How to dress when over 50 or 60

I am 65. Definitely gained more weight than I would like. I have been going nuts trying to find clothes that fit. I keep running into leggings. Really not a becoming look on me. Nor are tunics. Is there anyone else out there who comes up against this problem and found anything they like? 

Well, altho I am much younger than you (not)...I would recommend wearing comfortable clothing whatever that may be for you. . Leggings remind me too much of the god-awful style of the 1980s yet they are very popular now, tho not for me. And depending upon your height (at any age)  tunics may be just too voluminous. Keep looking for stylish clothing items in your comfort zone. Keep the faith.

I think a lot depends on your body shape, your personal style, and what you feel comfortable wearing. If tunics with leggings don't work perhaps that silhouette is wrong for you. What about palazzo type pants with more streamlined tops? The palazzo pants don't need to be super wide, but fitted at the waist, and loose elsewhere. My aunt is about your age and plus sized, she loves flowy clothes and often wears looser tops with bright patterns. She knows she's not a size 2 and it doesn't matter, she dresses to her personality and it shows!   

My mom just turned 70. She's not skinny, and last week she wore a michael kors jumpsuit that looked wonderful on her. It was very fashionable, yet still age appropriate. 

Fortunately (I guess), I can wear comfortable clothes for work. But voluminous is exactly right for the tunic look. I'm not short, but I think tunics make me look short. I hate, hate, hate shopping. I was very happy when a doyenne of fashion complained in the NY Times that clothes for mature women are just not out there. And, she didn't look like she was overweight at all. 

If you go to bloomies or nordstrom you can work with a stylist who will help you choose an outfit. Then you can use that silhouette to build a wardrobe in your current size. (There are independent stylists as well). I love clothes, but if don't love shopping. I generally do most shopping online and always look for specific items I love, and know what generally works for my shape. 

Comfortable and in keeping with your personal style is definitely the way to go.  If you are comfortable in your clothes, you are always in style.  There are many other looks than leggins and tunics to choose from.

Following up on SHH's comment, you may want to just shop at some of the  major department stores with large and varied plus sized departments, just looking around, not even considering buying anything at first.  In addition to Bloomies and Nordstrom,  you have varied plus size options at Talbots, Lord & Taylor and Macy's.  L&T used to have a personal shopper, I am not sure they do, but the staff is very friendly and professional.

Another option is the Jones New York website, jny.com, which has a huge variety of clothing and styles and frequent sales.  If you become a member of their "club" at no cost, you get a personal advisor and free shipping both ways. (I have no idea how they make money on this, but it's a terrific service).  They too have a selection of plus size clothing, often on sale.

And, don't forget Lands End for good selection and if you sign up online, you can catch sales and free shipping too.

The equity firm that owns JNY is in the process of shutting it down by the end of the year. Good sales now, if the brand appeals to you. 

There are a bunch of blogs for women over 40. Check out this list:

http://40plusstyle.com/women-over-40-blogger-community/

I suggest looking at Eileen  Fisher.  It's expensive - but there is an outlet in Secaucus and when there is a sale (several times a year) you can get great deals.  I have worn EF for 20 years and there are shapes for when I was smaller and now that I am not.  (I am 50ish).  Gorgeous fabrics, colors and definitely investment clothing but worth the investment in my opinion

Gerryl, are there any celebs with similar build whose style you admire? Search for images of them on the Internet and create a look book for yourself by collecting screen shots. If you are able to keep the images on your phone you can reference them during a shopping outing. Emmulate a look and see how you like it. 

Edited to add: Pinterest is a great place to start and to research your look book! In the search box plug in AGE 60 STYLE and you'll find an abundance of inspiring pins. Play around with search terms and keep browsing. You can collect the images you like into your own board. 

Good luck finding your new look!

I look awful in a tunic and pants or leggings. The hem of the tunic hits a point around my hips that makes my upper half look even wider and my legs look short and stubby. (And I'm 5'9" with long legs.) However, wearing that same top with a short knit skirt (above the knees) and black tights is very flattering.

