unintentionally pissed off my neighbor with my new fence - need your opinion on resolution archived
Oct 5, 2010 at 11:10am
1. Probably, though you're not necessarily under any obligation as a result of said conversation.
2. Doubt it.
2. Doubt it.
As long as your fence is on your property and does not violate any regulations in your town you can just tell them to shove it.
If they want they can continue their fence on their property.
If they want they can continue their fence on their property.
thanks you guys...
ram -- the posts are definitely on the property line - i had a survey done prior to installation. also, the new posts are in the same location as the old posts...
ram -- the posts are definitely on the property line - i had a survey done prior to installation. also, the new posts are in the same location as the old posts...
1. Well... lesson learned, I guess. It wouldn't have hurt to feel them out on the subject. Now... are the posts on your side of the fence or theirs? I had thought that the rule was the fence owner (a) had the fence completely on their own property and (b) the posts would face inwards.
As far as hanging the old rotten fence up, I wouldn't. If the posts are on their side of the fence, I guess you could be a nice guy and allow them to hang fence sections on the posts... but it seems like that would create kind of a 'hollow wall' between the two fence surfaces that would allow debris to pile up and really rot things badly.
Its never a good idea to go to war with your neighbors if you can avoid it. So... do you have any relationship with them at all? If they're so pissed that they can't even talk to you things don't sound so great, to be honest.
As far as hanging the old rotten fence up, I wouldn't. If the posts are on their side of the fence, I guess you could be a nice guy and allow them to hang fence sections on the posts... but it seems like that would create kind of a 'hollow wall' between the two fence surfaces that would allow debris to pile up and really rot things badly.
Its never a good idea to go to war with your neighbors if you can avoid it. So... do you have any relationship with them at all? If they're so pissed that they can't even talk to you things don't sound so great, to be honest.
1) depends on your relationship with them previously. in the past, I have always told my neighbors what I was planning but more as a warning as opposed to asking for permission.
2) they might be able to take legal action but doubt that they can win or force you to remove a fence that meets the town's code.
of course if they continue to be so angry, maybe you will want to consider a higher fence.
2) they might be able to take legal action but doubt that they can win or force you to remove a fence that meets the town's code.
of course if they continue to be so angry, maybe you will want to consider a higher fence.
1. No
2. No, as long as you followed code and got permits and were OK'd by the town.
LOL!
2. No, as long as you followed code and got permits and were OK'd by the town.
Posted By: grilled weberof course if they continue to be so angry, maybe you will want to consider a higher fence.
LOL!
I just don't understand people. Yes, it would have been nice for you to just let your neighbors know that you were putting up a new fence but you were under no obligation to do so as long as it is on your property.
We used to have a really odd neighbor and we talked about splitting the cost of a fence along our joint property line. The next week we were a little stunned to see a fence installer putting in a white pvc fence but c'est la vie. I would never DREAM of then going over to my neighbor and getting angry about something they did on the property they own.
I would drop a nice handwritten note in their mailbox saying that you're sorry their panties are in a twist, you didn't realize they would get so upset but it is your property and you were within your rights to make improvements on it. And maybe draw a little smiley face or bake them some brownies.
I wouldn't let them hang the old fence.
We used to have a really odd neighbor and we talked about splitting the cost of a fence along our joint property line. The next week we were a little stunned to see a fence installer putting in a white pvc fence but c'est la vie. I would never DREAM of then going over to my neighbor and getting angry about something they did on the property they own.
I would drop a nice handwritten note in their mailbox saying that you're sorry their panties are in a twist, you didn't realize they would get so upset but it is your property and you were within your rights to make improvements on it. And maybe draw a little smiley face or bake them some brownies.
I wouldn't let them hang the old fence.
Posted By: elizI would drop a nice handwritten note in their mailbox saying that you're sorry their panties are in a twist, you didn't realize they would get so upset but it is your property and you were within your rights to make improvements on it.
