How to dress when over 50 or 60

Thanks so much for starting this thread. I've always hated to shop for clothes, but now that I am plus 50, it was become a real PITA! 

PeggyC said:

Eileen Fisher's clothes are wonderful, I think, but GROSSLY overpriced. I have bought some of her stuff over the years, but only on drastic sales. Even then, the prices can be a bit startling.

 Agreed!  I only buy on sale in the outlet where a $250 sweater can be had for $60 (for example) or $99 t-shirt for $19, etc...

right there with you - i hate hate getting older 

as i observe women of "age" in publications and out and about, i notice they tend to go for beautiful basics and then accessorize really well - so thats my current strategy - essentially shifting the focus from my clothes on my body to a great scarf, necklace, jacket, etc

love the trapeze tops that have a more generous bottom cut - J Jill has a big sale going now (40% of the sale prices) so i picked up a bunch in different colors 

i also have eliminated almost every boat neck and scoop neck from my wardrobe and will only buy V (primarily deep V) seems to really help the line 

btw check out off 5th (they now have a web site) for eileen fisher - i have pieces that are many years old that have held up very very well 

One thing that I have learned is to use color in different ways.  Brighter colors are now my friend and pink my go-to pastel.  

I no longer color my hair and the grayer/whiter I get, certain shades of silver and Gray brighten me up and compliment my new look.  I admire women who can wear beige/camel and white coordinates.  They look so put together.  But that doesn't work for me anymore. 

 Blues remain a staple.

Chicos has lots of colorful clothing for that certain aged woman. Large sizes too. 

Oh my goodness, so many of these comments resonate with me!  I, too, have found it more and more painful to shop as I've aged and as my body has changed in ways that I can't control.  Department stores can be overwhelming with choices and smaller, boutique-type stores can break the bank.  If you can find a style that works for you, try to get color variations of it.  Working with a stylist can help you get to that style.  My go-to outfits are (almost always) black pants with (mostly) v-neck tunics that fall a bit below the hips but that aren't too voluminous.  Jewelry and scarves can change the look of an outfit, too.  If you can wear heels, that oftentimes helps to create a flattering silhouette.  

Good luck to all of us!

For pants I like NYDJ...though not the ones that hug the leg all the way down. I have to admit that I feel humiliated by the muffin top that comes out over the top of tighter fitting waists. I am finding that in regular clothes that my size 12 is now too tight around the waist. However if I buy a 14, the rest of the fit through the hips and legs look baggy/frumpy. One year I bought a pair of slender (narrower?) cut ponte knit pants from J Jill. They had comfort and flow without the wide leg look that makes me look wider. But, like I referred to in earlier post, I have continued to buy their clothes, but am finding the knits either pill badly, or the threads in the fabric breaks. For kicking around the house, I don't mind. But for work, I find it embarrassing. I do find that Talbott's, at times, offers a range of cuts, and that I can find something that works for my body. I really cannot wear the lower cut pants. Even when I weighed  20 or 30 pounds less. 

Tops are complicated too. Big bust. Narrow shoulders. Thinking about women I admired, the thought that comes to mind are the bright women who obviously struggle with their weight. Hillary Clinton. Madeline Albright. I admire Helen Mirren too, but she doesn't seem to have extra weight. 

Am I the only one who didn't like the Lauren site? Not sure what I expect. I think I am having difficulty accepting that there are not so many styles for me to choose from. But it also doesn't help that when I do go to stores, the preponderance of clothes should not be worn on anyone over a size 6. krnl, I think I, too, have a hard time believing my body is not like it used to be...until I try on some current styles that would have at one time been becoming on me. 

Lizziecat, I think our shopping is very similar.

This thread is very timely for me, because I've recently realized that it would probably behoove me to start dressing at least a little bit closer to my age (53), and I'm not really sure how to do so. I'm not plus-sized, but I'm heavier than I used to be, and I fear I've started to look slightly silly in miniskirts or skin-tight trousers. (I am a pure apple shape, with thin legs and narrow hips, so I can still fit into that sort of thing, but that doesn't mean I should.) it doesn't help that the women I work with are almost all under 30 and look good in everything--I find myself wanting to dress like them, and I really shouldn't.

I buy most of my clothes from Boden or Loft, and they do have some age-appropriate clothes, but I'd love to find a good source for tops and dresses WITH SLEEVES as an alternative. I'm going to check out the J. Jill sale and see what I can find.

These days I live in L. L. Bean turtle necks (colder weather) and tee shirts (warmer weather) over comfort waist slacks.  I then add a sweater or jacket as needed.  Look can go from business casual to quite casual depending on color and fabric.  These items come in a range of sizes from petite to plus size and can be ordered on-line or over the phone.  They are also relatively inexpensive and seem to last for more than a year or two.

Now that I am quickly approaching 50, I think I will become a nudist to avoid all of this.

Leighan might be onto something. But I think for that to work, a MUCH warmer climate is required.

I hate to shop too, so Jones and Talbots are my go-to for work clothes.   I generally wait until there's a sale and then buy what I've liked.  Sizing has been a crap shoot since there are many different silhouettes listed under the same size but different styles, but I've found one style that works for me - for now.

I don't have much to add other than have you ladies considered a good tailor to modify some of your clothes to fit you the way you want? I know my grandmother, who is now 86 and has a very odd shape (apple) always got her "nice" clothes tailored or even custom made and looks amazing for her age and her body shape. She buys a very nice fabric (wool or silk) and gets the garment made, typically pencil skirts and dresses as she does not wear pants. I don't think she ever did (old school). Just another suggestion. I don't think we leverage tailoring enough and many of us have a hard time looking good off the rack. 

