Be Kind!

conandrob240

I am with my niece who has lately been thinking about transition to a boy. She’s confused right now, not sure what to do (or more, how to do it). She’s a tall person, 12 years old. She has so far cut her hair very short and is wearing “boy” clothes. We are at WDW and I can’t tell you the number of grown adults looking at her with disgust especially in the ladies room. One person called her “it” under her breath loud enough for her to hear it. Really? This is how grown adults treat a child? She’s been suicidal, extremely depressed and now she just keeps crying daily in WDW of all places because she says people think she’s “a freak”. If you see a gender non-conforming kid, please be kind. You have no idea the damage you might be doing to an already fragile child. So


shanabana

That is terrible! I can't imagine the pain such people inflict, especially at such an already self-conscious age. Do they (your niece) have a network of people they can talk with, including suicide prevention?  Others in their school who are going through similar stuff?  If you are certain they are having such thoughts, it's crisis time, and no time should be wasted seeking professional help.  

(What is WDW, by the way?) 


GoSlugs

I wrote a couple of replies to this that advocated violence.  I know that isn't the answer but grrrrr!  She's lucky to have you to support her.  Keep up the good work and remind her that it does get better.

You might also direct her towards the It Gets Better Project website which contains many testimonials from people who have gone through what she is going through and come out the other side as happy, successful individuals living their best lives.


conandrob240

she does see both a transgender issues therapist as well as a psychiatrist and she’s on depressions meds closely monitored. and lately she has a good support group of similar kids she talks to. But it’s really hard right now. She has a fully developed female body so it’s so awkward for her. I think she’s actually transgender (not a phase or confusion) but she’s so shy she doesn’t want anyone looking at her or the awkwardness that goes with being called “he”. She’s not about to use the men’s room- she’s just a little kid and she’s still embarrassed at words like “underwear” for crying out loud. I wanted to pop the lady in the bathroom so bad but niece would be mortified if any kind of scene was made. It’s really heartbreakingly sad. Suicidal at 10 years old and then adults the ones pushing her back to the brink. Disgusting.


blianderson

Just thought I would make you aware of this in case it would be in some way beneficial.

       https/www.gc2b.co/collections/gc2b-all-nude


conandrob240

sorry, on vacation in Disney World of all places to be mean to a child.


blianderson
conandrob240 said:
sorry, on vacation in Disney World of all places to be mean to a child.

 I am going to start confronting the people I notice doing this. I am finished with the ignorance and cruelty.


mrincredible

It's a good reminder that we live in a very enlightened area when it comes to gender issues. When you go some place like Disney World you're going to encounter people from around the country, many of whom don't share the benefit of understanding.

It also reminds me how I have a cis-gender kid who can enjoy a place like WDW (or similar places) with nobody judging her for her appearance. Right now that's privelege.

It's part of the deepening divide in our country. I don't know what it's going to take to bring the majority of Americans around. 


nakaille

I am SO glad that you are in that child's life, conandrob240!  You are a vital link to her future, her survival and her mental health.

I don't know where she lives but the youth who attend Unitarian Universalist congregations are notoriously supportive and welcoming of the entire spectrum of gender identities.  I would be happy to help you find resources in her area if you pm me.  


The_Soulful_Mr_T

It's unfortunate but i don't think there's much hope of changing peoples' minds through calm discussion nor violent confrontation. So sad. Young people learn to love and hate at the dinner table from their parents and it's near impossible to make an intolerant person into an accepting, loving one. Maybe through attrition, when the old bigots die, their children will embrace a more enlightened accepting persona. In the meantime, love and freedom and acceptance (Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness) is for everyone (especially in this country!) or it's for no one.

Happy Independence Day.


nakaille

My spouse was just recalling today how, at the age of 3, our child already considered the question of "mixed gender".  There's a terrific book for children called "What's the Big Secret?"  in it there are side by side illustrations of the internal and external bodies of boys and girls, with labeled parts.  When she saw the side by side illustrations, this preschooler asked what would happen they got mixed up?  What if the boy's inside parts were inside the girl's body and the girl's inside parts were in the boy's body.  My level-headed spouse said that yes, there are a small number of people who feel like they got the wrong outside parts.  And that it was pretty hard for them.


The wisdom of children (and my spouse!)


boomie

That's horrible and so sad.    This is the kind of **** that keeps me up nights, and worse, when it involves violence based on nothing other than someone's LGBT status.   


cubby

Really sad, and yes, I would have wanted to deck them. Sadly, I was in a local esatablishment recently getting a pedicure. Next to me were a group of teens, one of whom, I believe, was non gender conforming.  The staff began whispering about this individual. Since they were not speaking English, I don't know what they were saying but I knew it was about this youth based on their behavior. I was furious but did not say anything. I considered the options (talk to the staff directly but there is a language barrier, speak with the owner, but then get the staff in trouble) and decided there was not a good one. Now, I think I should have just ried to talk to the staff. I should have just said "stop!" 

Conandrob: The Trevor Foundaiton is also an excellent website. Planned Parenthood's website is also worth looking at. 

And, there is this: (It might give you some hope.)

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/04/10/magazine/how-do-you-change-voters-minds-have-a-conversation.html


conandrob240
blianderson said:
Just thought I would make you aware of this in case it would be in some way beneficial.
       https/www.gc2b.co/collections/gc2b-all-nude

Thank you for this. It’s funny you posted this because we just ordered one a week or so ago but it hasn’t come yet. I’m a little concerned about any physical issues from wearing these but definitely a step we’re going to try. The poor child is stuck with size DD breasts since she was 10 years old so you can imagine the mental torture and heightening dysphoria.


nakaille
conandrob240 said:
Thank you for this. It’s funny you posted this because we just ordered one a week or so ago but it hasn’t come yet. I’m a little concerned about any physical issues from wearing these but definitely a step we’re going to try. The poor child is stuck with size DD breasts since she was 10 years old so you can imagine the mental torture and heightening dysphoria.

 Oh, poor baby.  It really is so hard and she really is so fortunate to have you.




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