Arr, we be gettin' ready t'set sail away, fer another year... Aaarrgghh!

'Tis almost upon us agin, that wunnerful Day o'Days, th' pinnacle o' delight inna Pyrate's calendar! Are ye practisin' yer swagger? Polishin' yer buckles an' tidyin' yer swash? Swabbin' yer decks an' rollin' yer rr's?

-Mad Red Tess, Cap'n
Th'Aweful Buccaneer o'Hell

I thought so! Your avatar changes when the time gets near.

Aye! That it does!
An' so does th' personality, although fer this year I find meself somewhat more retirin' than formerly.
-Mad Red Tess, Cap'n

'Tis nearly here! I be translatin' fer th' Rabbi what's sailin' wi'us on Friday even; 'twill be a rare feast t'follow th'service fer those what care ter sail.

First Mate deserted an' launched 'is own tub! Figured iffen 'e changed 'is name I wouldna know 'tis 'im. Hah! J'st like th' bilge rat! I've a good mind ter shanghai th' goodlookin' strappin' young lad down th' jetty from 'ere, 'e'd put a twinkle in any lass's eye...
-Mad Red tess, Cap'n

Arrr! Tess!

Arrr! Where's me grog! (Ok 55 minutes early here)

Ahoy Radiskull! Where be ye this year? I'm still sailin' close ter th'coastline 'roun' Stradbroke Is an' nearby inland barely-charted runnels. This double life tis a-wearyin' thing, an' one I'll be glad ter leave behind, methinks.

'N I'll need more'n a full measure o'grog, Laura m'lass - I c'ld keelhaul any larrikin wot'd dare t'look me way right now, strewth ter say so. Crew's scarpered an' the chores not done; Aweful Buccaneer o'Hell slews madly like a drunken sailor; an' it be just a mite more'n a day ter go. I dunno if'n we'll make it ter a proper shindig at this rate o'knots!
-Mad Red Tess

Time to post CAPTAIN BEARDY"S GLOSSARRRY from the "Arrr!" show.

Cap’n Beardy’s Pirate Glossarrry
Arrr! - an all-purpose word, me hearties. Also the best panto on either side o’ th’Atlantic.
Avast! – sometimes means “hello”, and sometimes means “watch out”. When ye meets a pirate, they both mean the same thing anyhows.
Aye! – means “yes”. “Aye, Aye” means “Yes, sir, right away, sir, no need ter hit me round the noggin with yon belayin’ pin.”
Belay – stop.
Belaying pin – heavy piece o’ wood with two uses – helpin’ to tie up the rope as’ll belay the boat – and hittin’ a cove round the noggin.
Bilge – nastiness sloppin’ around at the bottom o’ the boat on account of we ain’t got no bathrooms.
Bilge-Rat – anybody as I don’t like what ain’t a landlubber.
Black Swan – boat as Cap’n Hawk used ter be cap’n of afore I was. Monty Daysby served aboard her too.
Bletherin’ – talkin’ a load of old nonsense.
Booty – Loot.
Boson – one o’ the ship’s officers. My boson was called Higgs.
Bow – the pointy end o’ the boat.
The Briny – the ocean, so-called on account of it bein’ so salty.
Buccaneer – much the same as a pirate really, ‘cept they went around in bigger gangs.
Castaway - when nobody turns up for rehearsals.
Colours – The flag ye flies ter identify where ye comes from. “Sailin’ under false colours” is if ye pretends ter be someone as ye ain’t. Pirate colours be the skull an’ crossbones sometimes called the Jolly Roger.
Cove – a sheltered place fer the boat. Or a person. If ye says “We’ll tie the boat up in that cove”, it means the cove is a place. If ye says “we’ll tie that cove up in the boat” it means the cove is a person. And probably a scurvy knave too.
Crow’s Nest – A little box, high up on the mast, where yez can look out fer likely victims ter plunder.
Cutlass – sorta like a large potato peeler.
Davy Jones’ Locker - the bottom o’ the briny.
Doubloon – a Spanish coin what’ll buy ye a lot o’ Grog.
Ducket – some other coin. Italian, if I be not mistaken. Also buys grog.
First Mate – my first mate was Rosie Higgins, but sometimes it also means the cap’n’s second-in-commaaaand.
Futtock – it’s a bit o’ the boat, and nothin’ rude at all.
Grog – a mixture of Rum an’ water as ye drinks ‘cos the water’s so stale and nasty. That’s me excuse an’ I’m stickin’ to it.
Jolly Roger – the cabin boy when ‘e ‘s had too much grog. Or the pirate flag.
Keelhaul – yez don’t want to know. Really, ye don’t.
Landlubber – you lot. Unless ye wants ter join me crew?
Letter of Marque – official permission to loot certain peoples. It’s a letter o’ marque as makes ye a privateer an’ not a pirate.
Longboat – the ships boat fer when ya don’t wanna use the big ‘un.
Loot – Booty
Marooned – given a free an’ compulsory open-ended ‘oliday on a lovely island.
Mucky Duck – nickname as we used ter give the Black Swan
Mutiny – Don’t even think about it, ye scurvy knaves.
Noggin – can mean yer head, or can mean a drink o’ rum or grog. Kinda confusin’ now I thinks about it. As if too many noggins ‘ave gone ter me noggin.
Pieces of Eight – silver Spanish coins. Don’t buy as much grog as a doubloon does. Nor a ducket.
Pirate – a scurvy knave what robs yer, sinks yer, and probably kills yer too.
Port – ←over on this side.
Privateer - a scurvy knave what robs yer, sinks yer, and probably kills yer too. But only if the king or queen says they can. Getting yer sea captains to go privateerin’ is cheaper’n declarin’ war fer a king or queen. And ye usually tax the booty too. Privateers have a letter o’ marque.
Rum – tasty drink as never did me no harm. But it’s mine, so keep yer scurvy ‘ands off it.
Rum Cove – not the place as I gets me Rum from, but a strange feller. “Rum” means “odd”. Which is odd, ‘cos it means “Rum” too.
Scuppered – thrown overboard – or, in big trouble.
Scurvy Knave – Bilge rat.
Skiving off – a-shirkin; o’ yer duties, The sorta thing a scurvy bilge-rat would do.
Starboard – over on this side.→
Swab – to swab is to wash, ‘cos we sailors call a mop a ”swab”. No, I don’t know why. You know what happens to rum coves as ask too many questions? Watch the show and find out.
Swashbuckler – Ye’ve always wondered whether ye should buckle yer swash or swash yer buckle, haven’t ye? A “buckler” is an old name for a shield, and some men used to wave their bucklers around or beat on ‘em with their swords so as to look fierce-like. So, anything brave done with a dash o’ style .
Terminator – my boat. The figurehead is Arnold Schwartzenegger.
Walk the Plank – yez can dispose of inconvenient prisoner what’ll bring ye no ransom by getting ‘em to take a long stroll on a short boardwalk.


