More nonsense in the MMS hallways

mrincredible said:

All right, consider my run for Board of Education over.

It's a thankless job anyway ... you're probably better off.

As I mentioned my kid can handle herself. She is talking with her friends about getting together themselves to advocate to the school. I don't want any boys suspended or arrested for being inappropriate. I want the school teachers and administration to pull them aside and say that this is not appropriate behavior - educate the kids. They are inundated with violence and sex at an early age in today's media. They need to learn. That is a responsibility of the school.

In Philly we were at a charter school that was k-8. Kids from every neighborhood where there, kids living in extreme poverty and seriously violent neighborhoods to wealthy kids - and everywhere in between. From the minute they came in as kindergartners they were taught about being a Global Citizen and having respect for each other. As they grew up together these kids of different socio-economic backgrounds treated each other with respect and dignity. Sure, there was middle school nonsense but nothing like what is happening at MMS. If this did happen in Philly there would have been an immediate response followed by and assembly to remind everyone that they are Global Citizens and to treat each other well.

I feel like the SOMA district does not want to confront anything that makes them uncomfortable - whether it be sexual harassment, tracking, class and race. It is a real shame.

We will reach out to the school again and we will continue to support our daughter in how she wants to handle this. But, I really think the school is missing an opportunity to educate kids (especially boys) on the proper way to behave around girls. Changing dress codes and sweeping under the rug will not work.

cleg said:

But, I really think the school is missing an opportunity to educate kids (especially boys) on the proper way to behave around girls. Changing dress codes and sweeping under the rug will not work.

I agree with you. And just a reminder to parents, we all need to take an active role in educating our boys and teaching them how to be respectful of others. As the mother of a boy, how he behaves towards others, in particular girls, is greatly my responsibility. I need to teach him to treat ladies with respect. I am always dumbfounded by people who want their boys to be "boys" but then they are baffle by how their girls are treated. Teach your boys to respectful of girls, and your girls will be treated with respect.

I have to believe MMS has dealt with this before. Budding sexuality will exhibit this behavior, and it has to be squashed immediately. I am baffled that they stonewalled you or your daughter.

Have you tried talking with a guidance counselor at the school? When my daughter was there, we found them to be immensely helpful with other types of personal matters.

cleg said:

As I mentioned my kid can handle herself. She is talking with her friends about getting together themselves to advocate to the school. I don't want any boys suspended or arrested for being inappropriate. I want the school teachers and administration to pull them aside and say that this is not appropriate behavior - educate the kids. They are inundated with violence and sex at an early age in today's media. They need to learn. That is a responsibility of the school.

I applaud your ability to have empathy for the boys involved in this situation. I think their behavior is repulsive, disgusting, and immature. With that said, I agree that a competent administration should deal with the young men and not the police. Having a record at such a young age could be catastrophic to one's ability to become a viable member of society in the future.

But here is the rub: this behavior is clearly in violation of the "new discipline code" which was just launched and yet it is clearly not working as emvisioned. The Friday messages and character education which is supposedly being done for the past few weeks is clearly not effective. There is too much talk and not enough action in my opinion. While your daughter and Her friends are strong and dealing with it there may be many others that are not and perhaps not even telling their parents. The more kids get away with this the more they and others are emboldened.

I remember this kind of thing from that age and distinctly remember not even considering telling my parents. I certainly hope I can prepare my daughter better. Of course, the schools need to care.

I am sadly disappointed that the word "bullying" didn't immediately get a response. My son was bullied in elementary school and the principal was on it like a ton of bricks.

Agree with the good advice here and sending positive vibes to your family!

I am so sorry this is happening to your daughter and her friend. I have been down this road (not this school district) and the school did not properly or timely address the situation. When our school suggested that a teacher escort my child from class to class, I reached the end of my patience. I sent a strongly worded email citing the relevant laws and that the focus was misplaced, the school should escort the offender and not the victim. I gave the school 24 hours to stop the behavior and advised that afterwards my child would be instructed to call 911 from school and I would be contacting a lawyer. The school took immediate and swift action. The request was not to criminalize the offender but to use as a teaching moment and address the underlying problem. My problem involved one child and not a group, although after the school spoke with the offender, he enlisted others to continue the campaign. Good luck and best wishes on a timely and appropriate resolution.

