What I forgot to "teach" my college freshman...

kmk

My daughter is a freshman in college out of state. I helped her move into her dorm in August and set her on her way. She has kept in touch via email and text just like any young adult. She was delighted to receive a "care package" from me about a month ago. She had been lounging in bed and an text alert was sent to her phone by the dorm to tell her that a package was waiting. A very welcome surprise.

Soon after all hell broke loose.

She lost her wallet which contained everything. She reported it to the campus security and was told to wait to hear back from them. She managed to borrow enough money to take a bus to a full-service branch of her bank to replace her ATM card only to find out that the branch was a "motor bank" no walk-ups allowed. She then called and asked for a replacement over the phone and waited. And waited. And waited. No card.

She lived via her phone. Food from Seamless (credit card on file), transportation from Uber (credit card on file.)

After 3 weeks I insisted that she find a bank branch and take card of this in person. I also mailed her a replacement credit card.

Last night I mentioned the replacement card and she melted down saying that it too did not arrive!

I asked "When did you last check your mail box?" She explained.. never. She waits for a text and then goes down and gets her stuff. I had to explain to her that the texts were only for packages.

Today, after having been on campus since mid-August, my daughter located her dorm mailbox and checked it for the first time.

It was all there. GAHHHHH!!! I forgot to teach her how to communicate via mail.


Like  1 Like
mjh
kmk said:
My daughter is a freshman in college out of state. I helped her move into her dorm in August and set her on her way. She has kept in touch via email and text just like any young adult. She was delighted to receive a "care package" from me about a month ago. She had been lounging in bed and an text alert was sent to her phone by the dorm to tell her that a package was waiting. A very welcome surprise.

Soon after all hell broke loose.
She lost her wallet which contained everything. She reported it to the campus security and was told to wait to here back from them. She managed to borrow enough money to take a bus to a full-service branch of her bank to replace her ATM card only to find out that the branch was a "motor bank" no walk-ups allowed. She then called and asked for a replacement over the phone and waited. And waited. And waited. No card.
She lived via her phone. Food from Seamless (credit card on file), transportation from Uber (credit card on file.)
After 3 weeks I insisted that she find a bank branch and take card of this in person. I also mailed her a replacement credit card.
Last night I mentioned the replacement card and she melted down saying that it too did not arrive!
I asked "When did you last check your mail box?" She explained.. never. She waits for a text and then goes down and gets her stuff. I had to explain to her that the texts were only for packages.
Today, after having been on campus since mid-August, my daughter located her dorm mailbox and checked it for the first time.
It was all there. GAHHHHH!!! I forgot to teach her how to communicate via mail.

oh oh


Sorry, but I can just see my son doing the same. Not much reason to go to a mail box these days.........


Like  
DaveSchmidt

Ah, I remember the small crowd that would form at the boxes every day as soon as the mail carrier arrived at the dorm. Like certain sophs to a certain flame.


Like  
campbell29

My child had no idea she even had a mailbox. Only package notifications. My mom sent her a birthday card, she assumed it would show up in her room. I told her she probably had a campus mailbox for letters and stuff. I gave her an extra incentive by telling her the card probably had money inside I think she might have found her mailbox, but I am not sure


Like  1 Like
doulamomma

Oh I could totally see this happening with my son! O


Like  
Maryanne

Something similar happened when my daughter was waiting for an overnight package from me at her sorority house. (They were told to continue using the university mail boxes in the student center instead of the house.) Since it was a large padded envelope the mail carrier delivered it to the mailbox. She and her friends kept checking the porch; I was ready to lodge a complaint to USPS when someone finally checked the mailbox.

The Boy is at Montclair State and their dorm discontinued using the mailboxes in the lobby of their tower this school year. One of the RAs told me the students mainly get packages and they don't fit anyway, so they send a text message to the student who gets mail. Apparently, there aren't that many students who do, so it isn't a big chore.


Like  
ceidefields

I wish I had this simple an issue. Apparently I forgot to teach my freshman how to responsibly use his "emergency only + college books" credit card. $2,000 in four weeks. Card cancelled needless to say. This is from a kid who has always had part time jobs and worked for all his pocket money.


Like  
marylago


ceidefields said:

I wish I had this simple an issue. Apparently I forgot to teach my freshman how to responsibly use his "emergency only + college books" credit card. $2,000 in four weeks. Card cancelled needless to say. This is from a kid who has always had part time jobs and worked for all his pocket money.

