It’s 2020, I'm over 80 years old, wore out, and I still have so many unanswered questions!!!! I haven’t found out who let the dogs out...where’s the beef...how to get to Sesame Street... why Dora doesn’t just use Google Maps...Why do all flavors of fruit loops taste exactly the same, or how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop......why eggs are packaged in a flimsy carton, but batteries are secured in plastic that’s tough as nails...what does the fox say... why “abbreviated” is such a long word; or why is there a D in ‘fridge’ but not in refrigerator... why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor yet dish-washing liquid is made with real lemons... why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections... and, why do you have to “put your two cents in” but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts” where’s that extra penny going to... why does The Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune... why did you just try to sing those two previous songs... and just what exactly is Victoria’s secret? and where is Waldo?... Can you hear me now?...and do you really think I am this witty?? ... I actually got this from a friend, who stole it from her brother’s girlfriend’s, uncle’s cousin’s who lived next door to an old class mate’s mailman...
Why do we drive on a parkway and park in a driveway? When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
If you describe something as indescribable, haven’t you already described it?
How far up do bald people go when they wash their face?
If you’re trying to fail and you succeed, did you fail or did you succeed?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn’t that make the unexpected expected?
How important do you have to be to be considered assassinated and not just murdered?
Why is Goofy considered a person and Pluto considered a pet when they’re both dogs anyway?
If a vampire bites a zombie, does the zombie become a vampire or does the vampire become a zombie?
In the word ‘scent’, which letter is silent? S or C?
A few more:
Are children who act in R-rated movies allowed to watch the film when it’s done?
Do you consider eyebrows facial hair?
Do prison buses have emergency exits?
Can you stand backwards on a flight of stairs?
Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
How do you grow a seedless fruit?
If tomatoes are a fruit, is ketchup considered a smoothie?
If you told someone to ‘be a leader and not a follower’, wouldn’t they become a follower by following your advice?
If everyone says that life is unfair, doesn’t that mean that life is fair?
If the early bird gets the worm, why do good things come to those who wait?
What would happen if Pinocchio said ‘My nose will grow now’?
If Cinderella’s shoe fit her perfectly, then why did it fall off?
If nothing is impossible, then would it be possible for something to be impossible?
Why do noses run but feet smell?
What was the first man to milk a cow trying to do?
Do caterpillars know that they’re going to be butterflies or do they build the cocoon not knowing what will happen?
If we evolved from monkeys, why are there still monkeys?
If life is so short, why do we do things that we don’t like and like so many things that we don’t do?
When all is said and done, would you have said more than you have done?
How did the person who invented the calendar know what day it was?
Why did we decide to give February just 28 days when lots of other months have 31 days? Couldn’t we have just taken some of the 31st days from other months and added them to February?
If revenge is a dish that’s best served cold, and revenge is sweet, then is revenge ice cream?
Why are they called buildings if they’re already built?
If a vacuum really sucks, does that mean it's good?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Maplewood Tree Experts
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