Funeral Notice Protocol

Here is one for the hive mind.

The superintendent of a building I manage just passed away yesterday. I am the centerpoint for getting information out about his funeral arrangements. He was well-loved and known in our business, so I have notified a lot of people today.

The former building manager, the one before me, was well-hated by my Super. To the point where my Super would not speak to him for the last two years they were working together. Not a word.

Of course, the former building manager finds out from a vendor and sends me an email asking for information on the arrangements. I am pretty certain that my Super would not want this person at his funeral.

I have not answered the email. If he really wants to know he can go to the Web and figure it out--it is easy enough to find (I just checked). But it is also pretty rude of me to give this guy the silent treatment and ignore his inquiry.

PS, I really do not like the former manager either. Very nasty, passive aggressive, somewhat unhinged fellow.

What do you all think I should do?

Share the information.

Agreed, high road all the way, no regrets later. Only exception would be if the family actively don't like this guy, or he would be likely to cause trouble at the funeral, e.g., speak inappropriately to the family. jmo.

eta, condolences on the loss of your respected super.

How probable is it for the guy to act disrespectfully to the living people at the funeral? I'd say that's your cue.

Who will miss him at the funeral? I think you are justified in not responding.

So long as the feud was not severe enough that families were involved, he might feel obligated to show respect to the family regardless of his enmity toward the deceased.

I'd probably give the information but also provide an out along the lines of, "I'd be more than willing to pass along your respects to George's family and I know they'll appreciate it. If you wish to come, the service will be..."

Share the info. Hopefully he will behave himself, or maybe even not show. This could just be a passive-aggressive test of what you will do, because of the feud. Anyway, I agree with MJC: Take the high road.

Funerals are for the living, much more than they are for the deceased. Whether the former building manager wants to attend him/herself or just wants to spread the word to others you may not have known to contact, I think it is only right to share the funeral arrangement information with him/her.

Share the info.

If you really can't stand the guy, share the information and close with: Looking forward to yours!

In my experience, anyone who wants to attend a funeral should be allowed to come (unless you know the family will be very upset the person is there or have reason to believe the person will cause a scene). The person may want to try to make some amends in his mind and resolve a situation he feels badly about. Let him

Share the info