appropriate bar mitzvah gift archived

Mar 13, 2008 at 6:04pm
My son is going to his first bar mitzvah. We're not Jewish and it's been years since I've been to one. What's an appropriate gift to give?
Any multiple of $18 is appropriate, if you plan on giving $$$

Fiche, high five, that is so awesome.

As fiche said, a multiple of $18 works (chai = life with numbers being assigned to Hebrew letters adds up to 18). If a not close friend $36 is fine. Real close friend $50 or $54 (chai X 3) is fine too. Concrete gifts work too. My son was bar mitzvahed 3 years ago but I don't think inflation has occurred in this area during that time.

Parker pen and pencil set or cufflink and tie bar set.

So you're the reason I couldn't have the username "monkey.":devil:

Give whatever you want, just say, "mazel tov" alot. Whenever unsure, say, "it's a mitvah."

JB, you're such a wannabe, like Mr. Shh.

Posted By: jersey_boySo you're the reason I couldn't have the username "monkey."


:rolling: :rolling: :rolling:

If your son is going to a bar mitzvah of one of his classmates/teammates, the "standard" gift from child to child in SO/M is $36.

cramer's suggestion reminds me of some footage we have of my father walking out of the Synagogue after his bar mitzvah in 1948. He looks at the camera, holds up three pens and shrugs, looking very dismayed.
:rolling:

Fountain pens were highly valued at the time. When a boy received one on his bar mitzvah, he felt rich. All they were using until then were pens with the same tip but no fountain (reservoir) inside, so they had to keep dipping in the inkwell. There's a story about a boy who was so excited about his expected gifts that when he made his speech to the congregation, instead of saying, "today I am a man," he said, "today I am a fountain pen."

:rolling:

well, I can tell you my dad wasn't happy he had THREE!

I still have three Parker pen and pencil sets, in the original case and unused. My bar mitzvah was in the '50s. "Today I am a fountain pen."

:rolling::rolling:

Exactly!!

Cash is totally appropriate. And like the other folks said, in a number divisible by 8.

Much preferred to a pen (no offense intended to anyone who suggested it).

another big gift in the 70's was book ends!

Posted By: CmcGCash is totally appropriate. And like the other folks said, in a number divisible by 8.

Much preferred to a pen (no offense intended to anyone who suggested it).


Divisible by 18.

Divisible by 8 or 18?

monkey -

it is eighteen (18). The number stands for "Life" because the letters Chet and Yod are the eighth and tenth in the Hebrew alphabet and they spell the word "Chai"

The 18 thing is apparently fairly well (if not universally) known around here, witness this thread. However, a few years ago, my mother in Texas asked me this question because she was invited to a neighbor child's Bat Mitzvah. I didn't know (as it was before my children started attending Bar/Bat Mitzvahs here) so I asked my jewish next door neighbor who told me about the significance of 18. My mother took the advice and the recipients were VERY impressed that she knew to do so.

That's because (I'm guessing) there aren't so many Jews in that part of Texas.

Skip the gift and give a cash multiple of $18. Most of the time, the $ goes towards the college fund...

Posted By: jersey_boySo you're the reason I couldn't have the username "monkey."

Maybe "Monkey Butt" is still available?

I used to go with $36 but now give Barnes & Noble or Borders gift card. Anything learning-related is always appropriate (even though my daughter's friends doubtless spend it all on manga), and the kids like getting a gift they can use from their friends vs. money that goes to the college fund.

Pen sets, nyyyah!

Either Kokoro or the Tenth Muse have some very appropriate gifts for these occasions. cecilia


You can not reply as this discussion is Closed!