"Quiet Car" etiquette archived

Well worn topic...no truer words can be spoken...

But I can hear you, so it's not quiet for me. Now shaddup.

I think you were right. But, the instructions given by NJT (usually) are, talk in low voices/quiet. I'll admit, my husband and I have done the talk in low voice thing - maybe not the whole ride home, but it doesn't seem fair to other passengers for us to sit in the quiet car if we plan on talking the whole time....doesn't make a whole lot of sense. So, we usually don't, or we try to get any chatting out of the way before the train leaves Penn.

I think that NJT should put signs up in the cars that state they are quiet cars and be more clear and firm about the instructions of what that means. There's a lot of ambiguity, I think, which results into a lot of unhappy patrons on both sides of it.

Mammabear - do you take the train to and from the city every day?

I agree that there should be a sign in the Quiet Cars. Many people don't ride regularly and are embarrassed when they get SHHH'd.

Good point about the signs -- for a while they were making announcements at each stop about the quiet car policy, and that was useful. (I think the problem with signs is that you rarely get the same car -- and "quiet cars" are only rush hour trains, anyway, so a car that's "quiet" going in would be, umm, not quiet? on the way out. Just one more thing for the already overworked conductors to keep track of.)


Also, Tigerlilly: as usual, you're both tactful and gracious. whereas I just simmer with rage. (I'm not proud of that, by the way.)

Quiet to me means no talking. So I will tell people to please be quiet. Some people will talk back, but then they see how almost the entire train is telling them to be quiet.

The quiet car is self-policing, so the conductors really aren't involved except to announce the policy. It's up to the passengers to let others know.

On the Amtrak quiet cars one particular conductor always made a point to say that there are no conversations on the phone or otherwise permitted in the quiet car if you needed to talk for a moment to a fellow passenger be sure to keep it to a library whisper ... I'm pretty sure quiet can mean different things to different people as we get older sometimes it gets a bit harder to hear ourselves and our quiet might be a low shout to others. Library whisper is a bit more colorful and descriptive.

If a group is planning on actually having a conversation on the train the quiet car is not a place they should sit unless the rest of the train is full. IMO

How would I know the Quiet Car from any other? If there is no sign... I sit in the wrong car... I would be so humiliated if I was chatting!
I want to avoid disturbing anyone else but if there isn't any indication of the Quiet car policy... how will we know until it's too late?

Trouble is, even if there is a sign, in a crowded train, you won't see it. On a crowded station platform peopel don't read the billboard notices about the quiet cars, so they fail to recognise notices inside the trains. Then, when you ask them to comply, they turn on you (embarassment, inconvenience, inertia etc). And it's not often anyone else will actually speak up to asist you the assertive one at the end of your tether.

Quiet Cars is a great policy, and self-policing is a wonderful concept, but catchy memorable re-education campaigns are needed before they will work together well.

(Yep, we're frustrated to our toes here too)

Posted By: truth2010Mammabear - do you take the train to and from the city every day?

Currently I do not, but I did for many years. Hubby still goes every day. I don't get the constant complaints about the quiet car. If someone were annoying me that badly, I'd either ignore them or move.

Posted By: TigerLillyI think that NJT should put signs up in the cars that state they are quiet cars and be more clear and firm about the instructions of what that means. There's a lot of ambiguity, I think, which results into a lot of unhappy patrons on both sides of it.

Agreed.


So what's the over/under on when the first pool thread is started???

Mammabear, tough to ignore when they're sitting right next to you. and the train was a car short and already full, so moving not an option. (but if they wanted to talk the whole way into the city, why didn't THEY move?)

Posted By: critterloverHow would I know the Quiet Car from any other? If there is no sign... I sit in the wrong car... I would be so humiliated if I was chatting!
I want to avoid disturbing anyone else but if there isn't any indication of the Quiet car policy... how will we know until it's too late?

It's the first and last car of the train during rush hour. The conductors usually make an announcement, but once you're seated it isn't always easy to tell, especially when still in the station (i.e. no light coming through the front or back windows).

Posted By: mammabearI don't get the constant complaints about the quiet car. If someone were annoying me that badly, I'd either ignore them or move.

Then the quiet car is not for you. It's for people who don't want to ignore annoying chatter. Annoying chatterers can sit in the rest of the train. Not sure why this is hard to get...

Posted By: Frank

Posted By: mammabearI don't get the constant complaints about the quiet car. If someone were annoying me that badly, I'd either ignore them or move.

Then the quiet car is not for you. It's for people who don't want to ignore annoying chatter. Annoying chatterers can sit in the rest of the train. Not sure why this is hard to get...

If they are short a car and there is no place to sit, I think we all need to grin and bear it. I would think the quiet car peeps would be a little more open to some quiet chatter, and the chatter boxes would tone it down.

Is it that hard to give and take or do we now need to post another thread on MOL???

If you are sitting in the first or last car of a peak train then you are in a quiet car...whether the train is 3 cars long or 10 cars long. If you sit in either of these cars then follow the rules or move to another car. Is it that hard to not talk for 35 minutes???

