"Alternative Lifestyles" - What's your take? archived
Feb 24, 2010 at 7:15am
Why not just do this in your house, if that's your inclination. There already are private clubs like this - they're called Whore Houses. So, not I don't want a whorehouse in my neighborhood, but I could care less if a bunch of like minded people got together in their homes and have orgies.
If it wasn't for sex clubs, there's a slight possibility that Barack Obama might not have been elected Senator, and then President.
http://www.cnn.com/2004/ALLPOLITICS/06/25/il.ryan/
http://www.cnn.com/2004/ALLPOLITICS/06/25/il.ryan/
The only thing I have is my own personal experience. I found having intimate relations with others lessened my feelings for the relationship with my partner. That was my intent and if that is your intent as well, go ahead and indulge.
campbell29 makes a good point.
It is the fact that it is a business and that the proprietor is hoping for profit that creeps me out. That is just a hair's breadth away from making a profit from other illicit activities like the sale of drugs and prostitution.
Alternative Lifestyles are one thing. Alternative Lifestyle Businesses are another.
(I also have to add the thought of "orgies" reminds me of the fall of Rome due to mental perversions and civic malaise! Odd but true.)
It is the fact that it is a business and that the proprietor is hoping for profit that creeps me out. That is just a hair's breadth away from making a profit from other illicit activities like the sale of drugs and prostitution.
Alternative Lifestyles are one thing. Alternative Lifestyle Businesses are another.
(I also have to add the thought of "orgies" reminds me of the fall of Rome due to mental perversions and civic malaise! Odd but true.)
Posted By: kmk(I also have to add the thought of "orgies" reminds me of the fall of Rome due to mental perversions and civic malaise! Odd but true.)Yeah, the thought of orgies makes me think of those creepy HBO "Real Sex" series from the 90s. Everyone they featured was really ugly and hairy. Imagining any of my neighbors involved in orgies gives me the same creepy feeling. (Sorry neighbors).
I don't have an objection what consenting adults do in the privacy of their homes (or friends' homes).
I wonder if the public objection comes from the assumption that an establishment advertising these activities would attract an undesirable element - the same you might find around a strip club or an adult video store. And by undesirable, I mean, drugs and prostitution. I'm not suggesting all strip clubs/adult stores invite or encourage drugs/prostitution, but it's more likely that you might find both there.
I wonder if the public objection comes from the assumption that an establishment advertising these activities would attract an undesirable element - the same you might find around a strip club or an adult video store. And by undesirable, I mean, drugs and prostitution. I'm not suggesting all strip clubs/adult stores invite or encourage drugs/prostitution, but it's more likely that you might find both there.
Posted By: campbell29Why not just do this in your house, if that's your inclination. There already are private clubs like this - they're called Whore Houses. So, not I don't want a whorehouse in my neighborhood, but I could care less if a bunch of like minded people got together in their homes and have orgies.
In Whore House, the Whore gets paid in Cash. In a Swinger's Club, the Whore gets paid in Merlot and Canapes, in return for cash.
To be honest, I could have a Whore House next door to my house and not have a clue, and as long as I don't have a clue, I really don't care how people waste their money.
If I found out that some of friends were doing that... I feel like I did find that out about someone, and yeah, it changed my opinion of them for about 5 minutes, then I stopped caring again.
I believe in percentages...if a certain percentage of people eat Twizzlers, then theres a chance that a similar percentage of people on MOL or in my neighborhood eat Twizzlers. If a certain percentage of people engage in a specific alternative lifestyle practice, then theres a good chance theres a similar percentage on MOL and in my neighborhood doing the same. No big deal..that's life.
Awhile back, someone in town came up to me and said she heard rumor of a swingers party that was going to happen up the block from me and asked if I knew or if I could guess who it might be (my invitation must have gotten lost in the mail)...so I said, I dont know, it could be anyone...and it could. I mean, its not like guys walk around looking like Leisure Suit Larry and women walk around looking like extras from Caligula. I only care that they wash their hands afterwards.
