FB Question: "Re-Friend" Request? archived

mem

Apr 7, 2012 at 5:05am

Recently, I received a friend request from someone who had "unfriended" me. I rarely have time for FB these days, however if someone "unfriends" me, I take that seriously and permanently, and I carry it over IRL and am done with it.

So this person is sending me messages asking why I am not "re-friending" them - How do I stick to my guns without hurting their feelings or causing a junior high school stink?

METALART

Apr 7, 2012 at 5:10am

Just block them and you won't get any more messages.

mem

Apr 7, 2012 at 5:21am

Blocking is too dramatic. I'd rather send them a polite message, but don't know what to say.

mammabear

Apr 7, 2012 at 5:24am

I would ignore the whole thing. It's way too "junior high" for me to even think about....

Red_Barchetta

Apr 7, 2012 at 5:24am

Not for nothing, but it's pretty dramatic for you to unfriend them irl because they unfriended you on FB. Who really knows why anyone does anything.

METALART

Apr 7, 2012 at 5:31am Edited

Just send them a KFO message then. Can't be any more polite or direct than that.

mem

Apr 7, 2012 at 5:32am

Nope, its not a relative or MOL person, ha...

sharon

Apr 7, 2012 at 5:37am

I would take it as an opportunity to repair the friendship if you want it or disconnect completely. I'd probably send a message saying, "to be honest, I was insulted you defriended me, don't understand why and don't get why you want to refriend me now." ...and then leave it to them to explain...or not.

greenetree

Apr 7, 2012 at 5:42am

mammabear said:
I would ignore the whole thing. It's way too "junior high" for me to even think about....

^^^

big_poppa

Apr 7, 2012 at 5:43am

Is it someone you sometimes see in real life? If not, block them. That's a lot less dramatic than trying to explain to them why you aren't re-friending them.

mem

Apr 7, 2012 at 5:43am

Someone just sent me this, I kind of like it:

Thanks for the re-friend request, but I am not using FB much these days, maybe someday when I get back to it.
All the best.
Mem

?

mem

Apr 7, 2012 at 5:45am

I do have occasional interaction and I really don't want hard feelings or drama, just don't want them on my group page or in my personal life.

sharon

Apr 7, 2012 at 5:46am

I don't think it's childish to ask why they defriended you in the first place. It's the reactions to these sort of things that makes it immature or not. That line above is great if you are really done with the friendship.

mem

Apr 7, 2012 at 5:54am

I'm not really interested in reasons for the unfriending, I was part of a group of people who were unfriended. I edited my original post to avoid misinterpretation.

But want to stay on more nuetral ground.

METALART

Apr 7, 2012 at 6:00am

Sometimes I get friend requests from people I already thought I was friends with. I usually send them a message that says I thought we were already friends. They usually respond that their account was hacked and needed to be closed.

carolanne

Apr 7, 2012 at 6:09am

You can also refrained and then edit your settings so they don't see your posts. If you truly don't want to refrained and you really aren't on Facebook much I would go with the above message

Student_Council

Apr 7, 2012 at 6:14am

Sometimes people go off FB temporarily or something, I've known people who've deleted their account (due to hacking or maybe just by personal choice ) and then signed on again and rebuilt friend list. Are you sure this wasn't the situation?
If you're certain it wasn't that and was just a plain unfriend, I'd ignore any messages from the person as long as you don't see the person in real life.

hazel

Apr 7, 2012 at 6:14am

I never knew that the person you un-friend is notified that they've been unfriended. Do they get an email or something? I just thought when you did it, they just couldn't see your stuff anymore and their name wasn't on your friends list. How did you find out they didn't want to be your FB friend in the first place? There are a few folks I may want to de-friend, but I'd like to know how it goes out to them.

sharon

Apr 7, 2012 at 6:15am

If you want to stay neutral I like the "Thanks for the re-friend request, but I am not using FB much these days, maybe someday when I get back to it. All the best." line.
Non-confrontational/ no drama.

RVM

Apr 7, 2012 at 6:38am

hazel said:
I never knew that the person you un-friend is notified that they've been unfriended. Do they get an email or something? I just thought when you did it, they just couldn't see your stuff anymore and their name wasn't on your friends list. How did you find out they didn't want to be your FB friend in the first place? There are a few folks I may want to de-friend, but I'd like to know how it goes out to them.

It's what you thought. If you block people from seeing your list of friends going in, then they will never know if they are unfriended.

mbaldwin

Apr 7, 2012 at 6:44am

mem said:
I'm not really interested in reasons for the unfriending, I was part of a group of people who were unfriended. I edited my original post to avoid misinterpretation.

But want to stay on more nuetral ground.

Honestly, just ignore it. If they mention it IRL, just say you don't pay much attention to FB anymore.

mem

Apr 7, 2012 at 6:57am

Its a person fom my last job, and I don't want to burn bridges. I like the note I posted here more and more. Its honest too.

mem

Apr 7, 2012 at 8:04am

So I will use the note and add my policy about refriending.

Thanks all for the informative perspectives, and for the text for the note.

Cheers!

Monster

Apr 7, 2012 at 12:40pm

I think that's the right choice.

mary2430

Apr 7, 2012 at 1:05pm

I was unfriended by my niece. (didn't want her mom to know anything) I did not get a message went on to wish her a happy birthday or something and realized I was unfriended.

case

Apr 7, 2012 at 1:08pm

So are you no longer speaking to your niece? cheese

mary2430

Apr 7, 2012 at 1:56pm Edited

Deleted

METALART

Apr 7, 2012 at 2:37pm

pictures please :-D

teneciah

Apr 7, 2012 at 6:29pm

I think any girl who worries about her mother seeing her Halloween costume on facebook is young enough that the above comment is super creepy.......

METALART

Apr 7, 2012 at 8:09pm

teneciah said:
I think any girl who worries about her mother seeing her Halloween costume on facebook is young enough that the above comment is super creepy.......

Because like the poster stated it was a girl not a woman and no adults ever dress up in Halloween costumes to my knowledge.