And remember what the poet said – “in booty there is loot, and in loot booty.” Or sump’n like that.

Ahoy, Mad Tess! Shiver me timbers and avast me hearties. Me heart's not quite in it this year, but I can help keep the thread bumped up!

Ahoy there, Peggy!
-Mad Red Tess, Cap'n

Shiver me timbers!

Well, skulduggery an' gulls' feathers! If that doesn't fair make me wan' ter fetch me plank...! Wha' d'ye reckon they 'spect th'rest o'th'World ter do??? Especially those of us who start th'day earlier!!
-Mad Red Tess, Cap'n

joanne said:

Well, skulduggery an' gulls' feathers! If that doesn't fair make me wan' ter fetch me plank...!
-Mad Red Tess, Cap'n

An 18-pounder across their bow, an' some grapeshot through their rigging, should bring 'em to their senses.

Aye!

Aye it be dawnin' a fair morn, calm seas an' gentle breezes. which be wunnerful, after th'carousin' last night! Me head be throbbin' as if th' boardin' party moved in there! Arrr!

It be 4.44 am, or just beyond eight bells in th' mornin' watch. Time ter rouse th'crew. Aha! Twill be a brave day, fightin' the guv'mint's paper lords on land all forenoon then makin' merry til th' dog watch when we sail ter pillage and plunder! Yar! A pirate's life fer me!
-Mad Red Tess, Cap'n

Avast, by th' mouth o'th' Nerang River! Thar be sharks an' scurvy excise agents lurkin' ter get their hands on yer loot! We be safely holed up in sanctuary fer th' moment, until th' tide turns. Yar!
-Mad Red Tess, Cap'n

Well, keelhaul ter dog and call me a scurvy rat, if that Krispy Kreme deal ain't a fair treat! I'd talk like a pirate any day fer th'likes o' that!

PeggyC said:

Well, keelhaul ter dog and call me a scurvy rat, if that Krispy Kreme deal ain't a fair treat! I'd talk like a pirate any day fer th'likes o' that!

It's not the real deal, varlet!

Original glazed? It should be rum-soaked, at the very least!

I 'ad me a grog-soak'd morsel o'creamy fluff wi'choc'late this afternoon watch - 6 bells it were, an' th' java wuz pipin' hot too. Arrr, sheer delight!

http://mentalfloss.com/article/58963/how-celebrate-talk-pirate-day

'Tis a fair point ye be makin', MarkSierra. It'd still be fun t'try, though!