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8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite
thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
**Excerpts from a Cat's Diary**
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt
me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine
lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I
are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I
make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must
eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps
me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once
again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless
body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear
into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what
I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a "good little
hunter" I am. Bastards! There was some sort of
assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in
solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this
means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to
assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his
feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow
-- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that
the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
released - and seems to be more than willing to
return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to
be an informant. I observe him communicate with the
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my
every move. My captors have arranged protective
custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.
For now...