Attire for "formal affair". Must it be a gown? archived

I think that she meant that it was not a clean coveralls affair-but a Sunday school clothes event !!
Please do not slap me....I am remembering another wedding years ago up that way!!!!!!!! ;-)
I think that she means the outfit that you are thinking about - it does not sound like black tie though.
b

You could always ask...

Shh, can you consult other family members who are invited about what they are wearing? Also, what time of day is the wedding/reception? If it's during the daytime or early evening, gowns aren't really appropriate, strictly speaking (if you ask Emily Post, at least). Your dress sounds lovely. With the right shoes and jewelry, I don't think you can go wrong with that.

If it's a "formal affair," does that mean they expect all the guests who are men to wear tuxedos???

BGS, funny you say that. The invitation is very unusual. Carved in wood, but in a combination of very formal script and more simple block letters.

Wait, I just reread it, it says "THIS IS A FORMAL ATTIRE AFFAIR."

My sister is in the wedding party (if she makes it, she's due a few weeks later). I will ask if their dresses are gowns.

Um, carved in wood????? I agree with BGS. You are going to be OVERdressed. :shocked:

I think taffeta is formal enough. It is below the knee, so it won't be inappropriate. There is nothing worse then owning a dress you look fab in, and having nowhere to wear it. I say wear it.

Peggy, it's at 4:30pm. My husband has a tux and a black suit, so I figured either would do. I wore the dress with 1940's ish fishnets (I love them though I know not everyone does) and black silk platform heels with a strap (not mary janes, not t-strap, I forget what these are) and crystal beaded necklace and earrings. The pin was too much. (LOL)

My parents will be attending and my mom suggested I wear this dress. Other than that we are not close with any other guests. (Who knows who will spend the $$$ to stay up there for the weekend!)

My other option would be a black silk Ann Taylor suit. The jacket is floor length and I have very flowy pants to wear with it, though the jacket is almost like a dress. (We wear black to weddings. This aunt wore black to my brother's wedding so that is not a concern.)

If they wanted gowns and tuxes it should say Black Tie. I think you should be fine.

Sounds perfect to me. 4:30 is cocktail or tea length dresses, not gowns. Even outside Vermont. :wink:

And you, your hubby and your parents will all be in perfect synch, so you will be fine.

I wear black to weddings, too, which gives my own mother FITS. I wore a black slinky tea-length dress to my brother's wedding, with a velvet burn-out shawl in jewel tones and dangly garnet earrings. I was technically the "best man," since I gave the toast, although my nephew stood up for his Dad at the altar. I thought Mom would chew me out during the ceremony, but she behaved admirably.

I agree with eliz - unless they state "Black Tie" they shouldn't expect that level of "formal." I think your taffeta dress sounds just fine.

Great! Thanks all. I am so happy not to have to buy a dress.

The dress sounds more formal than the pants suit. I think its perfectly appropriate. If it said "white tie" I would imagine you would need a gown for that, but otherwise your dress seems ok.

Totally fine. These days women don't even necessarily wear gowns to "black tie" events. I just went to a black tie wedding and more than half the women were wearing cocktail dresses (including the bride's mom).

I agree: black tie = gowns and tuxedos
formal = cocktail dresses and suits.

Midnight blue taffeta sounds lovely. No doubt you will be dressed appropriately in that dress.

Posted By: cppkqpI agree: black tie = gowns and tuxedos
formal = cocktail dresses and suits.

Midnight blue taffeta sounds lovely. No doubt you will be dressed appropriately in that dress.

Sounds about right. Strange wording either way, though. Most invitations either say "black tie" or "black tie optional."

Years ago when I worked for the Metropolitan Opera Club, they had black tie, white tie and formal. Formal Dress meant Cocktail dresses for woman and suit and tie for men. So I would imagine your dress is appropriate. As far as dressing in black at a wedding, I would always ask the bride as it is her day, and if she is okay with it go for it. I know that I have seen some guests wear white and that did not go over so well although everyone behaved appropriately.

Your dress sounds right on target and very pretty. I think you and hubby will probably be the finest dressed duo there!

:kissing:

Thanks. I thought a cocktail length dress would work, but I needed my MOLers to confirm.

I think for a wedding, black is risky and subject to the bride's approval, but white is simply NOT done. :wink:

So funny. ALL the weddings I've ever been to or worked at, as the makeup artist, black has always been the most popular thing to wear. White a total no no, unless the bride requests it.

sharon - I agree. I don't think it's even a question at all if you're a guest at a wedding to wear black. I even went to an Sunday afternoon wedding in the midwest, and they were donning little black dresses. White, in my opinion is NEVER ok to wear to a wedding unless you're the bride. I could see having *some* white in the outfit, but it shouldn't be primarily white.

It isn't OK for the mothers of the bride or groom to wear black.. That's like saying "I'm so unhappy with my child's choice of spouse that I'm in mourning. Oy vey."

I think it depends on the wedding and the couple getting married. My MIL wore a black/silver outfit and I thought she looked great. (Unless of course, she was trying to tell me she hates me....ya never know....)

I think it's largely a generational thing. My mother kept telling me right up to the day that black just wasn't right... but my brother couldn't have cared less. But I suppose for some people it could send a message if the mothers wear black... never thought of it that way.

My mom wore black once, so did all the bridesmaids. (My brother's wedding.) I think my SIL suggested it.

My mom wore ivory to my wedding but so did my bridesmaids! (I was into the "snowball" effect I think they called it....)
We all looked lovely: black tie guys and ivory gals two-steppin' the night away in Austin...man, what a party...

I love the look of a snowball wedding.

It was pretty cool in 1993, thanks :bigsmile:

Why is it inappropriate to wear white to a wedding?

Whence comes this rule? Is it like shoes & labor day, or; is there a reason.

Does it apply to all guests, or just women?

TomR

Mostly to women, because the bride is expected to be in white, and any woman wearing white would distract the eye from the bride, who is supposed to be the most beautiful and noticeable woman in a wedding.