:thumbup:
The nerve of some people never, ever ceases to amaze me. As if they should have any input or influence whatsoever over decisions you make about your own property! Do they also get their panties in a bunch over choices you make in raising your children? What you choose to eat for dinner? They just need to get over themselves.
stella, you say that the posts are on the line and in the same location as the old posts. In some areas a small setback is required from the property line when putting in a fence. The fact that they were there before means nothing today. Since you had a survey done I assume that the fence contractors pulled a permit for the fence?
StellaObella -- You replaced a 4' picket fence with a 6' board on board cedar fence.
Question -- Does Maplewood allow 6' fences in residential areas? If not, that 6' height might be something your neighbors could legitimately complain about.
Question -- Does Maplewood allow 6' fences in residential areas? If not, that 6' height might be something your neighbors could legitimately complain about.
I don't think it's a question of deserving input or influence, but a mere matter of courtesy even if the end result is a foregone conclusion.
Stella0Bella is in South Orange. 6 Foot is only okay on the back of the lot, I think. 4 feet on street side.
Posted By: maryannStellaObella -- You replaced a 4' picket fence with a 6' board on board cedar fence.
Question -- Does Maplewood allow 6' fences in residential areas? If not, that 6' height might be something your neighbors could legitimately complain about.
South Orange, where she lives, does, but they can't be solid all the way up. We put in a run of fence that was solid on the bottom and had lattice on top... I think it's 6' tall and has about a foot or so of lattice.\
eta: At least that's how I remember it... I could be wrong.
Oh these neighbor disputes are so annoying,aren't they?
As good practice usually fences should be erected inside, not ON your property line, but be that as it may, if your fence complies with the town codes and is not day-glo Pink, they are only quibbling about aesthetics. Personal taste is not a legal cause of action. You have the right to make lawful improvements to your property, and they have no right to make you undo those improvements just because it doesn't suit them. Chances are a dispute like this would get turned over to a non-lawyer mediation team. Judges and attorneys usually urge settlements of neighbor disputes,even if they are groundless.
Don't lawyer up just yet. If the facts are as you have stated them here, they probably have no case.
As good practice usually fences should be erected inside, not ON your property line, but be that as it may, if your fence complies with the town codes and is not day-glo Pink, they are only quibbling about aesthetics. Personal taste is not a legal cause of action. You have the right to make lawful improvements to your property, and they have no right to make you undo those improvements just because it doesn't suit them. Chances are a dispute like this would get turned over to a non-lawyer mediation team. Judges and attorneys usually urge settlements of neighbor disputes,even if they are groundless.
Don't lawyer up just yet. If the facts are as you have stated them here, they probably have no case.
In SO 6 feet is fine, permit not needed but you need zoning board approval. Stell, was totally within her rights as a homeowner. Heck, I was sick of staring at trash so we put up a big fence and neighbor wasn't happy. I didn't do it out of spite, I did it to improve our quality of life and view.
Posted By: ctrzaskaI don't think it's a question of deserving input or influence, but a mere matter of courtesy even if the end result is a foregone conclusion.
The neighbors seem to be objecting to the aesthetics of the new fence, not the fact that it was replaced. It seems to me that, unless the OP was going to change their mind about the kind/appearance of the new fence, a conversation beforehand would only mean the neighbor would get their panties in a wad sooner rather than later.
I could see they might be upset, but their current reaction is not what one would expect from a reasonable, rational adult. A petulant child, maybe. But not a grown up.
thank you guys!!
the interesting twist is that i did have a great relationship with my neighbors before the fence went in because they are my Brothers wife's PARENTS!!
it's hurtful that this has come between us.
i think they are more upset that they want to sell inthe near future and my improvements are driving down thier property value.
i did get a permit for the fence...
the interesting twist is that i did have a great relationship with my neighbors before the fence went in because they are my Brothers wife's PARENTS!!
it's hurtful that this has come between us.
i think they are more upset that they want to sell inthe near future and my improvements are driving down thier property value.
i did get a permit for the fence...
