Electronics Rules for Teens

What are some of your rules about cell phones, video games, iPads and computer games during the school year? We need to institute some boundaries as the kids get older and the workload gets more intense, and, of course, this is the age when you get some hefty pushback from the kids about limits! What rules make the most difference, and do you just trust them to stop at a certain time, or do you remove the devices and the temptation? Thanks

During the school week, we limit all electronic media to none. We might make an exception once in a while, but the uppermost limit is one hour per day. We found that when we allowed electronics after homework, they rushed through their work and it suffered. We allow access to their phones for texting after work is done or for collaboration on homework, but not for playing games or watching videos. All phones, iPads, etc must be in the kitchen or den at night - period. On weekends or holidays, we are more lax, but limit electronics to after dinner or the one hour a day rule. Sometimes, we relax that for when friends visit and they have ps4 sessions with multiple players. BTW, no TVs in bedroom either.

This is great advice!

Is this typical? Because this is not even remotely close to what my 16 yr old nephew is allowed during the school year. basically, after homework and studying, he is allowed as much phone or computer time as he wants until bed at 11pm. He had his best year ever in school last year and managed all of it himself with no parental intervention (in previous years, my sister battled him and sat on top of him constantly about his work and it was a horrible interaction and he performed poorly). what's the right answer? Not saying what he does is right- frankly, I think he spends way too much time playing videos games. But, with school success, a good job that he handles responsibly and the best social life he's had- how do you justify telling him no screen time every night?

one suggestion is to negotiate on the rules..if you want 3 hours of phone free time between 3-10pm...let them pick the times (not including dinner which is additional phone free time)...and maybe split the time frames....for example 4:00-5:30 no phones (homework time, etc) dinner 6-6:30 and no phone again from 7pm to 8:30 or until all homework/responsibilities are met.

of course it depends on after school schedules...i worked from the beginning of my freshman year and was in up to 4 activities at a time....i got home after my family had dinner (my father didn't want to wait for me as he started work early and got home early and was hungry!)

I'm with conandrob on this. We have no "rules" because school, sports and socializing are all going well. My 12 and 14 year olds do spend a lot of time on phones and games, but they are also very physically active and need some "down time". They have never wanted their sleep time to be interrupted, so turn everything off at night. If I think it's getting excessive, I'll suggest something else for them to do, but that's rare. A lot of the time they are staying in touch with friends from weekend sports who don't live near SOMa.

Another consideration is that this is the time to have them learn how to self regulate. A few years ago, our neighbor's kid went off to a good college, and for the first time screen time was not being controlled by his parents. He spent every night playing games online and flunked all of his exams. Realizing he'd screwed up, he used his parent's credit card to leave for New Zealand! Extreme, I know, but definitely made me think about how to teach my kids to think for themselves, rather then be a continual rule setter during their teenage years.

Up to age 15 (high school) we had rules. After age 15 we allow the kid as much screen/phone time as they want but they are responsible for getting their own work done and done well. The phone is taken away if grades falter etc.

Up to a certain age, parenting is all about telling a child how to use their personal time. "Bobby it is time to eat. (Or bathe, or nap, or do homework)" Teens MUST learn how to manage their own time AND know what they will be held personally responsible for. In a few very short years they are out the door.

When they are teenagers I back off on the "little stuff" - especially if my rules take the decision-making away from my kids. That's the only way they will grow and know how to manage their own time when mommy and daddy are not their to discipline them.

Curfew, on the other hand, is absolutely, positively non-negotiable. The consequences of missing curfew are much more extreme than getting a bad grade on homework.