OrangePurse said:

I sent a strongly worded email citing the relevant laws and that the focus was misplaced, the school should escort the offender and not the victim. I gave the school 24 hours to stop the behavior and advised that afterwards my child would be instructed to call 911 from school and I would be contacting a lawyer.

This.
While I strongly agree that the school should act to stop these boy's behavior, I don't agree that the school is responsible to "educate kids (especially boys) on the proper way to behave around girls."

That responsibility rest squarely on parents.

The school is responsible for keeping girls safe during the school day.

orzabelle said:

The school is responsible for keeping girls safe during the school day.

Exactly.

rukidding said:

I don't agree that the school is responsible to "educate kids (especially boys) on the proper way to behave around girls."

That responsibility rest squarely on parents.

r u kidding?

Keeping them safe during the school day will be accomplished with the help of educating them all about what is not ok.

All of the kids involved, and all of the adults, need to understand clearly how serious this is. And the other kids in the school need to understand that there really is NO tolerance for this behavior. None! That's one side of this that needs to be addressed. By anyone and everyone connected to MMS, SOMS and any other school.

.

The school is responsible for keeping ALL kids safe. All students have the right to attend school without the fear of being bullied and all should be taught to keep their hands to themselves.

Esiders said:

The school is responsible for keeping ALL kids safe. All students have the right to attend school without the fear of being bullied and all should be taught to keep their hands to themselves.

Kids are already taught this throughout every one of the schools my kids have attended in this district.

This particular group of boys hasn't gotten the message.
That's the problem. Not that there isn't enough "education" around the subject.

I didn't want to insert thread drift, but since someone upthread mentioned SOMS -- where my daughter is headed in a few short years -- is anyone aware of similar problems there, where girls are being targeted for harassment and inappropriate touching?

Same concerns, bluepool. It is useful to know that we need to prepare our daughters for this, in whatever way we can that will help them to feel both strong and safe. Ugh.

rukidding said:

Kids are already taught this throughout every one of the schools my kids have attended in this district.

This particular group of boys hasn't gotten the message.
That's the problem. Not that there isn't enough "education" around the subject.

If the boys have not received the message yet, then there hasn't been enough of it yet. It needs to be repeated until it is heeded.

The young women who are being harassed should learn a few self defense moves and get together and beat the s##t out of their tormentors.

lizziecat said:

The young women who are being harassed should learn a few self defense moves and get together and beat the s##t out of their tormentors.

Agreed.

Maybe then this group of boys will "heed" the message, like the rest of the boys.

lizziecat said:

The young women who are being harassed should learn a few self defense moves and get together and beat the s##t out of their tormentors.

Much as this has a great deal of appeal, I think it could also complicate matters greatly. They would then also be in violation of the discipline policy I'm sure.

Self-defense is a violation of the discipline policy?

sac said:

lizziecat said:

The young women who are being harassed should learn a few self defense moves and get together and beat the s##t out of their tormentors.

Much as this has a great deal of appeal, I think it could also complicate matters greatly. They would then also be in violation of the discipline policy I'm sure.

The young women would almost certainly get suspended if they employed violence.

Tom_Reingold said:

rukidding said:

Kids are already taught this throughout every one of the schools my kids have attended in this district.

This particular group of boys hasn't gotten the message.
That's the problem. Not that there isn't enough "education" around the subject.

If the boys have not received the message yet, then there hasn't been enough of it yet. It needs to be repeated until it is heeded.

Check your logic.

People who understand the law, break it all the time.

Unfortunately our daughter has had similar experiences for the past 3 years at MMS. We have reported the incidents to the school and have had many conversations with the administration and guidance staff. I will say prior to this year, the administration seemed less vocal in addressing the offenders.

In our daughter's most recent experience, the district determined that she was the victim of bullying. The offender's punishment - none (other than discussions between the parents, child and administration).

We are in the process of pushing for the segregation of the offender from any of our daughter's classes as she moves to CHS.

Big fan of video of these incidents. Institutions rarely act unless there is a threat of a lawsuit/fine, etc.

And if the girls are videotaping it, the boys stop because they are being filmed.