Teen fashion - Bat Mitzvah attire archived
Apr 8, 2011 at 6:39am
why don't you try West Village the former teenage wasteland
it is up on Ridgewood road next to the cupcake corral
teens and their moms love the store great prices as well!
it is up on Ridgewood road next to the cupcake corral
teens and their moms love the store great prices as well!
Apr 8, 2011 at 6:59am Edited
Pdg - oh, goodness, no! Not for a 12 year-old. It's mindboggling what these girls think passes for appropriate. Eek!
As shh mentioned, I did start a thread on this very topic (except my daughter is 14) and there were lots of good recommendations before it devolved into some weird shoe discussion:
http://www.southorangevillage.com/vc/comments.php?DiscussionID=66818&page=1#Item_1
I wound up getting a dress at Bloomingdale's. Depending on your daughter's size, you could probably find something in the kids department (surprisingly, or maybe not, there's a good selection of more sophisticated attire there).
As shh mentioned, I did start a thread on this very topic (except my daughter is 14) and there were lots of good recommendations before it devolved into some weird shoe discussion:
http://www.southorangevillage.com/vc/comments.php?DiscussionID=66818&page=1#Item_1
I wound up getting a dress at Bloomingdale's. Depending on your daughter's size, you could probably find something in the kids department (surprisingly, or maybe not, there's a good selection of more sophisticated attire there).
I went there looking for a dress a few weeks ago for my tween. Merchandise was predominately Target brands. I was very disappointed in the selection and prices. I don't know what happened, we used to enjoy picking up a few things there. Honestly, I don't think there has been much merchandise turnover since I was last there a year or so ago.
Posted By: shhI went there looking for a dress a few weeks ago for my tween.
You are not referring to Bloomingdale's, I presume? :wink:
I do remember that thread (and participated after it went shoe-ward)!
What I'd really love to see are pictures of what MOL daughters have worn/are wearing to Bar and Bat Mitzvah parties these days! I think I'm going to need some real-life ammunition to convince my daughter to redirect her choice of style!
Would anyone be willing to post pictures of their daughters dressed for Sweet 16 parties or B'nai Mitzvah parties - maybe without their faces showing to protect their privacy?
I'll definitely swing by that consignment store by Milk Money. I found that Bloomingdale's kids dept carries very little in size 14. The size XL dresses we bought from there last year are all too short this year. We had started to shop in the junior dept in Nordstrom, but even the XS dresses hang on her in the bust/armhole area.
I actually have this cutie little dress in her closet, with the Nordstrom tag still on it, thinking if she outgrew it before she was invited to a party I'd just take it back. I guess this will never do in her mind. I was thinking she'd also wear a little shrug during the services and some black shoes with a short heel.
Would your daughters wear this to a Bat Mitzvah party?
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/sara-sara-multicolored-sequin-tank-dress-big-girls/3119930?origin=category&siteId=J84DHJLQkR4-HKRzDMjxj4Rswu8AGxmtsg
What I'd really love to see are pictures of what MOL daughters have worn/are wearing to Bar and Bat Mitzvah parties these days! I think I'm going to need some real-life ammunition to convince my daughter to redirect her choice of style!
Would anyone be willing to post pictures of their daughters dressed for Sweet 16 parties or B'nai Mitzvah parties - maybe without their faces showing to protect their privacy?
I'll definitely swing by that consignment store by Milk Money. I found that Bloomingdale's kids dept carries very little in size 14. The size XL dresses we bought from there last year are all too short this year. We had started to shop in the junior dept in Nordstrom, but even the XS dresses hang on her in the bust/armhole area.
I actually have this cutie little dress in her closet, with the Nordstrom tag still on it, thinking if she outgrew it before she was invited to a party I'd just take it back. I guess this will never do in her mind. I was thinking she'd also wear a little shrug during the services and some black shoes with a short heel.
Would your daughters wear this to a Bat Mitzvah party?
