Baltimore Mom: Mother of the Year or Abusive?

The Baltimore mother, who repeatedly slapped and dragged her teenage son away from participating in a rock-throwing riot, is being touted as Mother of the Year in videos gone viral.  While her wishes to take her son away from the riots are to be commended, she is certainly not shy about slapping him around; and I wonder whether she was overdoing it, and if such rough discipline over the years may contribute towards teaching a child to solve problems with violence, participate in riots or other aggressive behavior?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRlmCf1Kj2o

Both.

She got him away when needed in an urgent situation.

But as behavior it shows there is still a cultural issue with how children are disciplined.

As someone said, if you saw a mother doing that at the local supermarket you would be calling child protective services, but because she was doing it to get him away from trouble she was called a hero with many people saying that is how all mothers should treat their sons who were protesting. I understand why she did it. She was thinking she could beat him or the cops will beat him, and she will probably cause less harm and be sure he would be going home alive. 

And the question is, why are we ok with her doing that in this circumstance, but not in another public setting to the point of calling her a hero? 

I bet he won't be involved in any more riots.

Wish she would have beat the ***** out of a  few more rioters.

She was displaying outrage in how she grabbed her son and removed him from the riot area. This mother was saving her son's life, in her mind… as well as showing him that HE HIT THE WALL. MOM is THE WALL, in his life. You are NOT going forward, Son.  This is the END OF THE LINE. I AM the end of the line. Get off the train NOW AND GO HOME OR I WILL TAKE YOU HOME MYSELF, by hook or by crook.  She was not reasoning with her out of control, enraged son. She was just getting him out of there, pronto. I would bet this woman did not even think of being on video and the subsequent interviews, etc that might occur. She had ONE INTENTION: to save her son's life. 

When emotons are running high, as they were at that moment, I believe many people, not only this mother, were acting in a way they would not act, under normal circumstances.

That is how I view this particular event, as I watched the video. We will never know if she regularly beat her son. All assumptions are merely that: assumptions. For the purpose of debate, people can take positions all they want but it will not reveal anything of this mother and her son's relationship. 

BTW,  did you see the size of him? If he wanted, he could have fought her. The fact that even in his anger, he respected his Mom and left the scene (due to her calling him out and battering him) that tells me something. He knew his participation in the rioting was o-v-e-r.  His plans were thwarted. Let's hope they had a good sit-down talk when tempers cooled. And here is the main thing: He is alive. Mom put herself out there in harm's way to save her son. I wish more parents cornered their children that evening and either prevented them from leaving home or badgered them until they went home. 

Just MHO, folks. 

I don't think people are exactly comfortable with this woman hitting her son. I think most folks excuse it or understand it because of the dire circumstances under which she acted. 

+1 happyheart, and well put.

Good for her!  I saw her interviewed after that and she was even a little shocked at what she had to do to keep her son out of harm's way and to stop his disgraceful conduct.  But you do what you have to do under the circumstances and IMHO the end justified the means here.

Otherwise, what should she have done?  Called a "time out", sat him down and try to reason with him?  Don't think so.

happyheart said:

I don't think people are exactly comfortable with this woman hitting her son. I think most folks excuse it or understand it because of the dire circumstances under which she acted. 

 +1

This woman should be beatified immediately.  Anyone who thinks she was wrong is really off the wall.  If this boy disagrees, let him join the army or become a hobo.

"Time out" doesn't always work. 

Yes, she was very courageous for jumping in and pulling her son out, and as she says, she lost it, which is understandable.  However, it may not have been necessary for her to smack him numerous times.  Just by surprising him there and demanding that he leave, along with pulling him out of there may have been quite forceful enough.  After all, he still did not have to leave with her, but did of his own accord.  She did not give him the option to respond at a lower level of violence, yet instead went immediately right for the jugular.

I totally agree with @happyheart that this was an "outrage" moment and she most likely was horrified at his behavior and terrified that he could be hurt. A "cultural issue"? Not all Black families spank their children. I think many would be surprised by the number of us who do not. 

Spanking is not necessarily cultural. It's a decision of what type of parent you choose to be. I neither criticize or applaud those who do or do not. 

Abusive Mother of the Year. 

My mother would have done the exact same thing. Totally appropriate. We are far too soft anymore. Stakes are high sometimes and it is our job as parents to do what it takes to get the kid to understand.

After all that's happened in the last few months , she knew what she had to do if she wanted her son alive .

Under normal circumstances her acts would have been criminal and should have been stopped .

What she did was right and saving her son was commendable ..her instincts are to be applauded ..maybe it will give courage to other mothers ....your children are yours to save from harm and move them to know how to reach the future ...yes kudos to her .

After all that's happened in the last few months , she knew what she had to do if she wanted her son alive .

Under normal circumstances her acts would have been criminal and should have been stopped .

What she did was right and saving her son was commendable ..her instincts are to be applauded ..maybe it will give courage to other mothers ....your children are yours to save from harm and move them to know how to reach the future ...yes kudos to her .

http://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2015/04/29/why-is-america-celebrating-the-beating-of-a-black-child/

I think she let her anger and frustration get away from her, but honestly, I don't know if I'd behave differently if my son were participating in lawless and potentially fatal activity - and I could stop it  

I commend her for demanding her son take off the hood and mask. The message: You want to do this nonsense? Then stand up and own it by showing your face  

Good for her.

huh.

My understanding is that Mom was cracking down not on his behavior so much as the fact that his behavior might get him killed by a cop.

Me too DB. It is just too crazy to provoke a cop. I would do the same to keep my grandson away from a situation like this, no matter how right he thought he was for participating. If it is not peaceful, stay away.

Look. This is trashy parenting. Good parenting is: your kid never shows up at a riot dressed with a black ninja suit in the first place.

I know this is an area with amazingly tough economic and social problems where there are a multitude of challenges for everyone living there: parents and adolescents who are trying to figure out what the "Right Thing To Do" is.

The fact that the teen wanted to go to a riot with all his friends to "represent" those that had been unlawfully killed by officers of the law is issue number one. This is not the same environment that most people commenting lived through adolescence in.

After that, everything else is up for grabs. 

drummerboy said:

huh.

My understanding is that Mom was cracking down not on his behavior so much as the fact that his behavior might get him killed by a cop.

Not according to her comments.  She made one comment about Freddie Gray but every interview she gave had absolutely no reference to her fear of him getting killed by a cop, unless one wants to start connecting circular dots to make it a story about fearing police retribution, which it assuredly isn't.

Uh, okay. Your son is in a riot scene. He wants to throw rocks at cops. Mom stops him.  Why? Because it is the wrong thing to do?

Circular dot connecting is what moms do.

As jersey boy says, this is an environment that is foreign to most of us. I grew up on LI in the 50's and 60's where the cops were our friends. They watched out for us and got us home safely. Issue no. 1 is these kids are not being protected the way I was way back 60 years ago. My heart breaks for them.

Parenting is hard stuff without community support. When we went out on the streets there were always neighbors eyes watching us and questioning us and telling us how to behave. And cops on the corner of Main street asking us how long we planned on staying. And of course as jersey boy pointed out, parenting that looked at us as we left the house and told me to wear a tshirt under that blouse or my skirt was too short. And definitely be home by dark.

But I did not deal with the temptation of gangs. Mom was a stay at home mom. I had my friends, my violin, my orchestra. What do these kids have?