I nice new cedar fence is driving down their property value, but a rotting old fence wasn't?
Posted By: meandtheboysI nice new cedar fence is driving down their property value, but a rotting old fence wasn't?
LOL - they seem to think the rotten one looked better with the rest of their backyard...
Your sister in law's parents???? Perhaps a copy of one of my favorite Robert Frost poems:
Mending Wall
Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That sends the frozen-ground-swell under it,
And spills the upper boulders in the sun,
And makes gaps even two can pass abreast.
The work of hunters is another thing:
I have come after them and made repair
Where they have left not one stone on a stone,
But they would have the rabbit out of hiding,
To please the yelping dogs. The gaps I mean,
No one has seen them made or heard them made,
But at spring mending-time we find them there.
I let my neighbor know beyond the hill;
And on a day we meet to walk the line
And set the wall between us once again.
We keep the wall between us as we go.
To each the boulders that have fallen to each.
And some are loaves and some so nearly balls
We have to use a spell to make them balance:
'Stay where you are until our backs are turned!'
We wear our fingers rough with handling them.
Oh, just another kind of out-door game,
One on a side. It comes to little more:
There where it is we do not need the wall:
He is all pine and I am apple orchard.
My apple trees will never get across
And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him.
He only says, 'Good fences make good neighbors'.
Spring is the mischief in me, and I wonder
If I could put a notion in his head:
'Why do they make good neighbors? Isn't it
Where there are cows?
But here there are no cows.
Before I built a wall I'd ask to know
What I was walling in or walling out,
And to whom I was like to give offence.
Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That wants it down.' I could say 'Elves' to him,
But it's not elves exactly, and I'd rather
He said it for himself. I see him there
Bringing a stone grasped firmly by the top
In each hand, like an old-stone savage armed.
He moves in darkness as it seems to me~
Not of woods only and the shade of trees.
He will not go behind his father's saying,
And he likes having thought of it so well
He says again, "Good fences make good neighbors."
Mending Wall
Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That sends the frozen-ground-swell under it,
And spills the upper boulders in the sun,
And makes gaps even two can pass abreast.
The work of hunters is another thing:
I have come after them and made repair
Where they have left not one stone on a stone,
But they would have the rabbit out of hiding,
To please the yelping dogs. The gaps I mean,
No one has seen them made or heard them made,
But at spring mending-time we find them there.
I let my neighbor know beyond the hill;
And on a day we meet to walk the line
And set the wall between us once again.
We keep the wall between us as we go.
To each the boulders that have fallen to each.
And some are loaves and some so nearly balls
We have to use a spell to make them balance:
'Stay where you are until our backs are turned!'
We wear our fingers rough with handling them.
Oh, just another kind of out-door game,
One on a side. It comes to little more:
There where it is we do not need the wall:
He is all pine and I am apple orchard.
My apple trees will never get across
And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him.
He only says, 'Good fences make good neighbors'.
Spring is the mischief in me, and I wonder
If I could put a notion in his head:
'Why do they make good neighbors? Isn't it
Where there are cows?
But here there are no cows.
Before I built a wall I'd ask to know
What I was walling in or walling out,
And to whom I was like to give offence.
Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That wants it down.' I could say 'Elves' to him,
But it's not elves exactly, and I'd rather
He said it for himself. I see him there
Bringing a stone grasped firmly by the top
In each hand, like an old-stone savage armed.
He moves in darkness as it seems to me~
Not of woods only and the shade of trees.
He will not go behind his father's saying,
And he likes having thought of it so well
He says again, "Good fences make good neighbors."
Perhaps,if they are disturbed by the lack of uniformity, you can provide them with information about your new fence, and they can have the same type installed.
Holymoly is right:people are nuts.
