How to Be a Citizen of NJ archived

The host of the Late Late Show on CBS, Craig Ferguson, is trying to become a “citizen” of as many states and municipalities as he can. As it states on the website for his project: “Fueled by his longing to become a United States citizen, Craig Ferguson has launched a campaign to become an honorary citizen of towns and cities across America. Now you can follow the host of ‘The Late Late Show’ as he receives honorary citizenship documents from governors and mayors across the country.”

Apparently, Governor Corzine has “granted” him an honorary citizenship of New Jersey, but with some conditions –

Dear Craig -
I understand you are seeking to become an honorary citizen of the state of New Jersey.

Before we bestow this great honor upon you, however, I feel the need to explain to you the burdens and responsibilities of being a citizen of the great Garden State.

First, anytime anyone refers to the New York Giants, New York Jets or New York Red Bulls, you have to sigh, roll your eyes and remind that person that all of those teams actually play in New Jersey. Same goes for the Statue of Liberty.

Second, anytime someone only knows New Jersey because "Tony Soprano is from there," you are required to mention that there is an endless list of notable and accomplished individuals who lived in or are from New Jersey, including two current Supreme Court Justices, Albert Einstein, and Joe Piscopo.

Third, and perhaps most importantly, you must immediately adjust your musical tastes so that Bruce Springsteen, Bon Jovi and Queen Latifah are the only artists on your iPod. This is non-negotiable.

Finally, enclosed with this letter, please find a chip that is to be placed directly on your shoulder (left or right). This chip must be clearly visible to anyone who suggests that New Jersey is simply "the state between New York City and Philadelphia."

If you are prepared to take all of those steps, I am thrilled to grant you honorary status as a citizen of New Jersey.

Governor Jon S. Corzine

The rest of you, please note and act accordingly. :thumbup:

Albert Einstein, and Joe Piscopo are Supreme Court Justices????

Thanks nohero. That was great.

Wit! Who knew?

Tom R has a point.

I think the phrase "two current Supreme Court Justices, Albert Einstein, and Joe Piscopo" is meant to refer to 4 people (2 justices plus Einstein and Piscopo). Hence, the comma between Einstein and Piscopo.

I just liked the fact that he put the latter two together on the same list.

Where's Walt Whitman? Is ignorance so great at the state house that our governor can promote Joe Piscopo over Walt Whitman?

(He knows they're not related, right?)

"Where's Walt Whitman?"

Whitman never got as many laughs as Piscopo?

(or as many as Scalia, for that matter)

Posted By: daveTom R has a point.

He might but both of you are missing the reason for colons, to wit:

"two current Supreme Court Justices, Albert Einstein, and Joe Piscopo" means four people as nohero said above, whereas

"two current Supreme Court Justices: Albert Einstein, and Joe Piscopo" would mean we would have a genius and a comedian on the bench (which wouldn't be the worst thing in the world of course).

OK, I found a current picture of the Court.

And Governor Corzine Dogbert should know! :bigsmile:

Scalia's from NJ? We don't want him!

Well according to this website, Scalia is from NJ but he moved to Queens when he was five. (Unfortunately, I'm from Queens. :sad http://www.supremecourthistory.org/myweb/justice/scalia.htm

It's not like Einstein is "from NJ."

True dogbert, but since he spent the last twenty years of his life here and since the Institute for Advanced Study became, based largely on his tenure there, the most famous research center of the world, I'll take him as a citizen of New Jersey any day. Wouldn't you?

I feel I should post on this thread because, well, because I'm Jersey Boy.

Let's not forget Abbott and Costello or Frank Sinatra.

As for "honorary" N.J. Citizenship?

I'm against it.

I'm just surprised that Gov. C didn't put J.B's name into the letter.

It should have read "Second, anytime someone only knows New Jersey because "Tony Soprano is from there," you are required to mention that there is an endless list of notable and accomplished individuals who lived in or are from New Jersey, including two current Supreme Court Justices, Albert Einstein, Joe Piscopo and Jersey Boy."



And to think we let him come to JB's town after he ignored our boy.

:wink:

SO Parent,

:thumbup:

:rolling::rolling::rolling:

Tom R is right. The phrase, ",including two current Supreme Court Justices, Albert Einstein, and Joe Piscopo," if parsed out states that "the following two names are included." I don't believe that you need a semicolon to establish a list. BTW, I think that the letter is a hoax, Corzine never signed it.

[edited to include Corzine comment]

So I go ", , ,", and Wendy gets all ":", and PhilC goes all "no ;!" and then ...

Sorry, wrong thread.

Anyway, you may be right, PhilC, but it's still amusing.