Tailoring is insanely expensive also. I recently got a nice "t-shirt" top shortens (because most go down past my hips), and it was $16. Kinda pricey, IMHO.

pmartinezv said:

I don't have much to add other than have you ladies considered a good tailor to modify some of your clothes to fit you the way you want? ... Just another suggestion. I don't think we leverage tailoring enough and many of us have a hard time looking good off the rack. 

That makes sense to me, and I do it, for professional work wear or 'social' activities where you want to truly put your best foot forward. 

However, as meand noted, it can be darn expensive for other types of leisure clothing.  Her example of shortening t-shirts is a good example. (I admit I have an extensive wardrobe of t-shirts--just about the only souvenir I purchase on our travels--and as much as I would like to have some shortened, it is just too expensive.

I did have a bunch of work pants tailored after I lost weight--many years back. It felt great. I think I spent around 30 per pair of slacks. The weight stayed off for a long time, so it was worth it. But taking out clothes is much trickier. I think my biggest problem is that I have really lost patience with the whole undertaking. 

I completely understand losing patience with the whole undertaking, Gerryl. I feel the same way. And I also agree that while tailoring can be a wonderful way to make things work, not only is tailoring insanely expensive, but it's also hit or miss. I've rarely had good luck finding a really good tailor. 

ETA: I just spent half an hour perusing the Eileen Fisher stuff on Saks Off 5th, and I'm really depressed. I love her clothes so much, but I can't really afford it even with a 30% off coupon from a friend.

Well, this thread has given me incentive (and much-needed impetus) to try to make an effort again in how I dress. As I'm packing for our move next week, I'm reconnecting with items in my wardrobe that I really love but had forgotten, and finding a cache of beautiful silk scarves that belonged to my mother is inspiring me to rather more interesting combinations than I have attempted for awhile.

Of course, the long, horrible winter didn't help. I pretty much spent the winter in sweats! Now I'm headed for loose cotton or linen pants and skirts, easy pretty shirts or slim lightweight sweaters, and scarves to pull it together and provide a bit of spark.

Just remembered one of the blogs I like, in part because she travels a lot.

http://unefemme.net/

Une Femme is good, but she spends hundreds of dollars on a t-shirt or a pair of flats. And thousand on a handbag. Hardly practical for the common woman. Style at a Certain Age is good. She's very traditional. She does a lot of J. Crew which, while also a little expensive, is certainly more in line with the average woman's budget.

I have seen your shared posts from Style at a Certain Age, MATB. Some of them are extremely helpful. And you can always use the recommendations as a kind of template and look for similar items without going to the same store and paying that nosebleed price.

Style at a Certain Age--at least the woman looks a bit more like she is at least 50. I guess my problem is getting things to fit. J Crew never fit me. I have a long waist, a long crotch, narrow shoulders, full bust. At this age, my stomach gets upset if I wear a tight waistband. 

It's absolutely true. Designers seem to take no account of the fact that bodies change shape as they age, no matter how careful you are about diet and exercise. Things just aren't quite where they used to be. Which makes me sad and a little angry. After all, women of a certain age want to look good in their clothes, too. And it certainly makes shopping much more of a chore and much less of a pleasure.

I've been searching for a pair of white jeans. In the last several days I have had on three different pairs from three different manufacturers, all the same size. One strangled me at the waist. One fit, but was loose enough that it fell down when I walked. The third was so large that I could have fit one and half of me in them. All the same size. This is another frustrating aspect of shopping. Who has time to try on multiple pairs of pants from multiple manufacturers in hopes of find one that will actually fit?

Based on this thread I took advantage of the 40% off sale at j.jill and ordered several tops.  It felt good to receive tops that were not too tight and form fitting.  On the other hand, it increased my sense that I need bigger boobs to offset the increasing measurement of my girth.  ;-(     

Back to j.jill:  the quality of the garments was very good; if you are somewhat between sizes and ordering some of their looser styles--no need to size up, sizing down might be the right way to go.

meandtheboys said:

I've been searching for a pair of white jeans. In the last several days I have had on three different pairs from three different manufacturers, all the same size. One strangled me at the waist. One fit, but was loose enough that it fell down when I walked. The third was so large that I could have fit one and half of me in them. All the same size. This is another frustrating aspect of shopping. Who has time to try on multiple pairs of pants from multiple manufacturers in hopes of find one that will actually fit?

It's so stupid.  Sometimes I'm not even sure why they bother putting sizes on clothing.  I wish they would follow the example of men's clothing makers in this regard. 

Chiming in a little late here, but I've been following this discussion as it looks like I'm about to go back to a financial services career that I thought I had left almost 4 years ago...  In the intervening time, I hit 50 and find myself getting a bit sensitive to staying 'fresh', but still age-appropriate. 

I've worn JNY suits and separates almost exclusively since the mid-90s because they're cut perfectly for me, no tailoring required.  I hate shopping for clothes more than words can explain and with a trip to the Jones outlet once or twice a year, I was always able to put an adequate wardrobe together and then maybe fill in with a couple of other pieces here and there.  I'm also terrible about accessorizing, am limited to flats or very low heels due to foot problems and an old knee injury, and don't do skirts or dresses because I have very athletic legs that look awful with a skirt and flats.

I hit Jones earlier this week and am not finding much there that works - they've scrapped a lot of their classics.  So, knowing that I'm faced with a major wardrobe refresh, I'm intrigued by the personal shopper / stylist idea. I'll try a couple of the department stores mentioned earlier, but would also consider working with someone independent.  If anyone has any recommendations, I'm all ears.  TIA!