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/sara-sara-multicolored-sequin-tank-dress-big-girls/3119930?origin=category&siteId=J84DHJLQkR4-HKRzDMjxj4Rswu8AGxmtsg
My daughter would have worn that, I think, to some of the earlier B'nai Mitzvot to which she was invited.
The girls department in Bloomingdale's surprised me. We found a perfect dress in size 14 (kids) that my daughter wore to her Friday night service. The only catch was that she could wear it for about 4 hours, then it was too short.
The girls department in Bloomingdale's surprised me. We found a perfect dress in size 14 (kids) that my daughter wore to her Friday night service. The only catch was that she could wear it for about 4 hours, then it was too short.
Posted By: essYou are not referring to Bloomingdale's, I presume?
No, I was referring to the consignment shop. I hate to even say it, but it was a big waste of time. Well, little waste of time. For t-shirts and jeans it might be ok, or maybe they will have more dresses as prom gets closer.
PDG, I will find a pic of my girls at a bar mitzvah we attended a few years ago. In desperation, the night before I took my then 11 year old (I think) to Macy's in Essex Green and found an adorable one shoulder dress on sale in a 0 or double 0. I just pinned the one shoulder up a little and it looked adorable. (She is very lanky.) Are you still on FB? I can tag you in the pic.
OK, none of the pics show the dress that clearly, but my girls do not wear such tight dresses. Most of the dresses they wear are a little fuller on the bottom. Not necessarily poufy though.
It occurs to me that I can look in my daughter's closet and see what's still there. She's almost as tall as I am now, so most of what she wore to B'nai Mitzvot would be too short.
as a mom of sons, i should probably stay out of this, but i had to laugh at the (pretty, but inappropriate) dress in the first post. looks like a negotiating position to me! :smile:
good luck and enjoy!
ps, i really like the black sequined dress. is that the one in the closet?
good luck and enjoy!
ps, i really like the black sequined dress. is that the one in the closet?
Yes, the black sequined one was on sale a month or so ago and i snapped it up after confirming with the sales clerk that I could bring it back in the future if she never ended up wearing it and the tag with the sticker was still on it.
I was happily surprised when my daughter agreed to try it on and then said she loved it and couldn't wait to wear it! Of course, that was before she got together with her friends and was influenced by what she found on the internet. (It is appalling what comes up when you google "Bat Mitzvah dress" or "Sweet 16 dress"! So unhelpful.)
Oh, and since my daughter's favorite color is yellow, she is fixated on wearing a yellow dress. Especially after I told her that with her coloring, yellow would not be as flattering as a darker color. (sigh)
I was happily surprised when my daughter agreed to try it on and then said she loved it and couldn't wait to wear it! Of course, that was before she got together with her friends and was influenced by what she found on the internet. (It is appalling what comes up when you google "Bat Mitzvah dress" or "Sweet 16 dress"! So unhelpful.)
Oh, and since my daughter's favorite color is yellow, she is fixated on wearing a yellow dress. Especially after I told her that with her coloring, yellow would not be as flattering as a darker color. (sigh)
All I can say is "...Let the games begin!" you mothers of middle schoolers! 12/13 and Bar Mitzvahs are an *interesting* time. We're not Jewish, but my kid was invited to a number of them. It's true that some girls (and of course the parents who fund them) show up in what looks like night club or prom attire. Effect depends a lot on the physical maturity and body type of the girl. The coltish, still flatchested skinny girls can wear that stuff and look almost winsome. The more developed (as we used to say) or zaftig, totally different.
To me, part of the challenge is talking nicely about your daughter's body type, and what looks both flattering and trendy. I honestly don't think there's any one answer to this stuff, except: Bloomingdales. I don't know what magic that store has but I swear, even in the lower price points (not all the way to Target, but) it is the only store that reliably had cool, appropriate dresses for my 5'2" well-endowed daughter. Even in yellow.