If you want to feel better about this, I can regale you with stories of my neighbors who hauled me into court because the leaves from my trees fell into their pool.
Holymoly is right:people are nuts.
If you want to feel better about this, I can regale you with stories of my neighbors who hauled me into court because the leaves from my trees fell into their pool.
calli -- yes, the lack of uniformity pisses them off, but even if i put up the same fence as before it doesn't change the fact that the rest of thier fence is rotten also and therefore would not match either...
i did offer the business card where i bought the fence, but they didn't like that i assumed they were in a position to replace thier fence just because i did. sigh... i don't think there is anything i can say to make the situation better. this should make for some interesting holidays!
are you serious??? they took you to court over leaves in their pool?? LOL people are nuts!!
i did offer the business card where i bought the fence, but they didn't like that i assumed they were in a position to replace thier fence just because i did. sigh... i don't think there is anything i can say to make the situation better. this should make for some interesting holidays!
are you serious??? they took you to court over leaves in their pool?? LOL people are nuts!!
Let them have the old wooden fence to hang. It will make them feel better, and it's no skin off your back. It shows you care how they feel--even if you're within your rights.
Oct 5, 2010 at 12:49pm Edited
meand - Fair enough. I just think speaking first to them, regardless of whether or not you give a crap about their opinion, puts me on the high road from the start. The neighbors may still act like petulant children (as in this case-- wow) but at least I wouldn't hear their childish gripes with my chin up high (attorney? puh-lease). Further to your point, if they feel THAT strongly about the aesthetics maybe they could have offered to pony up the cash for a different fence.
ETA: I just adore Frost.
ETA: I just adore Frost.
Despite the fact that you are probably totally within your legal rights, the fact that this is sort of "extended family" really makes this complicated. It's not over. In the interest of family harmony, it might be worth your apologizing for not extending them the courtesy of your telling them this was going to happen before it did. In other words, don't apologize for or get into your right to put up the fence. Just let them know you are sorry you sprung this on them. You could increase the value of your mea culpa (which may win you some points with your hopefully more rational sister-in=law if not with her parents) with something you know they'd ordinarily appreciate - great cookies, wine, fruit basket, whatever.
Oct 5, 2010 at 1:28pm Edited
Posted By: soresidentYou could increase the value of your mea culpa (which may win you some points with your hopefully more rational sister-in=law if not with her parents) with something you know they'd ordinarily appreciate
Great idea! Wrap up the old rotting fence you took down and drop it off next door so they can put it back up on their side. "So sorry we took this down without asking first. Please, you have it. Love, Stella"
orzabelle,
I don't want to hijack Stella's thread.I'll start a new one in Virtual Cafe later this evening. My stories are doozies,but I'd love to hear others.
Calli
I don't want to hijack Stella's thread.I'll start a new one in Virtual Cafe later this evening. My stories are doozies,but I'd love to hear others.
Calli
You can not reply as this discussion is Closed!
Sponsored Business
Promote your business here - Businesses get highlighted throughout the site and you can add a deal.
For Sale
Free Items
Advertisement
i am in between two houses. all of us have small backyards (in south orange)
my nieghbor on the right is pissed because i chose a different style than what i had before. my new fence no longer matches their backyard fence...
because my new fence is board on board, there is not "good" or "bad" side to the fence, but they are not happy they can see the posts?
they want me to hang my old rotten fence back up on the other side of my new fence (which can be done) so that thier backyard will have the same fence all the way around. they have the picket style on the back and right sides of thier property.
i don't think they will realize how awful it will look? they are so pissed that they can't even talk to me about it.
i really didn't think the new fence would piss them off or that i even had to discuss my new fence option with them since i was paying for it and the fence clearly needed replacement.
my questions are::
1. was it inconsiderate of me to not consult them about my new fence choice prior to installation?
2. can they take legal action on me? (there was mention of "talking to their attorney")
i appreciate your advice