Mea Culpa

I have found myself so fundamental changed since the election of Donald Trump I want to apologize and repudiate all I have said over the years under whatever screen name. 

It has been a disgusting last couple of years. While I can continue to disagree with individual policy ideas at this point in time the current Republican party needs to eliminated and replaced with something eles. The NRA needs to be fought and defeated. It is fair to say that culture can be declared in need of change and active efforts can be made to change it. Much of red state culture needs to be changed and that battle must start and be fought in suburban areas in those states. 


This has been a two year long process for me. But Parkland was the final road to Damascus moment. The final complete break with the past and plea for repentance and forgiveness. 


Sincerely. 


Zoinks. 




Welcome home brother and peace be with you. I assume this means that you too - as Andy Borowitz said last night that I am now paraphrasing - realize first we win the war (turning Congress/Executive Democratic) and then we work on rebuilding the problems in the Democratic party. In other words - first we needed to destroy the powers that be that was causing the Holocaust before we help the German's rebuild.


If we can do as well in the future as post war Germany that would be great. 


Democratic is not enough in some cases. Has to be the correct Democrats. For instance there are too many NRA Democrats in Congress for real reform to pass even under Democratic control 


Glad to look forward to your putting your thoughtfulness to good use, z.


I watched Bowling for Columbine yesterday. Was not seeking it out but was scanning the guide and saw it was about to start. The amazing thing is how the madness has just exponentially increased since then. 


Why it is amazing? Columbine happened, and very little was changed regarding gun control.

Some will ask why shootings needed to increase in number before some people started to change their minds about gun control. I'm glad that unfortunately Parkland has become somewhat of a tipping point, but why wasn't Columbine enough for some folks? Or Sandy Hook? And sadly, Parkland still isn't changing some (or perhaps many) minds.


Another personal moment on my journey. The person who cleans out house (I am just referring to her that way because I do not want to use any names) has a friend whose family's stable lives were recently ruined for no reason. We have never met this family, but the person we know is one of the nicest, most helpful and all around greatest people out there so I am sure her friend is too.

Anyway this is a stable family of four (the two children are still in diapers). Mother and children are U.S. citizens, father is not. Both adults work and they are able to live in a suitably sized two bedroom apartment. Father tries in the system to become legal but winds up being deported. Family experiences immediate financial distress. From four living in a two bedroom apartment it is now three barely able to afford a studio. We try to help (we are providing essentials like diapers and laundry detergent we can get at Costco that are necessary but costly, especially when needed to be bought at local stores) but no one can make up for what happened. 

How sick is it for the government to break up stable families, which is what Republicans say they want to support, when there was zero cost to allow it to continue (and likely a net gain to the government)?




Burner said:

Another personal moment on my journey. The person who cleans out house (I am just referring to her that way because I do not want to use any names) has a friend whose family's stable lives were recently ruined for no reason. We have never met this family, but the person we know is one of the nicest, most helpful and all around greatest people out there so I am sure her friend is too.

Anyway this is a stable family of four (the two children are still in diapers). Mother and children are U.S. citizens, father is not. Both adults work and they are able to live in a suitably sized two bedroom apartment. Father tries in the system to become legal but winds up being deported. Family experiences immediate financial distress. From four living in a two bedroom apartment it is now three barely able to afford a studio. We try to help (we are providing essentials like diapers and laundry detergent we can get at Costco that are necessary but costly, especially when needed to be bought at local stores) but no one can make up for what happened. 

How sick is it for the government to break up stable families, which is what Republicans say they want to support, when there was zero cost to allow it to continue (and likely a net gain to the government)?

Thank you for displaying humanity and compassion.  Also, LEAR anyone fogrget, you've been in favor of universal health care for years. 


I feel more hopeful today because of this journey of yours. Thanks.


Thank you, Burner.  I do SO appreciate your humility and compassion as you share some of your journey with us.  I look forward to seeing the fruits of your mental labor in service of ordinary folks near and far.  As an aside, I wonder if you'd be willing to share the names of all of your MOL noms de plume so I can shift even more of my goodwill and admiration in your direction.  


Broigus, Zoinks, Zombie ZOiks primarily. A few short term ones I do not recall because they were banned so quickly. I have been using Ska for a while now for for posts that are not confrontational and where my attempt was to be reasonable. 

nakaille said:

Thank you, Burner.  I do SO appreciate your humility and compassion as you share some of your journey with us.  I look forward to seeing the fruits of your mental labor in service of ordinary folks near and far.  As an aside, I wonder if you'd be willing to share the names of all of your MOL noms de plume so I can shift even more of my goodwill and admiration in your direction.  



This is how I take my attitude to a global level. 


We as a nation are too bought in to a tough guy attitude. Guns are just a symptom of that. Too many people feel you need to be tough or you are a weak inferior person. 


A gun makes you tough. We need to be "tough on crime". We need zero tolerance for kindergarteners. But being tough just creates an equal counter reaction of toughness. 


60 Minutes reran a report on maximum security prisons in Germany. First of all only violent crime, or a repeat pattern of crime leads to prison. Second from the moment a prisoner enters therapy starts. The primary goal is reintegration in to society in a productive way. Guards are well trained in crisis resolution in non violent ways. And that is their primary role. All very touchy feely and non punitive. And it works. Not 100% but far greater than the US model in terms of repeat offense. And it is much cheaper. 


exactly.

But I have to say, I'm not completely surprised.

LOST said:

Wow!



