks? You mean a college summer course or something? Maybe but another hurdle is he just found a job, got trained and started last week so not a great time to now take a few weeks off.

If he goes to CA ( in August or later), I plan to go with him and stay in a long- term hotel for a few weeks so he gets settled. I can work from anywhere.

In Cali what about UC Santa Cruz.  Even the Associate programs offer on-campus housing.  After reading more I think you should help him facilitate his dream.   If he has family there, that is likely more than (or equal to) what he has here, other than you and your mom.  You are above and beyond a good aunt.

checking it out now. Thank you!

UC Santa Cruz (like all UCs) is a 4 year school and you should have a GPA of 3.85 and ACT score of 27/28 to be considered. That said admissions are done. No offense to the nephew but he won't get into any UC school which are all highly competitive.

My mistake.  A friend went there and I could have SWORN it was for an Associate's degree but I must be mistaken.  

no offense taken. If he could get into a 4 year school, there wouldn't be an issue here. The dilemma would be solved

Santa Cruz is northern CA anyway- they want LA

ugh, he just got invited to apply for this program at CSI- asap. Sounds so perfect for him. How do you convince a kid to go to a school they don't want to go to?!?!! Boomie, I may reach out if I can convince him to go on a tour.

As an ASAP student, you will receive a variety of supports toward the achievement of your Associate’s and Bachelor’s Degrees within four years:

• A tuition waiver for any difference between tuition costs and your financial aid award for students in receipt of financial aid;
• A free monthly MetroCard;
• Funding toward textbooks;
• A dedicated ASAP advisor to guide your progress from entry to graduation;
• Priority registration to help you get the classes you need; 
• Opportunities to take preferred classes with fellow ASAP students to foster community and build your network;
• Enhanced career development and academic support services. 

In exchange for all of these resources, you will need to:

• Enroll full-time (minimum 15 credits) each semester and maintain good academic standing. 
• Earn a minimum of 30 credits by the end of each of the four academic years (Note: Students may be required to take winter and/or summer courses to meet this benchmark requirement.) 
• Students who have remediation needs, based on their CUNY Assessment Tests, must enroll in Summer Immersion prior to entering the ASAP Program.
• Complete any developmental course needs within the first year
• Meet regularly with your advisor and attend any required ASAP activities
• Re-apply for financial aid each year

Maybe tell him he has to go on the tour with you, and THEN if he still doesn't want to go to CSI, you'll talk his parents and/or cover some costs for him to go to California.

ETA: A financial angle (I'll give you a fixed $X amount to help you with college costs of living, which will get you only ____  in CA, but would get you ___ much more at CSI) could also be helpful to help him think critically about the decision.

Not sure a tour would facilitate the right answer.   CSI is a beautiful campus.  He will like it.  I am just not sure if the campus culture is what he wants.   Vast majority of students are native Staten Islanders.   A small percentage from Brooklyn.   It's not good or bad, its just definitely a specific culture that is unique.

well, his dislike seems to be mostly aimed at Long Islanders (probably because he never really clicked with anyone in his HS) and NYC which "smells". Ugh

There is none of this critical thinking skill in him. He doesn't care or understand how much things cost- just wants to go to CA. I try exalting that 40 hrs a week at mcdonalds isn't going to cover $2000 a month in expenses and he says he'll be fine.

sprout said:

ETA: A financial angle (I'll give you a fixed $X amount to help you with college costs of living, which will get you only ____  in CA, but would get you ___ much more at CSI) could also be helpful to help him think critically about the decision.

conandrob240 said:

There is none of this critical thinking skill in him. He doesn't care or understand how much things cost- just wants to go to CA. I try exalting that 40 hrs a week at mcdonalds isn't going to cover $2000 a month in expenses and he says he'll be fine.

sprout said:

ETA: A financial angle (I'll give you a fixed $X amount to help you with college costs of living, which will get you only ____  in CA, but would get you ___ much more at CSI) could also be helpful to help him think critically about the decision.

That there alone is good enough reason for him not to go to California. Someone has to be the adult in the room. What does his therapist say? Does he/she think your nephew is mature enough to move 3,000 miles away and live on his own?

here's the thing- do we have a choice really if he wants to go? He's 18.

conandrob240 said:

here's the thing- do we have a choice really if he wants to go? He's 18.

Sure, but you do  have a choice of whether anyone pays for that choice.  My daughter wanted to go to Cali for college too.  We told her no, she had to pick a NJ state school, or finance the difference on her own.

conandrob240 said:

here's the thing- do we have a choice really if he wants to go? He's 18.

I suppose if he has the money for airfare, first/last months' rent and security, and can get a job and manage money on his own then you theoretically can't stop him.

But I don't buy into the 18 BS. He's legally an adult, but does he seem like an adult to you? Sounds like you have a lot of influence over him.

