Live-in "Nanny for a Senior"

I have an elderly parent that is in their mid-90s who needs assistance at home. They live in a continuing care independent living environment currently, but the 24 hour aids are just sitting there most of the time and are bored stiff. We hate that they are living alone... so we are looking to move them in with us & have a full-time at-home person to live in our house to take care of this parent... like a nanny for an old person. They would need the same things: help with bathing and dressing once a day, preparing meals and getting in and out of bed for naps and bedtime.

The employee would have a parking area, new private bedroom, new bathroom, and room and board included. The house is to have an elevator (for two), handicapped bathroom for the parent etc. Some errands like going to the market or drug store once a week etc. Lovely neighborhood where the person could walk to both Maplewood or South Orange from the Ridgewood Area.

Any idea of the annual income someone would need to perform this duty? I was thinking of an annual salary like $75K- 80K. Does this seem in the ballpark? Or is that too little or too much? Obviously we would give this person time off, and get someone to cover for them when needed for some personal time. My parent is a lovely low-key person and everyone says is a joy to be around. Looking to start this position around the Holidays - need to get our house in shape for this endeavor!


There are nursing agencies that provide live-in nursing assistants that do just what you are asking. I had one for my mom before she moved into an assisted living facility, from an independent care setting. It was not covered by Medicare, and ran about $4000.00 a month, maybe less. We used the agency known as Synergy, you can google them for local phone number, and ask to speak to Janet Crane.


I would recommend a refugee. I know a number of Iraqis who have settled in this area. A surgeon, pharmacists, and other medical people. It takes them time to recertify or get it together. They would be perfect. You probably won't find them thru the agencies.

Due to their culture, they have great respect for the elderly and are very warm.

I don't know any now, but you could snoop around.



krugle said:

I would recommend a refugee. I know a number of Iraqis who have settled in this area. A surgeon, pharmacists, and other medical people. It takes them time to recertify or get it together. They would be perfect. You probably won't find them thru the agencies.

Due to their culture, they have great respect for the elderly and are very warm.

I don't know any now, but you could snoop around.

+1. I would leap at this. Middle eastern women are wonderful homemakers and caretakers.

Maybe inquire about the Syrian family that just arrived and is being sponsored by several local synagogues. I seem to remember that the family has some working-age daughters. But it might be too soon for one of them to live independently.


another option is to hire a personal recreation aide to go there and do activities. I did that in college. The woman was fully conscious, but could not communicate. I held up her photo albums, read from her Bible, sat outside, read from Reader's Digest, sometimes watched TV-but talked about the TV show with her, etc.


75k is very generous. most get paid barely above minimum wage per hour. Room and board counts towards compensation. Of course the compensation would also depend on the on duty hours. Some live ins essentially work on their own 7 days a week, essentially 16 hours per day..and are on call over night. You MIGHT get some hours paid by medicaid, but if parent has any assets, medicaid will make you spend them down 1st. If the assets are gone, medicaid might still only pay for a couple hours per day. Medicare typically only pays for short term rehab nursing home/aides.


going through an agency will give you some protection as the agency should be screening/training/bonding the aides, but will cost you more as the agency gets their cut.


FWIW, you'll need to consider that there are three shifts in 24 hours, even if the care recipient is supposedly sleeping. So proper coverage actually needs a full HACCP (risk) analysis for all kinds of things you're vaguely thinking of but not really critically aware of until you get the full care notes from the current residence.

Screening and hiring matches are made not just against for skills, personality and interests, but also for how quickly someone functions when roused from sleep; how deeply they sleep (will they a call for help, or a small disturbance?) etc.

I'm mentioning this in light of our experience at work on Monday: we arrived to collect our program participant as usual at 8:40am. Her apartment is in a resort complex, a mix of holiday and residential serviced apartments; she owns hers. She had failed to answer her phones, and didn't answer her door; Reception was not yet staffed and Maintenance refused to assist. She has no family. We rang her PoA, who raced over and found her dead (possibly since Saturday evening). Her 90th birthday is in two weeks.


The caregiver who took care of Tabby's mom might be available. I don't know whether she is open to 24/7 live-in. Send me a PM if you want to speak with her.



tomcat said:

The caregiver who took care of Tabby's mom might be available. I don't know whether she is open to 24/7 live-in. Send me a PM if you want to speak with her.

We definitely want live-in. But please send me the information via PM.



krugle said:

I would recommend a refugee. I know a number of Iraqis who have settled in this area. A surgeon, pharmacists, and other medical people. It takes them time to recertify or get it together. They would be perfect. You probably won't find them thru the agencies.

Due to their culture, they have great respect for the elderly and are very warm.

I don't know any now, but you could snoop around.

Please snoop & PM me! Thanks



kthnry said:



krugle said:

I would recommend a refugee. I know a number of Iraqis who have settled in this area. A surgeon, pharmacists, and other medical people. It takes them time to recertify or get it together. They would be perfect. You probably won't find them thru the agencies.

Due to their culture, they have great respect for the elderly and are very warm.

I don't know any now, but you could snoop around.

+1. I would leap at this. Middle eastern women are wonderful homemakers and caretakers.

Maybe inquire about the Syrian family that just arrived and is being sponsored by several local synagogues. I seem to remember that the family has some working-age daughters. But it might be too soon for one of them to live independently.

I will look at this option - Love the idea of a someone from a Syrian family, on so many levels. Thanks for the suggestion!



joanne said:

FWIW, you'll need to consider that there are three shifts in 24 hours, even if the care recipient is supposedly sleeping. So proper coverage actually needs a full HACCP (risk) analysis for all kinds of things you're vaguely thinking of but not really critically aware of until you get the full care notes from the current residence.

Screening and hiring matches are made not just against for skills, personality and interests, but also for how quickly someone functions when roused from sleep; how deeply they sleep (will they a call for help, or a small disturbance?) etc.

I'm mentioning this in light of our experience at work on Monday: we arrived to collect our program participant as usual at 8:40am. Her apartment is in a resort complex, a mix of holiday and residential serviced apartments; she owns hers. She had failed to answer her phones, and didn't answer her door; Reception was not yet staffed and Maintenance refused to assist. She has no family. We rang her PoA, who raced over and found her dead (possibly since Saturday evening). Her 90th birthday is in two weeks.

Joanne, thanks. We have already had the HACCP analysis. I have been managing my parent's care for decades... just not within my own home: which is why I am asking these questions. As you clearly know, this type of care analysis changes quickly - the actual care plan will be established in 8-9 months when we are ready, and our house is ready to accept my parent.
We currently pay for 3 shifts with a home health service (we have used 4 different services over the years) and it is costing $540 per day, that's $197,000 a year PLUS $84,000 for the facility cost - so including other living expenses & doctors fees & meds it is easily costing us over $300,000 a year. I am personally stopping in every day, taking my parent to their doctors, buying groceries & care supplies, taking them to Mass, out to dinner and on vacation. So their care and hazard analysis is updated DAILY by the service and by me. I just buried one parent two weeks ago - and the scenario you outlined would never happen on our watch! But even with our dedication, love, and time, I want a BETTER way... I still have a wife (caring for her own parent in the same facility) a job, two young kids of our own. I clearly know what I am taking on and how to manage it - BUT I obviously want a more affordable, personal, hands-on & integrated life for us all.


A friend had a couple aids from an agency come to bath here after a double mastectomy. Don't get me started, but they were awful. My point being, don't get the cheapest and make sure you know who they are, etc.




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