Juniemoon's and tom's son badly hurt in motorcycle accident in California on 2/28

Our son, Alex, whom many of you know, was hit by a car while riding his motorcycle in Oakland, CA last week.

I've been here since last Thursday.  Happy to say he seems his old self cognitively.  When his pain is not agonizing, his speech, recognition, charm and humor are coming through loud and clear.  

He's got a fractured tibia and femur, and his ankle was crushed.  He has a head injury and is pretty much one big bruise/scrape from head to toe.  Bless his borrowed helmet that saved his life.

He cannot use his left arm and left leg (which is full of pins and rods) right now.  His leg has been surgically "re-built", but he's in tremendous pain we're having difficulty getting under control.  This has kept him from being released to an acute physical therapy facility, which his insurance will not cover.

He has a great attitude for working hard to get well ... can't wait to get back to the restaurant where he's the head chef, and.... get another motorcycle.  His father and I are just happy he's alive and has that "pick yourself up, dust yourself off" spirit working for him. 

Now that we're finding the right "knock out" drugs to keep him more comfortable, he's charming the staff with his wit and wisdom.  They've been impressed, (some might say, shocked) at the stream of young punk rockers who have been lined up in the lobby, waiting their turn to visit him two by two.  Shocked by their style of clothes, etc., but very impressed by their good manners and obvious concern for their friend. 

His very large and very close "community" in Oakland is rallying to his aid with extraordinary effort.  They have set up this "GoFundMe" site to help pay medical expenses:

Click here to support McGee's Medical Fund by Mitchell McNeely

We're working to get him moved to the Acute Physical Therapy Facility he needs, but encountering much red tape.  His recovery and therapy will take a very long time, and out-of-pocket expenses are going to be very steep, to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars a month.  

Please support their efforts, his drive to get well, and Tom and me by making a donation to his "GoFundMe" page ASAP.  

Deepest thanks from both of us.

Best wishes and prayers for a speedy recovery.

Oh my goodness! Swift and smooth healing, sending best wishes for sustained good humour throughout!       

ctrzaska said:

Best wishes and prayers for a speedy recovery.

Ditto this!  Will be thinking of you all.

So sorry to hear, thinking of you and your families at this difficult time.

Thanks everybody. Please spread the word -- Alex still has lots of friends in MW/SO.

Research post concussive syndrome/traumatic brain injury.  I had an injury about 14 years ago....doctors kept insisting i was fine....i couldn't see straight and had trouble controlling my arms and legs, but they said I could drive...i didn't find out it was post concussive syndrome until i heard about a hockey player having similar symptoms....i went from reading a 300 page book in a few hours to not being able to read and remember a sentence...it took 8 years before I could read through a magazine article and remember the main ideas....i still can't remember the detail I used to.....i have other issues, they are subtle and not really noticeable unless you look for them...and the docs were never of any help.

is he a California resident?  they have horrible brain injury support programs.  If he is a legal NJ resident, the NJ traumatic brain injury fund might help even if it is just some of the expenses..although it might be hard to show specific things are are brain injury related.

as soon as you have a prognosis for how long recovery will be...if it will be close to a year or more...look into applying for SSDI/SSI...he will likely be denied the 1st time (about 4 months after applying)..but by that time you will have a clearer picture on how long recovery will be....and if it will be a year or more, hopefully he will be approved for SSDI/SSI.

SSDI can be back dated up to a year (and doesn't even start until the 6th month of disability), but if he is eligible for any SSI, that is not back dated and applying right away protects the start date...

once he is in rehab...if it looks like he won't be able to go back to his old job, contact the state vocational rehab office.

jmitw=MOL buzzkill champ.

Juniemoon and tom -- Please accept my sincerest best wishes for Alex's full recovery.

Actually, no, not a buzzkill. TBI is often not recognised or acknowledged until it's too late to do much about proper work to overcome the residual damage. Thank heaven we know more now about neuroplasticity and how the brain heals and learns than we did when I contracted mine 30+ years ago. (Sheesh, is it that long???)

Mine was discovered by accident, because I could carry on a conversation, recognise people and places, knew my name and the date... Yet my memory is quite impaired, my numeracy is shot, problem solving is erratic, map reading can be a problem and sometimes I'm completely aphasic. For someone who was fluent in 12 languages and had an almost perfect memory, that's disastrous. I'm forever grateful for the friend who thought something wasn't right. 

The sooner Alex gets all the supports he may need, whatever they are, the better. Less stress all round.

Hoping today is a good day, as painfree as possible  

juniemoon and tom, I am so sorry about your son and I hope he makes a full and speedy recovery.

joanne, thank you for saying what I wanted to. It's an important discussion.