Maybe LA could be his "gap" year. Sounds like he might need it. What scares me (with a prospective college student in a couple of years) is the stories about kids who go to college and don't really get much out of it--whether they complete a degree or not. That might be one of unintended consequences to the idea that everyone should go to college. I'm not convinced that it is the right choice for all kids. Best of luck. Your interest, love and help has and will continue to make a difference for him.

try to get him to just take the tour, no pressure. You can only do so much. 

@conandrob240 I just thought of something else. I would never suggest this but maybe financial aid would make a difference. He's still interested in film, etc? 

There is a school in FL (it's for profit) that's basically a trade school for "the industry." You do get a degree but supposedly credits might not get accepted elsewhere. It's called Full Sail. A former co worker of Mr. shh works in admissions. He worked with several guys who went to school there. I know it's not CA but it might be the type of situation that gets him excited about learning. 

https://www.fullsail.edu/

If you want to reach out to the woman we know let me know. I actually reached out to her when I was looking at schools for my eldest. (She was director of operations for an audio post studio in NYC so she's knowlegable.)

why would "not getting much out of it" be scary? So be it. I'd rather waste a year of tuition than he waste a year of his life doing nothing.

He'll do what I tell him to do really. He's not the kind of kid that would go against what he's told to do. But I'd rather him be happy and thrive and the dilemma is where does that happen for him? I know for all of you with normal families and functional households, the answer is simple. For him, not as much.

conandrob240 said:

why would "not getting much out of it" be scary? So be it. I'd rather waste a year of tuition than he waste a year of his life doing nothing.

He'll do what I tell him to do really. He's not the kind of kid that would go against what he's told to do. But I'd rather him be happy and thrive and the dilemma is where does that happen for him? I know for all of you with normal families and functional households, the answer is simple. For him, not as much.

Are you sure that he knows what will make him happy?  Sometimes even an 18 year old appreciates a little direction when it comes to weighing his alternatives.

conandrob240 said:

why would "not getting much out of it" be scary? So be it. I'd rather waste a year of tuition than he waste a year of his life doing nothing.

He'll do what I tell him to do really. He's not the kind of kid that would go against what he's told to do. But I'd rather him be happy and thrive and the dilemma is where does that happen for him? I know for all of you with normal families and functional households, the answer is simple. For him, not as much.

Let me get something straight. Who's paying back the Stafford loan? That's the student loan from the Feds that he got as a result of filing Fafsa. It's $5500 freshman year and a bit more each subsequent year. Are you going to pay it back for him? Or is he responsible for the loan that's in his name?

I think the question about not getting much out of it has to do with the thousands upon thousands of students who drop out of college and have nothing to show for it except thousand of dollars in loans that have to be paid back. If you're just going to pay it for him no matter what, then I guess there's no practical risk for him.

Why don't you talk him into going to SI (after looking at it) and tell him if he does well he can transfer to California in two years?

a couple things: you should not assume that things are easy/straightforward for other/"normal" people

I think most of the people responding here have followed your/his story for years and appreciate the difficulties he has faced and are trying to be helpful. 

Yes there are kids who graduate with loads of student debt and the same low level jobs that can be had without a college degree. That is a prospect I don't wish on anyone.

Life is a marathon not a sprint (maybe I'm older than you). So a gap year is not the end of the world if it gives him time to grow up, start to develop some life goals and gain a more positive perspective towards college.

he is not taking a gap year. He has nothing useful lined up. He's not interested in the variety of options along those lines. To me, a gap year would need to involve some sort of community/ public service,enrichment,spiritual growth or come because a kid is exhausted from being so high achieving. A gap year for him would be him moping around the house in a sh?!%ty environment.  Not happening. I assume it works for some who have a solid plan. Not going to be an option for this kid. 

The Stafford loans will be in his name. Maybe we have a different sense of $ but I'm not overly concerned by $20k (max) debt for 4 years of college. If he's done well and is trying his best, I'll help him pay them back if he needs help. It seems a small pittance for a college education to me. if he wastes a year or two in college and doesn't get much out of it, okay, so we're down $5-10k. Not a big deal to me. I can think of far bigger "wastes" of $. 

I didn't say "easy" just more straightforward. Good home life, decent parents - not a lot of factors to debate about whether a year at home is good or bad for the kid. His situation (thankfully) is extremely unique.

conandrob240 said:

The Stafford loans will be in his name. Maybe we have a different sense of $ but I'm not overly concerned by $20k (max) debt for 4 years of college. If he's done well and is trying his best, I'll help him pay them back if he needs help. It seems a small pittance for a college education to me. if he wastes a year or two in college and doesn't get much out of it, okay, so we're down $5-10k. Not a big deal to me. I can think of far bigger "wastes" of $. 

$27,000 in principal if he borrows the maximum over four years. Do you think he'll graduate in four years?

He's allowed to borrow for a total of six years for undergrad. If he takes six years to graduate, he'll owe $42,000 in principal and will be paying somewhere around $50,000 at this year's student-loan interest rate (3.76%) if he chooses a 10-year payment plan.

This is what a dependent student is allowed to borrow:

• Year 1: $5,500
• Year 2: $6,500
• Years 3-6, per year: $7,500