To me, part of the challenge is talking nicely about your daughter's body type, and what looks both flattering and trendy. I honestly don't think there's any one answer to this stuff, except: Bloomingdales. I don't know what magic that store has but I swear, even in the lower price points (not all the way to Target, but) it is the only store that reliably had cool, appropriate dresses for my 5'2" well-endowed daughter. Even in yellow.
I am in the same boat. The size thing is a problem as my daughter can wear a size 14 in some things and a junior XS or size 0 or 1 in others. So, it is a middle transition sizing place. The other obstacle, though, is that she is firmly refusing to shop in the girls department. I order basic things online from the gap/old navy girls sections in size 14, and she happily wears them, but she will not be seen shopping in that section. So I was just looking online at party dresses for juniors and I want to know why everything is strapless!!!???!!! This is going to be a challenging experience, but I do think that once they are in the fitting room they go for the more flattering styles and colors.... right?
We bought my daughter's Bat Mitzvah dress at Gotham in Millburn. It was very appropriate, not too pouf-y and they suggested a little sweather to wear over it for temple. There's also a shop on Livingston Ave. in Livingston, just before Northfield (I forget the name) that practically specializes in Bat Mitzvah dresses -- for the Bat Mitzvah girl or the guest. And they are appropriate --not too tight, cleavage-baring, etc.
I got MY bat mitzvah dresses at Nita's ideas in Milburn, the store is still there, and she makes awesome and unique clothing. http://www.nitaideas.com/
This is what my daughter is wearing this weekend to a Bat mitzvah. She is wearing wedge sandals and I got her a small shrug in case she needs it for the temple. We got it at Black Market/White House in Short Hills mall, which is not a store I usually go in. We had no luck in the regular places. I pretty much nixed everything strapless because she would spend half her time pulling her top up especially if she were dancing.
Apr 8, 2011 at 8:26am Edited
Kids at Heart is the store at the corner of Northfield and Livingston Ave, andI have gotten wonderful dresses for my daughter there. Here are examples from bat mitzvot (first one is halter dress with shrug):
Strapless is very "in." Actually, I allowed it on one occasion in 7th grade because it came up quite high, was stretchy with full skirt and quite modest. One good solution is to allow it but a light weight shrug. So many of these, lacey, loose sweatery etc. Some dresses (strapless and spaghetti strap) seem to come with them even.
My bete noire was "bling" of any kind, gaudy/shiny stuff, and things that were too tight (think American Apparel).
My bete noire was "bling" of any kind, gaudy/shiny stuff, and things that were too tight (think American Apparel).
The good thing about her being my size is that I can wear some of her stuff. Of course, she weighs about 100lbs and I weigh 120, so I would have to spanx my way into most of her stuff, while she just looks a little baggy in mine.
What struck me is that the top would like nice on any chest type. We had a lot of trouble with that, first me explaining the effect of certain cuts, and then a lot of trial and error. Some halters and cuts like your dress seem to work for everyone. What's the fabric?
My kid and I are absolutely opposite body types so it was quite an education for me helping her shop. Now I kind of have it down on what looks good on short curvy girls without being uber Kim Kardashian.
My kid and I are absolutely opposite body types so it was quite an education for me helping her shop. Now I kind of have it down on what looks good on short curvy girls without being uber Kim Kardashian.
Posted By: ralWe bought my daughter's Bat Mitzvah dress at Gotham in Millburn.
Not to get into a thing, but I hate that store. I mean, hate.
We also bought my daughter's Bat Mitzvah party dress there. It needed some alterations. It's a beautiful dress, really, and, much to my surprise, it was quite reasonably priced. However, once the powers that be and the seamstress got wind of our interest, they pinned it up lickety-split, dashed off an estimate for the alterations, and, wouldn't you know it, the cost of the alterations exceeded the cost of the dress.
Now, of course, we didn't HAVE to buy it, but given that (as is my style) it was close to last minute, and I'd taken my daughter pretty much everywhere else (including Kids at Heart, which gave me a rash), and the dress really was lovely, I did. I just felt super ripped off.
We got the service dress at Bloomingdale's too, come to think of it. That was stunning.
