Teen Learners Permit

Is this still the big deal it was when I was a teen 25-30 yrs ago? I remember typically we went on our birthdays we were so excited. Do many teens put it off now?

Asking because nephew turns 17 in 3 months, could have had his permit since last June. He doesn't have any interest. My mother got him the book to study and has asked him a few times if he wants to go. Generally, we get a non-committal " I don't know". She tried again today, saying spots were available this week and she'd love to take him and that he could sign up for drivers ed that starts in a few weeks at school. He says he doesn't want to go. He's a pretty unmotivated kid and doesn't like to do much but this just seems so odd to me. I don't get it. Normal for teens today?

and, since I am sure it'll come up, no I haven't conveyed to him I find it odd. And, No, no one is making him feel bad or setting expectations. When he says "no", we just say okay. I once added if he's nervous, we'd pay for drivers Ed until he felt comfortable and I also once said not to worry about insurance $ or buying a car, if those were his concerns. 

I am just wondering for my own knowledge. His disinterest in things makes me sad ( and concerned)

One big difference between back in the day and now is that there is no driving without a parent until age 17. It used to be that you got your learners permit and then drove with a parent until you took and passed  the driver's test, at which point you could drive alone.

My guess is that most kids aren't too excited about driving around with their parents.

so, from your experience, teens don't bother with the permit at 16 today? That it is no longer typical to be excited and rush out to get it? Looking for people with teens right now to weigh in on how big of a deal this is to them.

He wouldn't be the only one...my 16 year old took the course, passed the test, and took the required professional driving lessons, but is showing very little interest or commitment to getting out to practice with a parent.  She just doesn't seem to want it badly enough to push forward, and I don't need her to be able to drive, so am just enjoying not yet driving up our insurance costs.  

Overall, I've seen statistics that license percentages for teens/young adults are down, so it may not just be the kids we know best.

okay, that's somewhat reassuring. Thanks

Is he disinterested in 'things' or just this one thing?  I knew a number of people that delayed getting their license...some because the family couldn't afford having a teen on their insurance, a couple had learning disabilities, some just didn't want the responsibility......if a kid feels he can always get a ride from a parent or friend, they may feel there is no need to get a license.

Is this in NJ?  don't all schools have the kids take the classroom portion and written test?

Suggest to him that if he wants, he can get a permit, try out driving and then decide if he wants to actually take the road test.

If he really doesn't have interest in anything and is just moping around, that is a sign of depression....but being overly active is also a sign of depression as some depressed people have to keep active to avoid the bad feelings.

disinterested in most things. Always has been somewhat unemotional and detached but the disinterest thing is worse lately. Not new behavior but, even so, yes, certainly may be a sign of depression. It's why I am asking.  I thought this one - the driving- might spark some at least basic interest since it is so exciting to most teens ( at least, so I thought). He knows not to worry about insurance or cost of a car and he knows he has access to drivers Ed ( so doesn't have to rely on anyone to teach him). His driving is not needed so I'm not pushing it too hard but it concerns me he has no interest. The rides part isn't much of an issue either as he rarely asks to go anywhere. The answer to why he has no interest is always "mdntknow" and a shrug when asked. 

it would be a good idea to get him to talk to a therapist to see if there is more going on...don't accept a quick diagnosis and I wouldn't want to try meds--not right away..until you can be sure it is something that could be medicated....he might just be an introspective person that enjoys being alone with his own thoughts.

you mention your mother (his grandmother) and you...and no parents...if there was some issue with his parents..even if he never really knew them, that could cause his mood....and if a parent had a mental health issue, that does put him at a higher risk biologically....even with wonderful grandparents/other guardians raising a child, even the knowledge of parental issues could cause stress.

if he chooses not to pursue a license, he really should get a non driver ID from the motor vehicle office once he is 18

I guess you've missed many, many of my recent posts about his parents.

I'd love to hear from other parents of teens about the driver's license specifically. 

I've noticed this among my kids and their friends.  First kid put it off for awhile, although she did get her permit at some point before her 17th birthday and got her license about six months after that birthday.  Other kids did the permit a little sooner and got her license on her 17th birthday, but many of her friends didn't and some still haven't (and they are now pushing 21.)

okay, thanks. I think I won't consider this particular issue as huge of a big deal as I thought it might be. 

My youngest took her test for her permit in school and signed up for the six hour permit instruction with a driving school, practiced with me until her 17th birthday and had a brush up course the morning of her birthday followed by an afternoon driving test....which she passed. Never looked back...lol The older one took and passed the permit test at CHS, let it lapse and took it again at 18, road test at 19. She didn't seem to care about driving...wasn't like she was going to be gifted a car. Lol  

ps Younger daughter saved and bought her own car in time to have after passing road test. 

My granddaughter couldn't wait to get her license, passed the test on her 17th birthday, and now, at 19, has her own standard shift car which she drives back and forth from college in upstate NY.  Eighteen year old grandson, who lives in Brooklyn, doesn't seem all that eager to get his license; he takes the subway everywhere, although he does know how to drive.  Maybe next year when he goes to college, he'll get his license.  

I do remember reading somewhere that many teens these days aren't as interested in driving as their parents were.  I remember that my own sons lived for the day they could drive.  The younger one said that "life wouldn't be worth living" if he didn't pass his road test (he passed it!).

I think it really varies! Some of our kids' friends dashed to Motor Vehicles the second they were eligible; others weren't in any rush at all. I think it is largely because teens don't need to drive much around here; they can be pretty independent without getting behind the wheel, so it's less of a priority.

Actually, there's been some research on this (sorry, I can't cite specifics, but there was a recent NPR story on this topic.)

Apparently, there's been a statistical significant  decline in the number of teens who drive and/or who get there license.

Personally, my daughter delayed it. She got her license after turning 18 and got her permit at about 16 1/2. One issue for her was that she was very busy academically and very focused on the whole college application process. She just felt that she didn't have time to practice driving and it wasn't her priority, until it was.

Keep in mind, the results of the written test expire when the teen turns 18. This was a bit of a surprise when my daughter showed up for her road test and was told she had to retake the written test. (She sat for 30 minutes, reviewed the manual and took the right there at the DMV; then got back in the car for her road test.) 

thanks all

When I was in high school some friends were chomping at the bit to get a permit and then their license as quickly as possible, others (myself included) waited a bit.  I didn't get my driver's license until I was 19. The guy I was dating in high school managed to schedule the road test for the day he turned 17 (I don't know if you still have to wait until 17 any longer, this was back in the 90's). One friend didn't get his until his mid 20's. My point is, we all ended up as licensed drivers, just not on the same timetable.   

i don't recall anyone in HS in suburbia back in my day (30 yes ago) wanting to wait. It was everything to us then. That's why I was asking. I'm not concerned he won't ever get it, just wanted to see if this was a huge big deal to teens today the way it was to me and my HS. It seems it's not.

spontaneous said:

When I was in high school some friends were chomping at the bit to get a permit and then their license as quickly as possible, others (myself included) waited a bit.  I didn't get my driver's license until I was 19. The guy I was dating in high school managed to schedule the road test for the day he turned 17 (I don't know if you still have to wait until 17 any longer, this was back in the 90's). One friend didn't get his until his mid 20's. My point is, we all ended up as licensed drivers, just not on the same timetable.   

Yes, still 17 in NJ.