And out here in the burbs, there may be an even greater chance of stumbling across alternative lifestyle participants and businesses because from what Ive read about alternative practices and lifestyles, the typical participant tends to be more educated and more affluent. To each their own, if its consenting. As for alternative lifestyle businesses, like any business, I am sure there are some that are run well and some that arent. Id be concerned about the ones that arent run well, but I dont know where any of them are...good or bad, even if theres one right in my neighborhood.
Awhile back, someone in town came up to me and said she heard rumor of a swingers party that was going to happen up the block from me and asked if I knew or if I could guess who it might be (my invitation must have gotten lost in the mail)...so I said, I dont know, it could be anyone...and it could. I mean, its not like guys walk around looking like Leisure Suit Larry and women walk around looking like extras from Caligula. I only care that they wash their hands afterwards.
And out here in the burbs, there may be an even greater chance of stumbling across alternative lifestyle participants and businesses because from what Ive read about alternative practices and lifestyles, the typical participant tends to be more educated and more affluent. To each their own, if its consenting. As for alternative lifestyle businesses, like any business, I am sure there are some that are run well and some that arent. Id be concerned about the ones that arent run well, but I dont know where any of them are...good or bad, even if theres one right in my neighborhood.
To be honest, I know many who swing or cheat or have open arrangements but we don't socialize with any for obvious reasons. And I've seen too many people say "what's the harm?" only to have it blow up in their faces. Or worse, it's blown up in their childrens' faces after revelations came to light. Everyone is entitled to their own definition of marriage, but mine/ours is a closed shop. Most of the people we are friends with are like-minded and hold their marriages in similar regard.
Feb 24, 2010 at 8:47am Edited
I have always been fascinated with "open marriages" - mainly because it's something I don't think I could ever be part of and I wondered if its truly possible to be good and loving partners to each other, and open a relationship up. I find this topic far more interesting than the original one. Of course there are sex parties going on in Maplewood...and in most towns!
But again, I ask, is it possible to sustain a loving relationship FOR A LONG TIME with a nonmonagamous relationship. From everything i have read, success is rare, and if at all, it is short lived.
But again, I ask, is it possible to sustain a loving relationship FOR A LONG TIME with a nonmonagamous relationship. From everything i have read, success is rare, and if at all, it is short lived.
When I was looking to buy here, my realtor (long in the business, very in the know about the community) took me to one house that had a large "rec room" -- with a big bar -- and all the windows up high (close to the ceiling). She was quite clear about what the use of that room was for -- exactly the type of "parties" being described here.
(I didn't buy that house, but the next owner did put in "regular" windows in that room)
(I didn't buy that house, but the next owner did put in "regular" windows in that room)
I was in an "open marriage"...unfortunately I wasn't told about it until it my marriage was over. And in my case, the misdeeds occured within the confines of my lovely cul-de-sac. Nothing suprises me anymore.
Posted By: boomieOf course there are sex parties going on in Maplewood...and in most towns!
Wow. Really? Who knew? Not me for sure.
Anyhoo, live and let live is my philosophy in general. You don't bother me, I won't bother you.
Posted By: boomieI am so sorry to hear that. The betrayal must feel awful.
It still stings - despite the fact that I'm happily remarried. But I learned that even the most docile, bucolic looking neighborhoods can hide a hot bed of bed-hopping, spouse-swapping, adultery...you name it. I remember watching the film "Little Children" and thinking...whoa, too close to home. Then I heard that the guy who wrote the book it was based on was from Westfield, NJ. Don't know if that's true, but it always stuck with me.
Posted By: ridski
In Whore House, the Whore gets paid in Cash. In a Swinger's Club, the Whore gets paid in Merlot and Canapes, in return for cash.
To be honest, I could have a Whore House next door to my house and not have a clue, and as long as I don't have a clue, I really don't care how people waste their money.
If I found out that some of friends were doing that... I feel like I did find that out about someone, and yeah, it changed my opinion of them for about 5 minutes, then I stopped caring again.
this
If one belongs to a 'club' to have sex with others how is it any different then prostitution?
k-soze,
I'm curious . . . are the private clubs businesses, or just a group of people hanging out together?