Apr 8, 2011 at 9:44am Edited
I got my bat mitzvah dress from Macys. It was hard to find one that wasnt strapless. A lot of girls wore strapless dresses.
Ess, I have to agree with you about Gotham...the scene just pushes me over the edge...nobody should be that entitled! PDG...do yourself a favor go to Kids at Heart. Buy 3 or 4 outfits that will take your daughter through the BM season. You can fill in with some reasonable priced things from Target, Macy's, Nordstrom BP (upstairs dept) has some VERY reasonable items. For Saturday night parties, buy one or two more special dresses and be done. I have always said that a wonderful thing would be to have a tween consignment sale in middle school and let the girls from the previous year sell their dresses and other BM outfits to the class under them.
Apr 8, 2011 at 10:39am Edited
Posted By: pdg
Especially after I told her that with her coloring, yellow would not be as flattering as a darker color. (sigh)
It took me a couple of years to realize this and luckily my mother was always willing to take me to a mall and show me how bad yellow looked on me when I got in a frenzy about not owning anything yellow (my favorite clothing color). I would take her to the top floor of bloomingdales or the juicy couture entrance of macys as they have a vast dress selection of many colors and have her try on dresses in the color that you like and the color that she likes, more often than not her vanity will win over her love of the yellow dress. Also try on dresses in different styles as it will help you guys figure out what looks good on her. I remember I was trying on dresses for a graduation and there was a young girl looking for a bat mitzvah dress in the stall next to me. She spent the entire time trying on the same tight/ruched/spandex/short dress in slightly different variations of length, color, and ruching. She started crying because she looked "Terrible in all of the dresses that she tried on", when essentially she was trying on the same dress over and over again. The girl was shaped like a box and to pull something off like that you have to have a well defined waist (and be blind... those dresses are hideous). You never said whether it was a formal event or not so that changes what is appropriate but here are my suggestions.
1) the dress needs straps. She will be pulling at it the entire time if she does not have straps, it is a religious event so you should be respectful to that, and she is not even 13 years old yet. However a wide one strapped dress could work, Like this one (although it may be too short depending on her height):
One Shoulder
2) It has to be around knee length (2-3 inches above or below is fine) for religious and age reasons. I recently tried this dress on at JCrew and as 5'6 it was ridiculously long on me but on this extra tall model you can see the difference in feel that the knee length dress has to the dress above:
Knee Length
3)The strapless rule can be overlooked if it is cotton blend and/or floral print but their MUST be a cardigan.
4) Sequins are OK, but NO rhinestones (this is more of a personal preference)
I think an appropriate bat mitvah dress is given the theme, would you where this to a family wedding where all your relatives would be in attendance? If so, you are probably dressed appropriately, if not then you have probably gone overboard.
This all being said, I really like Maggy London Dresses at Nordstrom's, they have great silhouettes and cover up enough to be decent. Depending on the dress you could also tone it down and where it as an everyday dress.
Runaway's post reminds me that there should be a "What Not to Wear-Teen Edition" show. When you're 12-15, you so want to wear whatever the heck "everyone" else is wearing, whether it suits you or not. It's hard to learn what looks good on you, not blame your body type and so on. If all the in girls are tall and thin with long hair, that's what girls try to emulate whether their hair looks good long or not (and a lot doesn't) or whether their body type looks its best in a short ruched dress.*sigh*
And girls don't often listen to their mothers on this stuff, and often their friends are too roundabout when asked.
And girls don't often listen to their mothers on this stuff, and often their friends are too roundabout when asked.
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Have a looksee - http://d23gkft280ngn0.cloudfront.net/regular/2011%20Prom%20Dresses%20Hannah%20S%2027617-F-009.jpg
Right?!?!
I feel compelled to take her shopping to find a dress that is appropriate, but that she hopefully will be happy to wear. Where do I find relatively modest, yet fashionable options that aren't too little girl but are appropriate for a about-to-be 12 year old girl?