6 year old bullied. Parents opt for cosmetic surgery. WWYD?

Read this and thought...what a tough decision for this family to make. Their cutie pie 6 year old son was being taunted/bullied by his classmates because of his protruding ears. His parents said it really screwed with his self esteem and he was extremely unhappy in school. The bullying was unbearable.

WWYD? Opt for the surgery? Hold the school more accountable for allowing the bullying to continue? Who's to say that after the surgery, the bullying will stop? Won't this just give them something else to pick on him about?

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/utah-boy-6-undergoes-surgery-bullied-article-1.2380378

His ears did seem a bit... Extreme. I don't know what the right choice would be. It deserves more thought than I'll give it just reading an article.

I can say with great certitude and celerity that I wouldn't be taking interviews and contacting the press and slathering my boy's before and after shots from coast to coast

I had an adult client who had had surgery for his ears as a child. He was grateful. We can't control other people's behavior. It's not like he won't run into other teasing in life. Why not take care of something if you can

An acquaintance of mine, K, had a similar issue with her daughter being bullied for her ears. K and her husband opted for surgery for their daughter. A few months later I started seeing what looked like professional photo session pics showing up on their FB feed. And now (only one year later) I see her daughter starting to get paid modeling gigs (she isn't even 10 yet) and part of me wonders if that wasn't at least part of the parent's motivation for their daughter to go through with the surgery at such a young age.

I don't think these need to be mutually exclusive. Regardless the decision to have the surgery, the bullying behavior should have been addressed. There are many cosmetic procedures that people have that are not necessary, but help their confidence. I had braces to correct a small gap. It wasn't a medical necessity, but it made me feel better about myself.

This was an extreme problem, a legitimate major defect....even if there was no bullying, the parents did the right thing by having it corrected...assuming the child also wanted it at that time.

Don't have a problem with the surgery - this isn't botox. I don't see this any differently than getting braces for cosmetic reasons. Why the parents felt the need to go public is another thing.

Yes, the thing that makes me cringe is the parents taking a victory lap with all this PR. I also wonder whether the bullying has stopped... I can't see the offenders shutting up and going away. They've applied a very public Bandaid, but there could still be a lot of issues to get through for that little boy.

I guess what hit me with the person I am talking about was the timing. A six year old has surgery and at age 12 tries to get into modeling, probably not related. But this was not the case. And professional photos were only months later. The timing just made it look like one of the things that went into the decision.

new_2_nj said:
I don't think these need to be mutually exclusive. Regardless the decision to have the surgery, the bullying behavior should have been addressed. There are many cosmetic procedures that people have that are not necessary, but help their confidence. I had braces to correct a small gap. It wasn't a medical necessity, but it made me feel better about myself.

This^

Bullying should not be tolerated. It should be addressed head on. Kids can be mean about all sorts of things.

Sadly, those ears seem like they would be a lightening rod for such behavior. I'm not saying it's right, just commenting on the reality of the situation. I would have them fixed...for my kid, not to quiet bullying. If my child were uncomfortable with something on their body, I'd certainly help them address it as needed.

mammabear said:
Bullying should not be tolerated. It should be addressed head on. Kids can be mean about all sorts of things.
Sadly, those ears seem like they would be a lightening rod for such behavior. I'm not saying it's right, just commenting on the reality of the situation. I would have them fixed...for my kid, not to quiet bullying. If my child were uncomfortable with something on their body, I'd certainly help them address it as needed.

In a perfect world, the surgery would squash the bullying - but will it? I can hear some kids chanting, "You had your ears pinned so you wouldn't fly away" or something of that nature. I would like to know from the parents what steps were taken against the bullying and did the (possible) poor outcome of resolve lead them to make their decision?

The surgery won't quash the bullying, if this kid is a target. Learning how to fight back (not physically necessarily) might help. But being mocked for something one has no control over is pretty awful for kids. The surgery is so common, I don't think we see ears like that much anymore.

I have a child with ears that stick out (but not nearly that much). Our pediatrician suggested a consult in infancy. One was bent more than the other...what the pros call a "packaging defect"...in other words, it was bent in the womb. But it is also just a family trait, as old family pictures show. As an infant, she wore little caps to try to help flatten them a bit.

She was teased a little when she was younger, but as a girl, could mostly cover them with her hair. If they had been as projecting as this boy's are, we probably would have had them pinned before school age (it is a minor procedure). When she brought it up as a tween, we talked briefly (and in general) about what it would take to change them. If she ever pursues the topic (e.g. if she wants short hair), I'm prepared to pay for the procedure (or help, depending on circumstances).

I agree with others who said the bullying will not stop just because of the surgery. So I hope they addressed the bullying on other fronts, as well.

Well, as much nonsense as he puts up with now, it won't last- he's a ridiculously good looking little kid, ears or no, and I imagine he'll grow up to be a ridiculously good looking man. So laugh while you can, bullies. You'll be crying when he steals your girlfriend in a decade or so