Another personal point is having a daughter in a school now where therapy is a daily part of the day. Any crisis can be addressed immediately. The difference is huge. 


No child should be suspended without a long history as a very last resort. School provided sessions with a licensed child psychologist should be the punishment. Real therapeutic sessions. Which will take a huge attitude change in schools.. But it will nip so much in the bud. Properly guided children can develop good emotional regulation tools at quite a young age. 


It takes a big man to admit he’s wrong. 


Wow Burner!  I'd love to meet you IRL.  Seriously, dude!  Maybe raise a glass to the amazing resilience of the human spirit as embodied by metamorphites like us!  It is wonderful to see you taking your pain and turning it sideways to bring more light into the world!  


Wow!  Good to hear.

Have never understood why anyone wouldn't just use their name on a board...

Best Regards,

Ron Carter



rcarter31 said:

Have never understood why anyone wouldn't just use their name on a board...

I understand the desire for anonymity on a discussion board, Ron. What I don’t get is posting dismissive, inflammatory, misleading and sometimes just plain ignorant comments under one series of pseudonyms while using another “for posts that are not confrontational and where my attempt was to be reasonable.” I’d ask what the point was, but I’ve already spent more brain cells on this than I can spare.



rcarter31 said:

Have never understood why anyone wouldn't just use their name on a board...


I have a very uncommon name.  I'm really not interested in having a google search of my name turn up every bit of nonsense I've posted on MOL and have business associates or relatives know it's me.


I'm filled with admiration, truly. What a different world it would be if more of us possessed your conscience, clarity and reason. Congratulations.


rcarter31 said:

Have never understood why anyone wouldn't just use their name on a board...

I saw this speech a few years back by one of the founders of Reddit - he made a really great case for pseudonyms:

We could probably start a new thread about this - but I think usernames have a real home on forums and in some cases allows you to be your true self more so then real names.  Overall, it's the user's choice to decide how they want to express their self.  I believe pseudo and real names have their value.  There are many times on here when people have reached out for help under a pseudonym that they could have never done under their real name.  


I believe that Facebook has put the lie to the notion that using real names results in more civil discussions.  The discussions on MOL are way more civil than the SOMA Lounge is on FB, IMHO.


Burner said:

Another personal point is having a daughter in a school now where therapy is a daily part of the day. Any crisis can be addressed immediately. The difference is huge. 

No child should be suspended without a long history as a very last resort. School provided sessions with a licensed child psychologist should be the punishment. Real therapeutic sessions. Which will take a huge attitude change in schools.. But it will nip so much in the bud. Properly guided children can develop good emotional regulation tools at quite a young age. 

Thanks for sharing your turn-around. Is your daughter in a therapeutic school? How much of her experience -- whatever the experience was that led to enrolling her in a therapeutic school -- contributed to your change of heart?


Ron, re: user names, a few people here know who i am irl, many do not.  For me, it provides anonymity for family members i may want to say a few words about, more than for me.

And, always glad to see your name.  Happy memories, both mol and irl.



shoshannah said:


Burner said:

Another personal point is having a daughter in a school now where therapy is a daily part of the day. Any crisis can be addressed immediately. The difference is huge. 

No child should be suspended without a long history as a very last resort. School provided sessions with a licensed child psychologist should be the punishment. Real therapeutic sessions. Which will take a huge attitude change in schools.. But it will nip so much in the bud. Properly guided children can develop good emotional regulation tools at quite a young age. 

Thanks for sharing your turn-around. Is your daughter in a therapeutic school? How much of her experience -- whatever the experience was that led to enrolling her in a therapeutic school -- contributed to your change of heart?

Yes. The process of what has happened to her prior to the change, going through the change, the people in the school (kids and staff) has played a large role. There is a lot of meanness out, there are there are people in need of help and healing and people trying hard to effect that change. 

OK. Posted under a different screen name because I am at a different PC. But one I did own up to earlier oh oh


ska said:


shoshannah said:


Burner said:

Another personal point is having a daughter in a school now where therapy is a daily part of the day. Any crisis can be addressed immediately. The difference is huge. 

No child should be suspended without a long history as a very last resort. School provided sessions with a licensed child psychologist should be the punishment. Real therapeutic sessions. Which will take a huge attitude change in schools.. But it will nip so much in the bud. Properly guided children can develop good emotional regulation tools at quite a young age. 

Thanks for sharing your turn-around. Is your daughter in a therapeutic school? How much of her experience -- whatever the experience was that led to enrolling her in a therapeutic school -- contributed to your change of heart?

Yes. The process of what has happened to her prior to the change, going through the change, the people in the school (kids and staff) has played a large role. There is a lot of meanness out, there are there are people in need of help and healing and people trying hard to effect that change. 

ska/burner: Thanks for being so open and honest about this. I wish the best for your daughter. Thank G-d there are good places for kids who need it.

I am glad you've had a political change of heart. What most infuriates me -- I'm speaking in general, but your situation is one example -- is the culture of being a hard-liner about many social and economic issues until it happens to you or someone you love. 


Thank you for your apology, @ska. Do I take it that your apology includes a repudiation of your earlier claim that collective action makes no sense? I welcome your newly stated views.


@shoshannah, I can understand it. But for me the personal is only part of it. You can really thank Donald Trump. He just took everything to such an extreme level of meanness, evil and inevitable endpoints for some of the views I had been expressing my brain reacted like Nomad being given logical impossible algorithms until it exploded from an impossible viewpoint. And I saw the light. The U.S. needs to be remade with a new attitude.


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