A lot of info here since I last looked. Thank you everyone. I am taking a class that Eileen Fisher is in. She is a very nice woman, and I like some of her philosophy, but her clothes, which are attractive, would not look good on me. I am wondering if anyone else is frustrated by the quality in clothes? Probably 30 years ago, I would buy Liz Claiborne for most of my work clothes. It wasn't real high end, but the clothes were pretty classic, and were well made. Of course, that brand is long gone. Jones,NY was similar, but I find their clothes these days sometimes cut/sized oddly. Land's End used to be my mainstay for tees, etc. I now find they cut back on quality like their sweaters used to last and last. Now they are thinner, and pill. I would pay a chunk more money for things that were made better. 

At one point I reconciled myself with a few of the styles from J Jill, but their quality seems to have gone down hill too. I have a pair of ponte knit pants that lasted and lasted. The last pair I bought there, pilled after 4 or 5 wearings. Same with a sweater I bought there last fall. 

I am trying to be open to a stylist. I am having difficulty with that. I am just not an enthusiastic shopper, and feel like I would be very frustrating to work with.  dianald, your suggestion to look at the big dept stores is what I have been doing for over a year now. The last time I went out, I was so exhausted and frustrated by not seeing anything I liked, that I picked up pants that I bought without trying on. (They were brands that I know fit me). I got home to discover that they were leggings. 

I am sure that some of my frustration is that I have gained some weight this year. 

I can relate.  Usually I don't really care and it doesn't really matter that often as I work at home, attend a church where "anything goes" (and I'm in the choir anyway, so there's a robe on top) and I mostly live in jeans and sweats and such.  But, when I need to dress for an occasion, I'm in trouble.  For example, I have a high school reunion coming up and the organizers of same are in the country club/fundraising gala crowd in a completely different part of the country and have proclaimed the event "formal".  I really don't know what they mean by that but I fear that it isn't in my closet.  (And, if it was, it probably wouldn't fit anymore.)

I can relate too.  In the past several years as my body morphs more and more into that of my mother's...and, I no longer need my 'professional' wardrobe....my entire approach to clothing has changed.  In the past I purchased 'investment' clothing that I could wear for at least 5 or more years.  Now, each year as my body changes I find that I purchase 'for the season' and my time frame is a hoped for 2 years.  Lately I have been going to Kohl's where I try on clothing in the Chaps line, which is relatively classic and inexpensive (I rarely pay full price). Kohl's has multiple lines and if you can find one that is generally within what you like to wear, is comfortable and looks good, it can be a one-stop place to freshen up a seasonal wardrobe. And, if you sign up for their credit card, you receive periodic discounts that can be up to 30% off sale prices.  

Like sac, the thought of having to dress for a special event is a totally another issue.  

I can dress anyway I want since I am self employed, and I don't dress like I did in the City, but I try to look casually professional. I guess I can hope to lose some weight, and hope styles will change. (Fat chance!). In the mean time I can look at the blog mentioned here, and check out Kohl's. Where is Kohl's? I know my mother, who used to not like Kohl's, now has some pieces from there. 

For work clothes and formal wear I highly recommend working with an individual stylist at Nordstrom's.  When I got married I had no desire for a traditional gown.  The Nordstrom stylist had me fill out an online questionnaire and when I arrived for my appointment she had a rack full of dresses.  The first one I tried on was the one I was married in.  I am a very curvy plus-size woman and I like clothes that define my waist.  

I also HATE to shop.  Working with the stylist saved so much time because the clothes were waiting for me - no going through the racks and searching for appropriate sizes.

@gerryl I agree with you - the quality of the clothes from Lands End (and Eddie Bauer) has seriously declined.  

I recently had to shop for special occasion clothes, and discovered that Raplph Lauren is making some great, comfortable, flattering clothes in a wide range of sizes. The line is Lauren, and it comes in 2 petite through 22 woman's! 

http://www.ralphlauren.com/shop/index.jsp?categoryId=1766613&ab=global_women_lauren&cp=1766613

You can buy them at department stores, although I ordered online. Search for sales as well. 

The nearest Kohl's is on Route 22 towards the West in the Blue Star Shopping Center. The location is outside my normal shopping range but I became familiar with the chain when I did some work in PA.  There is a ShopRite adjacent to the store, so I do a grocery visit after shopping.  FWIW, the Kohl's stores have sections for petite and plus sizes. 