THANK YOUslowrunner! that's what I wanted to know!

and thanks, spqr... I had no idea WHICH were the quiet cars. : )

Plus, it's not just the chatter. It's sound from various devices that people carry and use: these are discouraged in the quiet car, but can be used with almost-abandon in the rest of the train. The quiet car is for quiet and calm, like a little oasis in your day when you can get it.

The rules for the Hoboken trains are a little different since there is only one quiet car per peek time train. There it is the first car east bound and the last car west bound where the quiet car rules apply.

Posted By: spqrIs it that hard to not talk for 35 minutes???

Sometimes, yes.

Signage would be really easy to accomplish. Just make a bunch of removable magnetic signs saying "QUIET CAR" in big red lettering against a yellow fluorescent background, stick them on the outside of the designated cars next to the stairwells and on the inside next to the doorway.

I tend to take the last trains during peak hours and the Quiet Car concept is usually ignored by conductors and passengers alike. I would rather they not have it than have it and not enforce it.

Am I the only one that sees the irony in this?

Posted By: mammabearI don't get the constant complaints about the quiet car. If someone were annoying me that badly, I'd either ignore them or move.

Posted By: mammabearIs it that hard to give and take or do we now need to post another thread on MOL???

gonets - you are not the only one who sees the irony.

Posted By: mammabear

Posted By: spqrIs it that hard to not talk for 35 minutes???

Sometimes, yes.

Then you would be asked to move to a non-quiet car...by other passengers...and if that didn't work, then the conductor would be summoned...easy fix.

mammabear, i am going to say this in the nicest way possible and hope you will read this with an open mind and heart. you say you would ignore someone who is annoying you or move, but you seem unable to do that on this message board. if a post does not apply or appeal to you, or if you feel it's been brought up before, you do not have to reply with snark, you can make the conscious decision to ignore it.

if we are all a little more considerate and compassionate we will all be happier, healthier and less stressed. i make a conscious daily effort to consider my actions and how they will affect others. if it doesn't contribute something positive to the person, the conversation, or the situation, then it's not worth it to me, even on the smallest level like this message board. if i don't like a topic, it is not worth my time to post about how it's been brought up before. let people vent or ask a question. if you don't like it, move along to another post. it's not worth getting annoyed or stressed over, life is too precious.

Posted By: mammabear

Posted By: spqrIs it that hard to not talk for 35 minutes???

Sometimes, yes.

Then don't sit in the quiet car. This really doesn't seem very complicated to me.

Posted By: spqrJune 2nd 2011 9:35:55 AMpermalinkquoteReport Post

Posted By: mammabear

Posted By: spqrIs it that hard to not talk for 35 minutes???

Sometimes, yes.

Then you would be asked to move to a non-quiet car...by other passengers...and if that didn't work, then the conductor would be summoned...easy fix.

there are only two quiet cars. if one cannot refrain from having a conversation for 35 minutes, they can move to one of the 6-8 non-quiet cars. Those who want quiet after a long stressful day do not have the option of moving to another car.

Posted By: truth2010

Posted By: spqrJune 2nd 2011 9:35:55 AMpermalinkquoteReport Post

Posted By: mammabear

Posted By: spqrIs it that hard to not talk for 35 minutes???

Sometimes, yes.

Then you would be asked to move to a non-quiet car...by other passengers...and if that didn't work, then the conductor would be summoned...easy fix.

there are only two quiet cars. if one cannot refrain from having a conversation for 35 minutes, they can move to one of the 6-8 non-quiet cars. Those who want quiet after a long stressful day do not have the option of moving to another car.

I was suggessting that the talker would be asked to move to a non-quiet car...not the other way around.

Posted By: truth2010mammabear, i am going to say this in the nicest way possible and hope you will read this with an open mind and heart. you say you would ignore someone who is annoying you or move, but you seem unable to do that on this message board. if a post does not apply or appeal to you, or if you feel it's been brought up before, you do not have to reply with snark, you can make the conscious decision to ignore it.

Disagreeing with someone is one thing, offering a solution or the recommendation to take a deep breath is quite another. Perhaps I could I have been less direct?! Sometimes tone and language are lost when you post on a message board. Who knows. For the record, there are plenty of threads I avoid for any number of reasons. Sometimes it's the OP, sometimes, it's the topic, sometimes, it's just not worth it. I'm not trying to be the board snark. I'm no anonymous. What I post here, I say IRL. In this case, my posts were not meant to be snarky....they were meant to say "hey, life isn't perfect all the time. Sometimes people don't follow the rules. Sometimes circumstances mean accommodations need to be made. If we all give and take a little, life would be much easier". This means both sides. Of course the quiet train should be quiet. Perhaps there needs to be better signage. Perhaps there should be more cars so everyone has a place to sit. Perhaps the rules should be more clear. My point is, if we let our feathers get ruffled a little less, life would be far less stressful.

Posted By: truth2010if we are all a little more considerate and compassionate we will all be happier, healthier and less stressed.

You realize we are saying the same thing? But it works both ways.