Oh no!  tongue rolleye 


Like  
boomie

You guys sent your kids to school with credit cards?  Wow!


Like  
ml1


ceidefields said:

I wish I had this simple an issue. Apparently I forgot to teach my freshman how to responsibly use his "emergency only + college books" credit card. $2,000 in four weeks. Card cancelled needless to say. This is from a kid who has always had part time jobs and worked for all his pocket money.

had to buy an emergency iPad


Like  
ceidefields

He had an Amex to buy books and for emergencies. He doesn't have it any more and he is paying the bill (or I'm not paying next semester tuition). Doh on my part but lesson learned. He was buying food for all his new friends.


Like  
boomie

haha.  He is generous with other people's money.


Like  1 Like
ml1

was he collecting cash from the other guys and putting the bill on his card?


Like  
onceinawhile

I, too, had to explain that using the emergency card did not include $6.00 for coffee because she had no cash. . . 

She knew all about mail boxes though because I failed to send her to school with a card only to learn that to buy/rent textbooks required a card. So I had one sent.  It arrive in her mailbox. 

Other teachable moments: washing something promptly with a stain, promptly is sooner than the twice monthly regular wash.     

A barber can be found in a big metropolitan city so a haircut need not wait until the thanksgiving vacation.

 


Like  
ceidefields

"A barber can be found in a big metropolitan city so a haircut need not wait until the thanksgiving vacation." 

 oh oh That's hilarious. 

Yeah, I FREAKED out when I looked at my Amex statement. Guess you just spent all your pocket money for the year buddy.


Like  
shoshannah

A friend told me her son, who goes to college about 40 minutes from home, brings his mail HOME to mail. He didn't know how to send outgoing mail other than by sticking it out of his house mailbox.


Like  
mjc

Oh that first semester spending!

Prepaid or secured credit card with a low maximum (not dad and mom's card) seems like a good thing, though.  Safer than cash, and as noted above some places/occasions require a card.


Like  
lisat

Younger son mentioned this year (he's a senior) that he had never received a letter from anyone, and probably best not to send him one. Didn't know about the package alerts. I learned something.



Like  
drummerboy

My 23 year old son lives with me, and I've been trying to get him into the habit of picking up the mail (we live in an apartment and going to the mailbox usually requires a detour on the way to our door, depending on where you park.) . He's slowly remembering to do it on a regular basis, but he still hasn't learned the trick of checking the mail to see if any of it is for him.

So, I still have to hand-deliver his mail to him.

grrrrr


Like  
onceinawhile

Oddly, the subject of the mailbox came up again this week.  Son' new friend at college texted son's sister and said we, the family were neglecting son as everyone checks their boxes and gets mail, except my son.  Roommate gets two letters  a week from his family.  Friend gets letters from her high school best friend's family even.  Why nothing for my poor boy? So we wrote him letters, he should get one a day this week and we sent him cookies, and all the left over halloween candy.  He was grateful.  I know  we cannot keep this up and we will not keep this up, but odd that the friend felt it necessary to remind us that he has a box. 



Like  1 Like
Scully


onceinawhile said:

Oddly, the subject of the mailbox came up again this week.  Son' new friend at college texted son's sister and said we, the family were neglecting son as everyone checks their boxes and gets mail, except my son.  Roommate gets two letters  a week from his family.  Friend gets letters from her high school best friend's family even.  Why nothing for my poor boy? So we wrote him letters, he should get one a day this week and we sent him cookies, and all the left over halloween candy.  He was grateful.  I know  we cannot keep this up and we will not keep this up, but odd that the friend felt it necessary to remind us that he has a box. 

I don't think it odd at all.  Sounds like a good friend who saw a problem and took constructive action.  


Like  1 Like
shoshannah

onceinawhile
said:

Oddly, the subject of the mailbox came up again this week.  Son' new friend at college texted son's sister and said we, the family were neglecting son as everyone checks their boxes and gets mail, except my son.  Roommate gets two letters  a week from his family.  Friend gets letters from her high school best friend's family even.  Why nothing for my poor boy? So we wrote him letters, he should get one a day this week and we sent him cookies, and all the left over halloween candy.  He was grateful.  I know  we cannot keep this up and we will not keep this up, but odd that the friend felt it necessary to remind us that he has a box. 

Really? I know a lot of college students, and not one of them gets letters. Packages, yes. Letters? Nope. All communication is via text.


Like  


In order to add a comment – you must Join this community – Click here to do so.