Wishing your son a swift recovery.  Sounds like he was very lucky!

Thanks for the info and support everyone. He's a California resident. At this point it's hard to tell much cognitively because he's on a lot of pain meds plus a mood stabilizer. He certainly is articulate, but he gets tired easily and has a residual but fading headache. He's still in the regular hospital getting regular attention from neurology and physical therapy. 

And thanks, @jamie, for pinning this.

Best wishes for your son.

Tom, if at any point they offer a fMRI get it done More helpful than just an ordinary CAT scan or MRI because it'll show real-time workings of the brain, not just areas with bruising or clotting. That will help with planning what happens next.

And remember - even if things seem bad, they're not! I still understand about 15languages even if I can't speak much; I've added Greek and conversational Mandarin to my list since the injury. I've changed careers twice since then, both times professions, and I've moved interstate 3 times, more than I was told I would ever cope with  

Juniemoon said:

Click here to support McGee's Medical Fund by Mitchell McNeely

Contributed the small amount I could afford with best wishes for Alex's speedy and full recovery.

The_Soulful_Mr_T said:

Juniemoon said:

Click here to support McGee's Medical Fund by Mitchell McNeely

Contributed the small amount I could afford with best wishes for Alex's speedy and full recovery.

Many thanks!

I had a nice long Facebook chat with Alex this morning. A few highlights (I'm correcting some typos for clarity; he's working with one hand):

"yeah physical therapy is going to be intensely painful. ive got a long long uncomfortable road ahead of me

"i dont think ive ever faced a challenge quite so personal or daunting.

"oh i know i can do it

"my doctors have all told me with the health i already had i have the capability to come out of this stronger than i was before the accident

"ive got so much at stake there are no if ands or buts about putting everything i have into recovery"

I'm intensely proud of him.

Soulful:  You 'da man!  A couple other MOL'ers have done the same.  Please share the link if you visit to spread the word.

Thanks to Jamie from me, too, for pinning this.    

The heart of kindness here at MOL lives on.  We're so very grateful.   ><        

The_Soulful_Mr_T said:

Juniemoon said:

Click here to support McGee's Medical Fund by Mitchell McNeely

Contributed the small amount I could afford with best wishes for Alex's speedy and full recovery.

tom said:

The_Soulful_Mr_T said:

Juniemoon said:

Click here to support McGee's Medical Fund by Mitchell McNeely

Contributed the small amount I could afford with best wishes for Alex's speedy and full recovery.

Many thanks!

I had a nice long Facebook chat with Alex this morning. A few highlights (I'm correcting some typos for clarity; he's working with one hand):

"yeah physical therapy is going to be intensely painful. ive got a long long uncomfortable road ahead of me

"i dont think ive ever faced a challenge quite so personal or daunting.

"oh i know i can do it

"my doctors have all told me with the health i already had i have the capability to come out of this stronger than i was before the accident

"ive got so much at stake there are no if ands or buts about putting everything i have into recovery"

I'm intensely proud of him.

Jesus, the kid's got a great attitude. He'll do well.

tom said:

The_Soulful_Mr_T said:

Juniemoon said:

Click here to support McGee's Medical Fund by Mitchell McNeely

Contributed the small amount I could afford with best wishes for Alex's speedy and full recovery.

Many thanks!

I had a nice long Facebook chat with Alex this morning. A few highlights (I'm correcting some typos for clarity; he's working with one hand):

"yeah physical therapy is going to be intensely painful. ive got a long long uncomfortable road ahead of me

"i dont think ive ever faced a challenge quite so personal or daunting.

"oh i know i can do it

"my doctors have all told me with the health i already had i have the capability to come out of this stronger than i was before the accident

"ive got so much at stake there are no if ands or buts about putting everything i have into recovery"

I'm intensely proud of him.

YES!  I hear him say these things all day long.  

And the hugs and love that I see between him and his friends is just amazing.  His focus with them is on getting better so he can re-pay everything they're doing for him now.  Hospital staff tell me we did a great job raising him (who'da thunk?)

His sister arrives in 2 days.  They're eager to see each other.   

The apple of my eye is still here.  His motivation to get well is amazing.    

wharfrat said:

jmitw=MOL buzzkill champ.

WT?  DOES THAT MEAN..and wt if your problem...you are in no position to be b-othcing about other people....i gave helpful advice based on personal experience...i actually have a background of trying to help someone with brain injury in california in addition to my personal experience.

