Little boys and toenail polish archived

My four year old son and his best bud wear fingernail polish now and then. It's only a big deal if you make it one. If he's teased, then as his dad, I'd let him know that I love him no matter what and that's what counts at the end of the day. It's a phase, so my humble advice is not to turn it into a "thing" at home.

I wouldn't want my kid to tease someone for being different, so I see it as part of fostering that value right at home. As you said, it's just nail polish. He's not hurting himself or anybody else.

I don't share your concerns, but I'm not judging you for having them. Don't be worried - let your kid be a kid.

My 6 year old boy loves having "pretty toes". My husband hates it, I find it harmless. Your kid is not the only little guy running around with toenail polish, I think most of them get it from their sisters. I wouldn't worry about it, I see my son doing it less and less as he gets older, and I am sure he will eventually outgrow it. We try to get my son to wear more "manly" colors like blue or dark brown rather than sparkly pink, but some days he just wants sparkles.

Not again!

project37 said:

My four year old son and his best bud wear fingernail polish now and then. It's only a big deal if you make it one. If he's teased, then as his dad, I'd let him know that I love him no matter what and that's what counts at the end of the day. It's a phase, so my humble advice is not to turn it into a "thing" at home.

I wouldn't want my kid to tease someone for being different, so I see it as part of fostering that value right at home. As you said, it's just nail polish. He's not hurting himself or anybody else.

I don't share your concerns, but I'm not judging you for having them. Don't be worried - let your kid be a kid.

The best advice.

campbell29 said:

My 6 year old boy loves having "pretty toes". My husband hates it, I find it harmless. Your kid is not the only little guy running around with toenail polish, I think most of them get it from their sisters. I wouldn't worry about it, I see my son doing it less and less as he gets older, and I am sure he will eventually outgrow it. We try to get my son to wear more "manly" colors like blue or dark brown rather than sparkly pink, but some days he just wants sparkles.

LOL, Campbell29! This morning our colors started with gold, black, light blue, dark blue and red...one on each toe. But after some reflection we decided to go with more somber colors...black and dark blue with one gold toe on each foot.

Can I also add that I'm worried he'll use up all my Chanel Peridot gold nail polish?

Pippi's 4 year old kid wears it on his fingernails. Its cool! Let it go!

Oldstone said:

project37 said:

My four year old son and his best bud wear fingernail polish now and then. It's only a big deal if you make it one. If he's teased, then as his dad, I'd let him know that I love him no matter what and that's what counts at the end of the day. It's a phase, so my humble advice is not to turn it into a "thing" at home.

I wouldn't want my kid to tease someone for being different, so I see it as part of fostering that value right at home. As you said, it's just nail polish. He's not hurting himself or anybody else.

I don't share your concerns, but I'm not judging you for having them. Don't be worried - let your kid be a kid.

The best advice.

Yes, I agree. I know I'm making more of an issue of this than it needs to be.

Adults making this an issue isn't the potential problem.

Yep. No matter what, he is going to do something as he grows up which will get him teased or make him feel different. Whether it is gender identity, sexual identity, always being picked last for teams in gym or gets rejected by a girl he likes. It's going to happen.

IIRC, you have older kids, so you know this already. You also know that the most important thing is that he knows that at home, he is in a safe, non-judgmental place to talk about. And that you love him no matter what.

So I've heard.

My four year old grandson loves the whole manicure idea - we oil his cuticles, we lotion and massage his hands, we "shine" his nails - all with the stuff I bought from the guy at the mall who convinced me I needed this kit for beautiful nail health - so far, the grandson hasn't asked for polish, but if he wanted it, I'd do it.

ctrzaska said:

Adults making this an issue isn't the potential problem.

I agree, but he's due to show up and post something about the imminent end of western society anyway (it's been at least a week), so why worry about it?

Nobody has teased my kid yet. I figure when that happens, he will probably not want to paint his toes anymore. I don't think it will scar him in any way. Its not like he would be teased for something he can't help (like being short).

Nail polish on boys is kinda rock and roll. Let him enjoy expressing himself.