I'm curious . . . are the private clubs businesses, or just a group of people hanging out together?
Posted By: justjeannemarieIf one belongs to a 'club' to have sex with others how is it any different then prostitution?
Maybe because in a club you're not paying the person you're having sex with - you're paying an establishment for the right of entry.
I tried to join Whorers and More, but I couldn't find the local chapter.
Posted By: HahahaMaybe because in a club you're not paying the person you're having sex with - you're paying an establishment for the right of entry.Yes but, with a 'escort' service /prostitute you pay the pimp / madam, don't you.
pros·ti·tu·tion (prst-tshn, -ty-) KEY
NOUN:
The act or practice of engaging in sex acts for hire.
Seems to me pimps, madams, middlemen of all kinds would be guilty of something other than prostitution. The person engaging in the hired sex and ultimately getting paid for it, would be the prostitute.
NOUN:
The act or practice of engaging in sex acts for hire.
Seems to me pimps, madams, middlemen of all kinds would be guilty of something other than prostitution. The person engaging in the hired sex and ultimately getting paid for it, would be the prostitute.
OK, I'm entering novice territory here but my understanding is that with an escort you're still paying the person providing the sex act. The escort service is a marketing vehicle that gets a "cut" from the escort.
It doesnt matter. The person having sex for money is a prostitute, its that simple. Everyone else is just normal scum.
Feb 24, 2010 at 9:57am Edited
Posted By: justjeannemarieIf one belongs to a 'club' to have sex with others how is it any different then prostitution?
No personal experience, but I believe that it's the members of the club having sex with each other - the club is providing the space/club atmosphere, but not providing the partners.
ETA: I'm basing this on Law & Order etc...
Posted By: HahahaI remember watching the film "Little Children" and thinking...whoa, too close to home. Then I heard that the guy who wrote the book it was based on was from Westfield, NJ. Don't know if that's true, but it always stuck with me.He's from somewhere in Union County. Westfield or Cranford or something. He's written several good books: Election, Joe College, a few others. I never saw the movie "Little Children," but I liked the book, even though it was depressing.
Posted By: meandtheboysMe neither. I'm a real babe in the woods sometimes.Posted By: boomieOf course there are sex parties going on in Maplewood...and in most towns!
Wow. Really? Who knew? Not me for sure.
"I'm a real babe in the woods sometimes."
stuff is happening there too, and you havent noticed?
stuff is happening there too, and you havent noticed?
BTW, kind of wacky of the real estate agent to discuss that! How did s/he know??:shocked:
Posted By: crazy_quilterI tried to join Whorers and More, but I couldn't find the local chapter.
Next meeting at my house - Sunday night. Bring your own wine - Babysitting provided.
P.S. We're going to do things a little different this time.... Please bring someone else's husband, not your own - we don't want a repeat of last month's fiasco.
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Seriously, I'm trying to gather opinions on this. Apparently the swinging community is quite large. More folks are into it than I imagined. I came to this upon finding out a couple of my neighbors go to special clubs and host/attend special parties. Personally, I have no issue with it and I am surprised to find how many are quick to vehemently oppose or opine. Who cares what's done behind closed doors. So I took my queries a step further...:devil:...I looked into one of those clubs. I found I was wrong about what goes on. At first I thought it was all out debauchery. Not so, seems they are respectable, no illicit or illegal things going on. I read about a place that was pretty much under fire from local holy rollers and officials (who claim to be of high moral value). News crews and bad press eventually shut them down. Even if I didn't agree with the goings on, was that really warranted? The argument was that such a place would attract the wrong crowd. How so, From what I learned, the people were everyday normal folk. Doctors, lawyers, stay at home moms, professionals...who pay a lot of money to be exclusive members, only surrounded by same. Don't seem like the type who would bring a criminal element or otherwise unwanted behavior.
So, what's your take? How would you feel if there was a private club in town? What if you found out a dear friend or family member lived that kind of lifestyle, would it change your opinion of them?