This thread has been helpful.  I just found out there is a J.Jill in the Short Hills Mall.  I haven't been there in a long time and it used to be my go-to mall when I worked in Manhattan.  Deborahg, thanks for the link to Lauren....one of my favorite brands.  Nice to know I can shop there online.

If I could order all my clothes online I would do so, but some things just need to be tried on.  

I can relate to all the issues on this thread! I'm also in that odd space between life stages and post-career (albeit quite early for that) and having more trouble controlling my weight than I used to, so shopping has become an occasion for confusion and despair. Half the stuff in my closet either doesn't fit or is not appropriate for anything I actually do any more, yet I am loathe to get rid of things that I loved when they still worked for me. (Yes, I know, I need to detach.)

And I do think it's absolutely true that most designers can't be bothered to make clothes that are beautiful for women who are over 40 and wear something higher than a size 8. I used to love clothes, and this makes me very sad.

One star whose style I actually do quite admire is Judi Dench, despite her extremely round figure. Yet, when I wear similar clothes, I find I look dumpy rather than stylish. It's very difficult to figure out. I guess I need to find a celebrity whose body is closer to my own and who has a style that I think would work for me.

Harumph. Whimper.

Yes to everything said above, including the closet full of no-longer-appropriate clothes.

Couple of thoughts:

1. For a while there, I was watching Martha Stewart (yes, Martha Stewart) when she was on TV, and really liked her casual/professional look.  Not too dressed down, not too much ornamentation.

2. sac, I bless the organizers of my h.s. reunion, who made even the evening event fairly casual.  Would a tuxedo look work for you?  Nice black pants, jacket or tunic with or without shirt, dressy shoes/sandals, some good or striking jewelry?  In any case, have a lot of fun!!

Looking forward to hearing more, and big thx to gerryl for starting this thread.

http://dailysavings.allyou.com/2014/03/13/clothing-items-that-age-you/

Just read this and thought it might be appropriate here.

I have also been struggling with age and weight and what that means for the clothes I wear. I recently conquered the weight issue pretty successfully (there are always a few pounds I could lose), thank God. So I understand the mental and physical challenges. Lately I've been challenging myself to try new things and move outside my comfort zone. I follow a couple of fashion blogs for older women. I get interesting ideas from them that I try to translate for myself. I consider it educating myself, and the more I learn, the easier things will come. I'm happy to hear about the Eileen Fisher outlet, going to check that out. Her clothes are so insanely expensive. 

Also, I tend to do better with petite most of the time (for height) and I find shopping in stores can be really frustrating. The selection of petite is usually so limited. I can only assume it must be the same for plus sizes. Lately I've been doing a lot of shopping online because I can almost always find what I'm looking for in petites. Then I just order things I like in several different sizes in the range that usually fits me (every brand is different in terms of their sizing, which is also a frustration). This way I get to try things on in the comfort of my own home, and I return all the stuff I don't like or that doesn't fit. The initial expense of ordering multiple sizes is worth it to find items I like that fit me. And then I just return everything I don't want. I find it easier to run to the stores to return, but there's always mail. Look for places like Nordstrom where shipping is free both ways.

An interesting point in the piece I linked to: even though it may be against our instinct, form fitting (not tight) clothes are more flattering and slimming than baggy clothes. I have found that to be true. And look for items that have a waist built in in terms of shape. No boxy blouses. An empire waist is also good.

Good luck. This aging thing is a challenge.

I don't think I'm quite as round and short as Judi Dench (who knows. I may be fooling myself). I do think that her look is what is made for our "mature" bodies. However, I too, look frumpy. What I need is a good camera man and lighting person and director!

gerryl said:

I don't think I'm quite as round and short as Judi Dench (who knows. I may be fooling myself). I do think that her look is what is made for our "mature" bodies. However, I too, look frumpy. What I need is a good camera man and lighting person and director!

 Sigh. Maybe a personal stylist and a crew of makeup and hair people is what is really needed. Grumble, grumble, grumble. I am as short as Dench is (I think), but not quite so rotund.

And you are right about the clothing shapes that work best, MATB. it's tempting to go for the billowy stuff because it is so comfy and looks interesting blowing in the wind, but it also makes me look rather huge. Especially if I get really stupid and wear a big loose top over wide-leg pants. DUH. I guess at times like those, a belt can come in handy. I used to do well with asymmetrical belts that hit a little below the waist to lengthen and hint at a waist without strangling my middle. But yes, figure skimming is the way to go, more often than not.