The really good thing about allowing him to do this is that as he becomes more verbal he will be more likely to share with you other things he is thinking about. He won't be as likely feel that some topics are automatically off-limits because of your potential disapproval. He will know that his thoughts and feelings are more important to you than social approval. I've been amazed at some of the conversations my 15 year old and I have been able to have. Things I could never, never have imagined speaking with my mother about. We set a lot of limits but mostly in areas involving safety and responsibility. And when it comes to things like appearance, if I set a limit I explain clearly why. For example, "provocative" clothing can send unintended sexual messages to people. I get explicit about how others may interpret the messages and what my concerns for my kid are.

There is an excellent book I am reading now called Raising Children Who Think for Themselves. I highly recommend it.

I wonder if youth culture is just more evolved than I (we) give it credit for? My son says that some of his friends have painted their nails. Rockers like Dave Navarro, Steve Tyler and Pete Wentz wear black fingernail polish.

Is it possible that I've jumped the shark and actually become my MOTHER?

June Cleaver !

Doesn't seem like a big deal to me. Worst that's going to happen is someone will tease him with something like "nail polish is for girls!," and that's likely to lead to a good discussion, if nothing else.

nakaille said:

The really good thing about allowing him to do this is that as he becomes more verbal he will be more likely to share with you other things he is thinking about. He won't be as likely feel that some topics are automatically off-limits because of your potential disapproval. He will know that his thoughts and feelings are more important to you than social approval. I've been amazed at some of the conversations my 15 year old and I have been able to have. Things I could never, never have imagined speaking with my mother about. We set a lot of limits but mostly in areas involving safety and responsibility. And when it comes to things like appearance, if I set a limit I explain clearly why. For example, "provocative" clothing can send unintended sexual messages to people. I get explicit about how others may interpret the messages and what my concerns for my kid are.

There is an excellent book I am reading now called Raising Children Who Think for Themselves. I highly recommend it.

That's pretty much the same thing my sister said. She said that how we handle this will inform how he shares with us in the future. This is precisely why I'm doing my best to be laisez-fare about this. If he thinks a discussion of mere nail polish is off-limits, I can't imagine he'd want to share the really scary stuff.

And, thanks, I'll check that book out.

And they wear "guyliner."

Long hair was the big issue in the late 60's-early 70's. Parents, especially fathers, were very concerned about their sons having long (meaning shoulder length) hair. If elementary school age, the whole being mistaken for a girl. If high school, some of the same, but also homosexual (not all that accepted then) or a pot-smoking, wimpy anti-war person.

To me, the nail polish on boys is the same thing, an exploration, a fashion and not a big deal. Hey, not long ago even a single earlobe stud on a guy signalled the end of the world. Now they're wearing two, sometimes large.

This conversation reminded me of a Tide commercial that I happened to see last night. It had a really uptight mom who was all bent out of shape about her little girl wearing camouflage hoodies and playing with blocks. She was all disappointed that Tide kept the clothes clean after a crayons-in-pocket washing machine disaster. I found myself getting really annoyed at this commercial. I looked it up after seeing this thread and found out that I wasn't the only one:

http://www.salon.com/entertainment/tv/feature/2011/08/10/tide_advertising
http://jezebel.com/5829421/mom-laments-daughters-tomboy-style-in-tide-ad

Hahaha said:

I wonder if youth culture is just more evolved than I (we) give it credit for? My son says that some of his friends have painted their nails. Rockers like Dave Navarro, Steve Tyler and Pete Wentz wear black fingernail polish.

Is it possible that I've jumped the shark and actually become my MOTHER?

If you have to ask...

okay as an aunt of a kid who not only polishes his toenails, he does his fingernails too, has long hair and will wear make up if you let him, what is it you're really worried about? my nephew does not like the typical 'boy' things, he likes the typical 'girl' things.

while his brother loves to go to sporting events and fishing with my brother, he'd rather stay home and play with his barbies with his sisters or bake with his grandmother. when given the chance he always picks out girl things to buy in the store. has no interest in tucks. so what. it is who he is.

the thought he might be gay has crossed my brother's mind. he even asked my mom what the rest of us thought if he were gay. our response was "so what, if he is, he is." is this what you're really afraid of?

btw he is eight.