I actually had 2 brain injuries..the 1st one about 35 years ago...and didn't know or understand my struggles until after the 2nd one and I found out about the complications on my own.....yes things can be okay..but it might be a new normal....might require long term rehab and job retraining....so info about SS and voc rehab are helpful.

i went to JFK neuro center...supposedly world renowned...i tried 3 other neurologists...everyone thought i was fine because no one took the time to pay attention..i couldn't physically eat solid food for a week because I couldn't chew, my speech was impaired during that time, I had severe vertigo....the alleged docs just assumed I was faking the symptoms.....one of the tests is short term memory....they say 3 things and ask you to repeat them later...when i couldn't, the doctor gave me hints.....a city, in illinois, called the windy city...and BAM...i came up with Chicago...but i was using long term memory and previous knowlegde...so he declared my short term memory fine...

luckily i had the gut instinct to do what I needed to do to rehab myself
fatigue continues to a major problem....eye docs insisted i should use good lighting...but i found the light was making me tired....I would get and 2 hours later be collapsing from fatigue..turning down the lights helped that

my main disability now is other people's attitudes.

joanne said:

Actually, no, not a buzzkill. TBI is often not recognised or acknowledged until it's too late to do much about proper work to overcome the residual damage. Thank heaven we know more now about neuroplasticity and how the brain heals and learns than we did when I contracted mine 30+ years ago. (Sheesh, is it that long???)

Mine was discovered by accident, because I could carry on a conversation, recognise people and places, knew my name and the date... Yet my memory is quite impaired, my numeracy is shot, problem solving is erratic, map reading can be a problem and sometimes I'm completely aphasic. For someone who was fluent in 12 languages and had an almost perfect memory, that's disastrous. I'm forever grateful for the friend who thought something wasn't right. 

The sooner Alex gets all the supports he may need, whatever they are, the better. Less stress all round.

Hoping today is a good day, as painfree as possible  ">

Dearest Joanne:  I hear you.  We know much about TBI in our family.  Mine was at 2 1/2 yrs old.  I was out for 2 1/2 days.  Nearly 18 years later, I had my first grand mal seizure and was diagnosed with epilepsy.  Other smaller seizures had been happening since childhood, but were not identified.  Another 20 years of trying 25 meds to control my seizures before I had the brain surgery that has gotten them pretty much under control.

During that time I graduated from college, built a successful career in advertising in NYC, got married, had 2 beautiful, healthy children and a very full life.

But with epilepsy goes depression (no one really knows why), and 25 years of seizures (basically the equivalent of electric shock therapy) take their toll.  In 2008, after losing 2 jobs in a year, no one was more surprised (or daunted) than I to be approved for permanent disability.  In 2012, with a lot of hard work and a fabulous Disability Coordinator, I earned my Masters Degree at Rutgers.

Invisible disabilities are tough, because with all I am able to do, it's hard for people to realize how difficult some things still are for me.  And with our society's emphasis on positivity, it's hard not to be ashamed of those "down days".

Our children witnessed many of my seizures as they grew up.  They know what seizures look like.  They recognize depression and know that it can be managed.  They know a lot about getting knocked down and always getting back up again.  If my epilepsy helped them learn some of those lessons, I guess it was all worth it.

Alex will benefit from all that's been learned in the last 3 decades.  And if he ever needs a good neurologist, he's already acquainted with the best in the business -- a Columbia HS grad, with his name on the Wall of Fame there.

@jmitw and @joanne, your experiences sound horrible, I really feel for you. 

Hopefully, our Alex will remain cognitively sound. 

Juniemoon said:

Hospital staff tell me we did a great job raising him (who'da thunk?)

So I have to go on MOL to hear this??

Let me join in wishing you the best.

Best wishes to him for a full and speedy recovery. I've been riding all my life and knock on wood never had a crash with another vehicle, but these stories always give me pause.

I've also had a TBI from a bicycle crash (again, nobody else involved) a few years ago and all the cautionary tales above are good advice. Mood swings, anger, being tired are all indications of a concussion, he should make sure to get plenty of rest and not rush back into normal life to quickly, if he indeed has one. Brains don't heal the same way bones do, they heal slowly and calmly, but there are also therapies that can make a huge difference.

tom said:

Juniemoon said:

Hospital staff tell me we did a great job raising him (who'da thunk?)

So I have to go on MOL to hear this??

I said "we".  There's no question in anyone's mind that both of his parents influenced who he is today.

I should have included the wink icon in my comment.

sending prayers for strength and healing to your sweet boy. He sounds like an amazing fighter!

Only cost me $53 to change my flight from tonight to 3/28 -- YAY American Airlines!

And tonight I move into Alex's boss's loft apartment where she has a room all ready for me.

Many bright stars in all of this!