A tip that sometimes helps with online shopping: I find that photos of women modeling Plus or Women's size clothing tend to give a much more accurate idea of how particular styles translate to real 40+ bodies, no matter what size you actually wear. Part of my frustration with clothing shopping is that I look nothing like an airbrushed 16YO, but I like what they're wearing.

Here's one example: A print dress in Regular (note Photoshopped waist notch), and the same dress in Woman:

So true, so true.  Not to mention that I still somehow feel like I am 3 or 4 sizes smaller.  Self delusion helps keep me young. ;-)

j_r said:

Part of my frustration with clothing shopping is that I look nothing like an airbrushed 16YO, but I like what they're wearing.

j_r said:

A tip that sometimes helps with online shopping: I find that photos of women modeling Plus or Women's size clothing tend to give a much more accurate idea of how particular styles translate to real 40+ bodies, no matter what size you actually wear. Part of my frustration with clothing shopping is that I look nothing like an airbrushed 16YO, but I like what they're wearing.

Here's one example: A print dress in Regular:

http://www.ralphlauren.com/product/index.jsp?productId=57446136&ab=ft_regular

Same dress in Woman:

http://www.ralphlauren.com/product/index.jsp?productId=57464506&ab=ft_woman

 I do the same thing.  I figure if it's offered in a plus size, it will be flattering on my less than stick figure.  Also, I'm wary of any style that makes the model look fat. Sometimes it turns out to be bad photography, but often it's just not a good look for anyone.

mjc said:

 sac, I bless the organizers of my h.s. reunion, who made even the evening event fairly casual.  Would a tuxedo look work for you?  Nice black pants, jacket or tunic with or without shirt, dressy shoes/sandals, some good or striking jewelry?  In any case, have a lot of fun!!

Ten years ago, they did go more casual.  Maybe it was a different "they", who knows?  I'm not volunteering to organize it, so I guess I can't cast too many aspersions.  Some form of black pants with dressy top may be just the ticket.  Actually, I go to a lot of events in black slacks.  They certainly ARE versatile.

I realize this thread is looking for practical advice, but I just had to put in the link to these ladies: http://advancedstyle.blogspot.com  The blog and documentary about them helped me to realize that, just because I'm of a certain age, it doesn't mean I need to disappear into a neutral and black pit of "tastefulness". I'd been concerned about appearing foolish, "mutton dressed as a lamb", and I'm still pretty careful (one of my guidelines is, if I wore a fad the first time around, I'm too old to wear it again), but they absolutely convinced me that dressing this aging body could still be fun.

The other guideline I've discovered is that, after a certain age, quality pieces really look a lot better. When I was young, any shmata looked great. Now, not so much. Older body really look better with the structure that's built into better garments. Lacking the budget to go high end, I'm constantly checking out consignment shops. I've been able to assemble a much better wardrobe than I could possibly afford if I shopped in boutiques and department stores.

I'm 72, tall and plus sized.  Not plus sized 10, but really plus.  I am retired.  In the winter I wear long sleeved T's, cardigans or pullover sweaters, and stretchy pants--not leggings--from Landsend.  In summer I wear short sleeved T's, those stretchy pants or loose linen pants and light weight cotton cardigans/pullovers.  For the occasional "special" occasion in my life, I wear fancier pants--maybe velvet in winter, and better quality T's.  No sequins or beads or embellishments.  I buy most of my clothes from JJill or Landsend, because I hate shopping.  I have considered Eileen Fisher, but her stuff looks itchy and is overpriced, IMO.  200 bucks for a simple cotton T shirt is a bit over the top, at least for me.  I like solid colors and some prints, and I don't feel like going around in black all the time.  When you get to be my age, black makes you look dead.  

This works for me.  I try tom keep it simple and comfortable.

Eileen Fisher's clothes are wonderful, I think, but GROSSLY overpriced. I have bought some of her stuff over the years, but only on drastic sales. Even then, the prices can be a bit startling.

Regarding that b&w print wrap dress, I think it looks MUCH better on the "plus" sized model than it does on the airbrushed stick figure. And no, that isn't cattiness talking. That's my real opinion.