Last year, my son was told to wear an orange shirt to school. All the grades were told to wear a different color for a rainbow photo to be taken on the playground. One boy he is friends with in his class came in wearing a peach-colored shirt, and my son unhappily told me his friend was ribbed all day long for it. There will be incidents for much less than nail polish.

Our culture will tell your son what it means to be a man soon enough - directly and indirectly. Hopefully your open mind and heart will help him have an open mind and heart as well.

:

just_the_aunt said:

okay as an aunt of a kid who not only polishes his toenails, he does his fingernails too, has long hair and will wear make up if you let him, what is it you're really worried about? my nephew does not like the typical 'boy' things, he likes the typical 'girl' things.

while his brother loves to go to sporting events and fishing with my brother, he'd rather stay home and play with his barbies with his sisters or bake with his grandmother. when given the chance he always picks out girl things to buy in the store. has no interest in tucks. so what. it is who he is.

the thought he might be gay has crossed my brother's mind. he even asked my mom what the rest of us thought if he were gay. our response was "so what, if he is, he is." is this what you're really afraid of?

btw he is eight.

Maybe. We've talked about our children possibly being gay and have no problem with it. Heck, I was in a gay relationship for 8 years and our son is the product of that relationship. (Yes, it's a little complicated) I guess the reality that he might be (this is our only indication, if it's an indication at all) is forcing us to put our money where our mouth is.

But honestly, I don't think it's that. I'm more concerned with him being teased. I know it's impossible to protect your children against teasing and he needs to learn how to deal with it. But I just don't want him hurt for doing something that feels right to him.

My 8 year old wanted his nails painted for a camp carnival. Then walked around in flip flops with orange polish for a week. When he was 4, I remember painting his toes and fingers. He does have an older sister, so I never thought much of it. I would not play it up or down. But is probably nothing.

When my youngest son was preschool age, his favorite colors were purple and pink. The summer before kindergarten we were picking out backpacks and he decided he wanted a pink one. I got it for him, but I was worried about how the other kids would react, would he get teased, etc., although I kept that stuff to myself. He went to school and kids definitely said stuff about the backpack ("Why do you have a pink backpack? Did you pick it out yourself? etc.) Kids in his class even came up to ME after school in the playground to ask, "Why did you buy X a pink backpack?" I explained that he liked it, he picked it out himself, and a color is a color - there are no "boy" or "girl" colors. You're allowed to like what you like.

I think it was the talk of the class for a while but eventually died down - except one kid in the class wouldn't drop it. My son came home one day and said, "I really am getting sick of Y - he won't stop talking about my backpack". I told him we could get him a different backpack if he wanted, but he declined.

The next day he got up and got himself dressed and went to school with his pink backpack, wearing a pink t-shirt. I think it was a big F U to the other kid.

That was the end of that, and he used the backpack the rest of the year. I'm glad I got him the backpack and I'm glad he stuck to his guns. As anyone who knows him will tell you, he's a pretty strong-willed kid as it is, but I'm sure it was tough for him to start kindergarten and have all this focus on his stupid backpack. But I was proud for the way he handled himself - and I hope he learned that he doesn't have to apologize or feel bad for being who he is and liking what he likes.

I think if your boy likes nail polish, let him wear nail polish. They are going to be who they are going to be, right?

BTW, when he started first grade, he decided to ditch the pink backpack and get something more "boyish". I have to admit I was a little sad - that pink backpack grew on me...

My son is only 22 months, but I've wondered a lot about how we'll handle this sort of thing. I completely understand the instinct to protect him (the thought of my son being teased just breaks my heart!!). At the same time, I want him to have the freedom to express himself and be who he is. No advice since I'm new at this, but I understand the dilemma!!

Great story Kriss. Thanks for sharing.

Can't tell you all how helpful your comments have been. It's so reassuring to know that other parents have dealt with this and that I'm not 1) crazy for painting his nails and 2) crazy for being worried about him wanting his nails painted.

ml1 LOVE the photo of you! :-D